☕️ CHOMPERS ☙ Wednesday, January 17, 2024 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

The most bizarre, most unexpected pandemic of all; another top official's mystery infection; corporate media promotes Putin misinformation; Texas Nat'l Guard slandered by Biden; more.

Good morning, C&C family, it’s Wednesday! 2024 continues to be a year of good news,  unexpected surprises, and gifts. In today’s roundup: the most bizarre epidemic yet shows up in the local news headlines; another top public official gets a mysterious infection and suddenly disappears into the hospital; corporate media promotes the most surprising misinformation uttered by the most unlikely source; and Texas debunks Border Patrol claims it negligently drowned illegal migrants.

🗞💬 WORLD NEWS AND COMMENTARY 💬🗞

🔥 You are going to think I’m crazy. This may be the most bizarre story we’ve ever covered, and it could be nothing but coincidence. But while I was diligently researching in the deep local news headlines trying to spot trends and uncover clusters of sudden deaths and jab injuries, you will never guess what I discovered chewing its way through local reports over the last twelve months: a new mental health epidemic — ear biters.

There are far too many to make a full report, so I’ll give you a few examples to highlight the diversity of this unexpected oral-audial interface. Let’s start with two nice young ladies from Florida, Dixie Stiles, 18, and Macy Regan, 23, who at a Fourth of July house party disputed a stolen bottle of vodka and a vape pen:

The young ladies’ disagreement involved an impolite accusation, angry demands for reparations, a 9mm pistol (not fired), a tussle, and the argument was settled when Macy bit off the top of Dixie’s left ear. Hence the head bandage. The removed portion of Dixie’s hearing appendage, sadly, was much too masticated for doctors to reattach.

On November 15th, Marcus Johnson, age unknown, strangled a Memphis police officer during a routine traffic stop and, after a short struggle, bit off a piece of the officer’s ear. A neighbor reported hearing the officer screaming for help. Fortunately for the rest of the world, the diminutive but scrappy ear chomper was soon subdued and charged with: four counts of possession with intent to sell (marijuana, fentanyl, meth, ecstasy, and Xanax), criminal impersonation, attempted second-degree murder, resisting detention, driving with a suspended license, violation of financial laws, and an expired tag. His bond, set at $500,000, was more than the repeat offender could stomach.

On October 2nd, Idahoan Sanae Snipe, 18, was charged by Blackfoot Tribal Police with felony mayhem and misdemeanor resisting or obstructing officers, after a 5am dustup occurred between Sanae and another unidentified young lady. According to the police report, Sanae “bit off a portion of (the victim’s) right ear, causing permanent disfigurement.” She just nibbled it right off. Or scalped it off. Either way.

A month later on November 2nd, Long Island resident Marcus O’Brien, 35, had a heated argument with his 53-year-old roommate that quickly turned physical. Marcus punched his unnamed roommate, stabbed him with a kitchen knife, tried to strangle him, and then bit off a “large piece” of his ear. Somewhat worse for wear, the roommate managed to escape to a neighbor’s home and called police. Apparently unsatisfied with the panoply of criminal charges already facing him, while officers escorted him out of the hospital, Marcus allegedly attacked them, and then they all had to go back inside so one of the officers could be treated for his injuries.

On November 21st, St. Petersburg resident James Anthony May, 52, was minding his own business at the Wheelhouse Gastropub and Bar (just off the beach), but his quiet enjoyment was rudely interrupted when he began arguing with another patron around 11:30pm. The argument “escalated,” and James surprise attacked the unidentified victim, biting and partially ripping his ear from his head so that it was barely hanging on by a scrap of flesh.

None of the many articles showed James’ picture, but I found a local criminal defense attorney registered with the Florida Bar with the exact same name. That attorney’s website describes him as “aggressive” and “fierce at trial,”  which sounds about right, and his website photo shows a guy about the same age. I don’t know for sure, but it looks like a pretty good match. If that was James, he should’ve just sued the guy, not munched his ear off.

That’s just the beginning. There are lots more. People involved in minor conflicts seem to be escalating right to the ear-gnawing phase in record time and in record numbers. Search for yourself and see. Here are some more headlines, all within the last 12 months:

• NYPD cop needs 20 stitches after maniac bites ear, officials say.

• 2 arrested after portion of woman’s ear completely bitten off: court docs.

• Utah woman bites off chunk of father’s ear during argument, police say.

• Texas Man bites stepdad’s ear, tearing cartilage, WCSO says.

• Fulton County jail officer speaks out about having part of ear bitten off by inmate. (Female officer, missing portion of ear never found!)

• Shoplifter bites off security guard’s earlobe in Tigard. (At Nordstrom! Ashlie Clark got six years.)

• Washington Man Accused of Biting Off Chunk of Stranger’s Ear During Dispute Outside Chehalis Bar.

What on Earth is going on in this country? Could it be jab-related psychosis? Are folks inflamed by seed oils getting super hungry? Are chemtrails turning people into zombie cannibals? Or was there always this much ear biting going on, and I just never noticed? Help me out in the comments.

💉 Last night, the CBS-2 Iowa ran a story headlined, “Sen. Chuck Grassley in the hospital for treatment of infection.”

Senator Grassley (R-Iowa) is a spry 90; he doesn’t look a day over 86. Yesterday, the Republican Senator was suddenly and unexpectedly hospitalized for “an infection.” There was no warning. They won’t say what kind of infection. But according to Fox, Grassley is getting “antibiotic infusions.”

We don’t know for sure, of course, but an infusion of antibiotics either suggests that Grassley is comatose and can’t take oral meds, or that the infection is alarmingly severe or antibiotic-resistant and they want the drugs in his bloodstream, stat.

Like maybe sepsis, for example.

On the other hand, Grassley’s office — not Grassley himself, mind you — issued a statement saying the Senator was “in good spirits” (as far as they can tell) and plans to get back to work for the American people, just as soon as he’s cleared to do so. Which, given all the secrecy, will probably be around the same time that Lloyd Austin is cleared for duty, or when Damar Hamlin makes his next touchdown.

Of course, Grassley is the Senate’s oldest member, and has enjoyed that stately title ever since Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Ca.) died in September after getting an infection.  I’m not sure which part of this story to highlight: the astounding elderly ages of too many of our current crop of leaders, a 90-year old’s shaky prospects after any infection requiring hospitalization, or the obvious intersection between what’s quickly becoming a very common category of potential jab injury (sepsis) and obscure reports without any actual appearances by the affected public official.

Grassley is a popular Republican Senator. To his credit, Grassley vocally opposed mandates. But in July of 2021, Grassley took the jabs:

We pray for Senator Grassley’s quick and complete healing.

🔥 In what possibly may be the most remarkable headline so far this year, Reuters ran a story yesterday simply captioned, “Putin says past U.S. elections were rigged.”

My goodness. Has Putin succumbed to conspiracy theories now, too? According to Reuters, the Russian President said “previous” U.S. elections — presumably referring to the 2020 presidential election — were stolen through mail-in voting:

Russian President Vladimir Putin, running for a new six-year term in an election that his opponents say is a parody of democracy, said on Tuesday that past U.S. elections had been rigged by postal voting.

"In the United States, previous elections were falsified through postal voting ... they bought ballots for $10, filled them out, and threw them into mailboxes without any supervision from observers, and that's it," Putin said, without providing evidence.

Haha, without providing evidence! No evidence. Like, is he supposed to carry the evidence of US election fraud around in his jacket pocket? Ironically, Reuters went on to suggest that Putin intends to cheat in Russia’s upcoming elections by, get this, manipulating electronic voting machines. Even more ironically, totally tone-deaf Reuters also accused Putin of jailing his political opponents on — and I promise I am not making this up — “trumped up” charges:

Trumped up! While that is utterly hilarious and totally ironic, and highlights Reuters cluelessly unselfaware reporters, but the short, 3-paragraph story was fascinating for what it suggests about corporate media’s newest narrative schemes.

This “story” isn’t news. Give me a break. It’s part of an old category of clear media manipulation that I call the somebody said something story. In other words, nothing actually happened. It was just a random Putin remark about four-year-old elections, yet every corporate media outlet covered it like he’d just announced war with NATO. Why?

Usually, the “somebody said something” story is a way for the media to make a point by putting the words in somebody else’s mouth, or support the current narrative.

Corporate media obviously knows how to ignore whatever Putin says. In fact, they are the best at ignoring stuff Putin says. They’ve been doing it for years now during the Ukraine war. So … why would they run this headline now?

After all, according to them election denialism is misinformation!

And not just regular misinformation. Election denialism is radioactive-level misinformation that threatens democracy itself. Think about it: If you had posted Putin’s remark on social media just last year, your account would have been instantly locked and you might even have been visited by the FBI. So again, why are they promoting Putin’s election misinformation?

The Hill’s version of this non-news story tried to pre-bunk Putin’s denialism, resulting in a nearly incomprehensible headline:

But the Hill’s article might help explain why the media is so in love with Putin this week that they are promoting his misinformation. Our corporate media seems to be afraid of what Trump is up to:

In his current campaign, Trump has encouraged Republicans to vote early, his strongest support for absentee voting, ballot collection and in-person early voting ever. In the video, published by the Republican National Committee in July, Trump said “we must defeat the far left at their own game.”

Haha! When Republicans use mail-in voting and ballot harvesting, it’s bad.  Is the corporate media using Putin to promote doubt about mail-in voting, because they are worried Republicans will harvest large numbers of ballots from nursing homes this time, like democrats did last time?

Or if that’s not it, what the heck do you think corporate media is up to?

🔥 It turns out Texas didn’t drown those migrants at the Texas border near Eagle Pass, after all. Eagle Pass is a migrant-crossing zone where the Texas National Guard is physically blocking Border Patrol agents from entering. Earlier this week, Biden accused Texas of being negligent and not helping the poor river-crossing migrants after the Border Patrol raised the alarm.

But it turns out Texas wasn’t notified until after the illegal border-crossers had already died. Which is how Mexico knew about them, resolving another weird mystery about the original story. The illegal migrants were long dead.

So it’s like the whip story all over again. You remember the whip story:

Texans, I would suggest not holding your breath waiting for an apology, either.

🔥 There are terrific developments breaking in Trump’s federal criminal cases, including the classified-documents case, that appear to be extremely good news, but we’re out of time for today. So, I’ll roundup the details for you tomorrow, as well as comment on the potential prospects of a new and improved, election-derailing “Disease X.”

Have a wonderful Wednesday! Stay warm, and get back here tomorrow morning for another terrific Coffee & Covid news roundup.

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