☕️ DOWN AND OUT ☙ Monday, July 22, 2024 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

Welp. It happened. Now, what happens next?

They said he was sharp as a tack! Never in finer form! Expert-approved mental acuity! Nothing whatsoever to worry about!

CLIP: Six minutes of democrats calling Biden “sharp as a tack” and so forth LAST MONTH (6:23).

And, just like that, BOOM. The tack fell out. As you surely already know, at 1:46pm yesterday afternoon, on a Sunday, someone operating Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr.’s Twitter account posted a hastily-written and, frankly, fake-looking de-nomination letter that some other unidentified person had typed up. Politico ran the story last night under the four-word headline, “Why Biden finally quit.”

Huddled together —but socially distanced— in Biden’s secretive Rehobeth lair, with the putative President hoarsely dry-coughing (despite four shots, a carton of Paxlovid, and a fifth of Jameson), the aides debated the best way to make the historic announcement.

Suggestions swirled around the room. A press conference? A televised appearance to the Nation? A polished, well-produced video message with his family beside him? A professional White House photo of Joe signing his letter surrounded by supporters? An airplane banner flying above the White House? Smoke signals? Wait! Eureka!

Then —we don’t know whose idea it was, maybe everyone— the most effective way to make the historic, unprecedented announcement suddenly emerged from the chaotic conversation, every head nodding in agreement, like a CVS shelf of Nancy Pelosi bobblehead dolls.

A Tweet! On Twitter! That was clearly the best and most professional way to memoralize the historic decision. Of course! So simple! Anyone with the password could do it! And it would neatly bookend Joe’s “I’m staying in the race” tweet from just three weeks ago:

Whoops! They forgot about Kamala, unmentioned in Biden’s letter, so obviously the best way for Joe to endorse his former Veep for President was to quickly plug a public postscript onto his de-nomination tweet, and that was that.

But, well, you know social media. Doubters everywhere. Nothing is ever good enough. Conspiracy-minded people immediately started asking questions: where is Joe? Why hasn’t he been seen for five days since he ‘got covid’ and bowed out of that fund-raiser in Las Vegas? Is he being held hostage? Is he still ALIVE? Who REALLY signed the letter?

To calm a nervous nation, not to mention NATO allies, former comedians fighting with Russians, and America’s enemies, Team Biden knew it had to do something. Something more that would prove Biden was still alive, still in control of the levers of power. Another brainstorming session ensued, and once again, Biden’s best and brightest found the answer.

They cleared Biden’s entire calendar for the next week! Including a widely publicized meeting with Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. That would reassure everybody, they concluded, and just like that, Joe’s handlers grabbed another week of downtime.

CLIP: Peter Doocey reports Biden’s schedule cleared (0:51).

🔥 I told you Act III was off to a bang. Collectors, here’s your second historic headline in one week:

Ironically, Biden’s term in office was bookended by a virus. He sailed into office on the wings of pandemic mail-in ballots, and nearly four years later, sailed out again under cover of covid quarantine. I struggled to find the right word for the tumultuous final days of Joe Biden’s record-smashing non-candidacy, and the best I could come up with is surreal.

Mere days following the failed assassination attempt on President Trump, with Joe Biden smothering under a giant, irresistible pillow made out of Democrat officials, corporate media, and pollsters, who all dialed up the intensity Sunday morning, publishing demanding editorials, joining lists, and posting cratering poll numbers, Biden finally tapped out. He was facing a horrifying deadline—time was up, and he was about to face the hard way. Politico:

So what else could he do? Joe exited stage left. He threw in the towel. He pulled the curtain. He bailed out. We don’t know yet whether it was in a body bag.

It shocked the Nation. Not a shock like licking a nine-volt battery to check if it still has juice. More like the kind of shock death row prisoners experience just before facing judgment. Nobody saw it coming. The Wall Street Journal reported Joe had hung in there to the last second:

Joe broke up with America over text message.

The Democrats pulled it off, a soft coup. They adroitly outmaneuvered the old man. Joe had fiercely sworn to fight Putin to the last Ukrainian, but surrendered his presidential ambitions to Pelosi without firing a shot.

Many folks have speculated that the Democrats planned this long ago, citing curious and thought-provoking evidence such as shady DNC rule changes appearing to allow last-minute substitution of candidates. But I mean, come on. Maybe they’ll pull some kind of magic rabbit out of a hat this week, but so far it looks like a Democrat worst-case scenario.

Even Shakespeare couldn’t have written this tragedy. I hate to pile on; I really do. But let us count the ways this situation is a unique, once-in-a-lifetime, destined to have its own Bidenic name, utter and unparalleled catastrophe for the Democratic Party. Now, their hopes appear to be pinned on Joe Biden’s impeachment insurance policy:

We’ll talk more about Kamala in a minute.

🔥🔥 Corporate media is, so far, trying to find solace in Biden’s Bailout, insisting there is historical precedent, mainly in Lyndon B. Johnson's 1968 decision not to run for re-election. But Johnson decided to bow out in March, not July, and even still it sent the Democrat party into a tailspin. Democrats nominated Hubert Humphrey, and Republican Richard M. Nixon handily won the election.

This time, Biden’s Bailout came not eight months ahead, but just 107 days before the election.

Curiously, Johnson’s political prospects were undermined by criticism of how he handled the Vietnam War. Another truncated President, Democrat Harry Truman, under relentless assault from heroic Senator Joe McCarthy, also bowed out of Democrat nomination, suffering public pushback from the Korean War. One wonders whether future historians will hang the Ukraine War around Biden’s neck when describing the root causes of his humiliating defeat.

In both cases, Johnson’s and Truman’s, Democrats’ replacement candidate lost badly to the Republican candidate.

Put simply, there is no historical precedent suggesting a Democrat victory. They have tried this before and it never worked. In fact, no U.S. political party has ever changed nominees this late in election season and won. If Democrats did somehow plan all this, they are making it up as they go along, and they have no idea how it will work out.

Napoleon once said, "Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence."

They missed, and so Joe had to go.

🔥 Within two hours following Biden’s sudden and unexpected Bailout, Alex Soros —heir to the $24 billion George Soros fortune— popped up like a deranged Jack-in-the-box, endorsing Kamala Harris for President. He also did it on Twitter:

Through the afternoon hours, consensus quickly solidified around Kamala. In the hours after Biden stepped out of the race, the Clintons, a majority of Democrats in Congress, and ten of the country’s twenty-three Democratic governors —including Gavin Newsom— announced their support for Kamala Harris. Infographic from the New York Times:

Today, I expect most democrat politicians will fall into the Kalama Harris limbo line.

Chalk up another historic first. Assuming she can secure the nomination, Kamala would be the most diverse candidate to ever run on a major party ticket. But her approval ratings are, and always have been, languishing in the 30’s. She’s not a terrific speaker. Her gaffes are, if anything, nearly as goofy as many of Biden’s. She has long been lampooned as being Biden’s impeachment insurance, since nobody wanted to see her occupying the Oval Office.

I peeked into liberal Twitter replacement BlueSky to see how the Democrats were handling the news. Responses to the possibility of the nominee being Kamala “Joe’s Impeachment Insurance” Harris were, well, mixed:

Mainly, the hyper-partisan democrats on BlueSky took a practical approach; it was just time to roll up their sleeves and get to work promoting the replacement, undemocratically-selected candidate:

Notably, the Washington Post’s Editorial Board had not endorsed Kamala Harris. Instead, it ran an op-ed headlined, “With Biden stepping aside, Democrats must now embrace an open process.”

Similarly, the New York Times’ Editorial Board, after praising Harris to high Heaven, called for an open convention:

Some Democrat elites do not want Kamala. But will that last? And what about voters? Biden had 3,850 pledged delegates. Now, those delegates should be permitted to choose whomever they want, with Biden out of the race.

Will the Democrat party save democracy from itself?

The Hill ran a story around 3:30pm yesterday headlined, “DNC chair vows ‘transparent and orderly process’ to choose new nominee.”

Will the ‘transparent and orderly process’ consist of rubber-stamping Kamala Harris, voters be damned? Some commenters remained skeptical yesterday that the Democrats can afford to hold an open convention:

CLIP: Newt Gingrich dubious about open convention or Kamala nomination (0:34).

Notably, former President Obama did not endorse Harris yesterday. National Review:

And don’t forget about independent candidate Robert Kennedy, who is still swimming around the campaign scene. The Hill:

🔥 The Trump Campaign has been waiting for this moment. It immediately released a campaign ad pointing out how Kamala helped cover up Joe’s mental decline.

CLIP:Trump’s Kamala Harris ad (0:30)

Kamala is saddled with all the Biden baggage and brings nothing new, except for diversity and being younger than President Trump. So.

🔥 Finally, predictable demands have already begun for Biden to step down as President, since if he can’t run for office, how can he run the office? It only took about an hour yesterday:

Ha. If they want to remove Biden under the 25th Amendment, they’ll have to find him first.

The mind reels under the weight of the unknown. Consider the possibilities for just the next 24-hour news cycle. Will Biden turn up dead or disabled, another tragic covid victim? Who will Trump run against, while Democrats dither about who their insta-candidate will be? After a week of assassination attempts, global computer resets, and disappearing candidates, what does 2024 have in store for us next?

Maybe instead of fretting about the future, we should be looking backwards. After all, we’ll be sorry when we don’t have Joe Biden to kick around anymore. Or maybe he’s already gone! Who knows. Anyway, as we, mystified and amused, foray further into political terra incognito, enjoy this final memorial montage of Joe’s greatest hits:

CLIP: Twenty minutes of President Cabbage brain resets (19:25).

Fair warning: It’s addictive. If you start watching, it can be hard to stop. Thanks, Joe, for the memories.

Have a marvelous Monday! What can I say? Get back here tomorrow morning to find out what happens next.

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