☕️ HARD STOP ☙ Saturday, September 2, 2023 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

Eris is out, meet Pirola, the new scariant; animal reservoirs back; Bill Gates' dumbest idea yet; Jimmy Buffet mystery SADS; Madonna update; Olympic swimmer SADS; US Open mystery illness; and more.

Good morning, C&Cers, it’s Saturday! Welcome to the Weekend Edition. Your roundup today includes: buh-bye Eris, hello Pirola, the newest and bestest scariant ever; new deer study hauls animal reservoirs back into view; the dumbest idea Bill Gates has ever come up with, and that’s saying a lot, will soon be government funded; Jimmy Buffet dies mysteriously; Madonna update; Olympic swimmer SADS; the paddle board connection; McCullough makes a connection and describes his jab protocol; US Open players dropping like flies from mystery illness that is definitely not covid; and a cute funny cat video for some mindless fun.

🗞💬 WORLD NEWS AND COMMENTARY 💬🗞

🔥 Goodbye, Eris variant, we hardly knew ye. Hello, Pirola! The New York Post ran the story yesterday headlined, “New ‘Pirola’ variant of COVID is spreading fast, has experts concerned.”

Experts concerned! What would we do without experts? I mean, seriously. And, of course, the media is blanketing the airwaves with Pirola nonsense. Here are just a few:

The terrifying new Omicron variant appears to be named after a giant asteroid, 1082 Pirola. It’s going to slam right into us! Panic!

Or, the name is a combination of the Greek letters Pi and Rho, as officially claimed. Which technically would be “PiRho,” but whatever, we’re dealing with experts here, so you have to cut them some slack.

Anyway, the latest horrifying scariant inconveniently evolved from the “BA” line of covid, and has the official designation BA.2.86. The story breathlessly reported it has “more than 30 mutations” in its spike protein, as if the fact viruses evolve were supposed to be significant somehow.

Wait, I get it. Pirola is a giant mutated asteroid! That’s even worse than a Kraken. It’s like a flying Kraken, if the Kraken were 42 miles across. Kraknado.

The fearsome new variant’s genetic lineage is significant because the highly-touted new and improved booster shots, announced only this week, projected to be available later this month, are already obsolete. They were developed to target the Omicron subvariant XBB.1.5, which doesn’t have the 30 mutations.

In other words, the brand new boosters or jabs or whatever target a completely different strain from the Pirola variant. Great job experts.

The Post’s cherry-picked expert said the vaccines will probably still work, maybe, but perhaps not quite as well as intended. “My guess is that it will also offer an added layer of protection from infection, but it won’t be one hundred percent,” Dr. Roberts says.

It’s not a hundred percent. It’s a layer. And, he was just guessing. Science!

Suppose I offered to sell you a bulletproof vest. But in the fine print, the receipt said protection is not one hundred percent, and we guess it will add a layer of protection. Your first layer was your t-shirt.

It’s like wearing two t-shirts! Now, how many vests would you like?

Anyway, here’s how the Post fear-mongered the new variant despite knowing almost nothing about it. It’s the ‘scary questions’ technique:

Is the new COVID variant worse?

The three biggest questions facing medical experts are: How transmissible is Pirola? Will it bypass existing immune defenses? How lethal will it be for those unlucky enough to get infected by it?

“Nobody knows right now, but studies are ongoing,”  Roberts said.

Nobody knows! In other words, they don’t know anything. They don’t even know whether Payola, sorry, Pirola, will catch on or not, at all. “The big question is if BA.2.86 will have the same exponential growth that Omicron did—in terms of case numbers—or if it will die out, which is certainly what everyone hopes,” Dr. Roberts explained.

Well, ‘exponential growth or dying out’ safely covers the entire spectrum of options. If it is exponential growth, it’s a shame all the vaccines people already took won’t protect them from Pirola. A dang shame.

Omicron is the least dangerous of all the covid variant lines. But never let the facts get in the way of a good covid scare story.

🔬 A new study published this week in the journal Nature Communications, titled “Accelerated evolution of SARS-CoV-2 in free-ranging white-tailed deer.” It had twenty-seven authors.

We haven’t visited covid’s “animal reservoir” feature for a while. In 2020 and 2021, the phenomenon was a compelling argument against vaccines, because jabs could never end the pandemic by “eradicating” the virus and creating herd immunity.

Unless you can jab all the deer, the virus will survive in the deer reservoir. And cats, dogs, monkeys, bears, lions, marmosets, and duckbilled platipi, or platypuses, or however you say it.

Then, after some point in late 2021, they admitted that the mRNA jabs don’t prevent transmission anyway, or even stop people from catching covid, and the experts finally shut up about herd immunity.

Anyway, the deer are still catching covid. Here’s what the study’s introduction explained:

We detected that SARS-CoV-2 was introduced from humans into white-tailed deer more than 30 times in Ohio, USA during November 2021-March 2022. Subsequently, deer-to-deer transmission persisted for 2–8 months, disseminating across hundreds of kilometers.

Setting aside the extremely curious question of how, exactly, humans are giving covid to deer — kissing them? petting zoos? people who identify as deer? — the study re-raises the original objection. As we continue to sprint after evasive viral variants with ever newer and improved-er vaccines, what precisely do we hope to achieve?

If we can agree the virus is out now and is never going away, then the only legitimate objective for vaccines is personal risk reduction. And if that is true, there is no justification for mandates, zero, none whatsoever.

Look at it this way. Let’s say my personal risk of dying from a covid infection is 0.001%. Should all personal risks of 0.001% or greater require government intervention? Obviously not. And don’t tell me it’s about grandma — the jabs don’t stop transmission. Grandma can get the jab as much as she wants, and if the jabs work, then she should be fine.

If the jabs don’t work, nobody should take them. Seriously. What is so hard to understand about all this?

🔥 In late July, Forbes ran a story that proves jab-induced cognitive impairment, headlined, “Chop Down Forests To Save The Planet? Maybe Not As Crazy As It Sounds.” The sub-headline was even worse: “Bill Gates and other investors are betting Kodama Systems can reduce carbon dioxide in the air by chopping down and burying trees. Now if only Uncle Sam would get on board with tax credits, too.”

Why is it always “Uncle Sam” when they want money? This time, they want tax credits for chopping down trees and burying them! Because climate change. Gosh. What will that goofy Bill Gates dream up next? Maybe he’ll look for some sweet tax credits to release genetically-modified mosquitos or something. Oh, wait.

How will they do it? The creator of Windows BOB has now created, and I am not making this up, a 17-ton “semi-autonomous” tree destroying robot that works in the dark. My imagination is still boggled.

Now, I’m old enough to remember when chopping trees down was a federal offense, or near enough. And what about the rain forests? Whichever, chopping down trees was always bad. And planting trees was good. Over the years, I’ve represented more than one unfortunate developer or home builder who got sideways with the local zoning board for chopping down one single tree.

The usual penalty for tree assassination was paying a crateful of money and planting a few dozen new trees. And you probably remember all the charities that took your money and promised to plant trees with it.

Well, forget about all that. You — not the experts — you were wrong.

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, wait a minute, trees are what reduces carbon dioxide. Chopping them down seems as dumb as eating Tide Pods with maple syrup for breakfast. But the experts are way ahead of you. I’ll let Forbes explain:

Yes, the conventional idea is to plant trees to soak up carbon dioxide from the air and to then sell credits to corporations, private jet owners and others who need or want to offset their emissions. But scientists say burying trees can reduce global warming as well—particularly if those trees would otherwise end up burning or decaying, spewing their stored carbon into the air.

Hahahaha! They got us! Trees are made out of carbon, dummies! So you know what that means. They must go!  All of them! Unleash the robots!

The “burial godfather” explained how it works:

University of Maryland atmospheric science professor Ning Zeng, considered the godfather of biomass burial, explains that the average ton of freshly harvested forest is about 50% carbon by weight, and if left to rot or burn it would put the equivalent of one ton of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. A good rule of thumb, he says: “A ton of biomass in the Earth is a ton of CO2 not in the sky.”

I bet you didn’t even know there was a tree-burial godfather. Which just shows how out of touch you are.

Here’s the thing: chopping down trees is good now, but we cannot allow loggers to profit from the harvested trees, by turning them into houses or furniture or pencils or anything practical like that. No, in order to prevent a windfall for the vile tree industry, the trees must be safely buried after they are chopped down, so nobody can use them.

It’s simple. Lots more carbon comes out of cutting up the trees and making useful things out of them. So under the ground they go.

The Forbes article didn’t estimate or even mention how much carbon would be created by cutting the trees down and running all of Bill Gates’ 17-ton tree-eating robots. I doubt the robots are solar powered or run on windmills.

Anyway, the very best part is: they want us to pay for it! In tax credits. If you were a billionaire, would you waste your time selling things into the fickle, demanding marketplace when you have the gullible government sitting right there?

Forbes speculated in the article about other advantages, like thinning forests to prevent wildfires — fires create carbon dioxide too! — but I can’t even. I’m starting to think you guys feel I say this too often, but I am not making any of this up, I promise.

You know what else is made out of carbon? Us. We are made out of carbon. Just like trees. Coming soon: Bill Gates’ people-harvesting robots.

Maybe Bill fall into one of his own robots. Wouldn’t that be ironic.

This seems like a good time to remind everyone of that famous old children’s lullaby, Mr. Vanderdeck’s Machine:

Oh! Mr. Vanderdeck, how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventin' that machine.
Now all the neighbors’ cats and dogs will never more be seen,
they’ve all been ground to sausages in Vanderdeck’s machine.

One night the thing got busted,
the darned thing wouldn’t go.
So Vanderdeck, he crawled inside, to see what made it so.
His wife, she had a nightmare,
and walking in her sleep,
she gave the crank a heck of a yank,
And Vanderdeck was meat.

Oh!

One can hope, can’t one?

💉 Legend and pop-music icon Jimmy Buffett died mysteriously yesterday, and the story unsurprisingly has blanketed the media. The New York Times ran the story headlined, “Jimmy Buffett, Roguish Bard of Island Escapism, Is Dead at 76.”

A statement released on his social media said simply, “Jimmy passed away peacefully on the night of September 1st surrounded by his family, friends, music and dogs.”

No cause of death was released, of course. So I had to do the journalists’ work for them.

The trouble apparently started back on May 18th, when South Carolina’s Five-Live reported that Jimmy, who was set to play a major concert, had to cancel after he went in to see his doctor for a routine “check-up,” and something came up that required his immediate hospitalization:

Buffett and the Coral Reefer Band were set to play Credit One Stadium Saturday night. The singer said he was hospitalized two days ago in Boston to “address some issues that needed immediate attention.”

Some issues. Jimmy spent several days in the hospital, but then told fans he was feeling much better and was planning to go fishing, take a sail, and do some paddleboarding. Hmm.

A little over a month ago, Jimmy was well enough to play a surprise gig during his friend Mac McAnally’s concert at a Rhode Island waterfront bar.

I’m tempted to suspect the jabs, of course, and some kind of untreatable turbo cancer, but I can’t shake a dark suspicion about the paddleboarding. There is it again. I’m starting to think those innocuous-looking floaties are crazy dangerous.

I mean, what are the odds?

We pray Jimmy Buffett, who entertained us so well for so long, is enjoying a juicy, double-decker, all-the-way cheeseburger right now in paradise.

💉 Madonna update! The occultist pop legend is back in business. The UK Daily Mirror ran the story yesterday headlined, “Madonna says she's back to rehearsals for her world tour after terrifying collapse.” Well thank goodness.

After the last couple C&C posts where we’ve done a deep-dive on rocketing rates of sepsis, the CDC’s stealth campaign to equip hospitals to treat sudden, unexpected, and serious infections, and reviewed studies suggesting how the jabs might be involved, I found quite interesting this paragraph from the Mirror’s article:

The Queen of Pop was forced to reschedule her world tour after her worrying hospital dash. She was intubated for at least one night back in June after suffering a "serious bacterial infection".

A sudden and unexpected serious bacterial infection. How about that? Another strange coincidence.

Regardless how we personally feel about Madonna, we pray the 65-year-old singer has a complete recovery.

💉 The New York Post ran a story last week headlined, “Olympic swimmer Helen Smart was found dead by 4-year-old daughter: ‘Distraught’.”

Helen Smart, 42, a former Olympic swimmer for Great Britain in 2000, was found dead in her bed at 4am on Saturday morning two weeks ago, after her 4-year-old daughter Heidi tried to sneak a cuddle.

"Mummy won’t wake up", Heidi told her father.

No details about what caused Helen’s death have surfaced, but the family called it very sudden. Helen’s mother told reporters, “We are just in so much shock. You jump from believing it to not believing it. … We’re distraught. They don’t know what it is but they think it must have happened shortly after she went to bed. She just died in her sleep.”

In other words, there was not one single sign that anything was wrong when Helen went to bed.

Now, I know you guys think I’m crazy, but take a look at this next sentence from the Post’s story:

Smart, a mother of two, went to sleep around midnight Friday, hours after paddle boarding at dusk.

Paddleboarding! There it is again. I told you! I was all set to blame the jabs when I spotted the nefarious connection.

💉 At a recent lecture, courageous covid doctor and highly-published cardiac researcher Dr. Peter McCullough advised, "the next athlete who has a cardiac arrest, the next actor or actress that has a stroke, or the next loved one that suddenly develops a heart attack or cardiac problem out of the blue it is likely due to the vaccine."

I’m not saying anything, I’m just saying.

Dr. McCullough has developed a preventative protocol for jabbed folks, and encourages them to start it immediately. Watch the whole clip (2:15). There might be someone to whom you should forward this information.

https://twitter.com/DrNoMask/status/1696238966029127832

💉  Now, for C&C tennis fans. Two days ago, SportsKeeda ran a story headlined, “’They're dropping like flies’ - Mysterious illness sweeping US Open perplexes tennis fans as Dominic Thiem retires & Ons Jabeur struggles.

At least five players dropped out of the match this week due to sudden illness.

Fans were “perplexed:”

Tennis journalist Ben Rothenberg, who was covering the tournament at Flushing Meadows, noted that folks in both the press room and players' lounge were displaying signs of an illness.

The Tennis Podcast even asked whether the tournament was “cursed:”

The US Open’s mini-demic has also perplexed the media, which wasn’t entirely sure how to report the story, for reasons that will become plain in a moment. Many Covidians were extremely frustrated at the media’s failure to mention the c-word. But the Covidians know.

For example, epidemiologist, federal disaster medical team member, and maskaholic Michael Olesen remotely diagnosed the problem:

But … it can't possibly be covid. The US Open infamously had a vaccine mandate. Just ask Novak Djokovic. If the media calls it covid, then … what were the mandates for? The entire US Open catching covid would sure be ironic.

The bottom line is the narrative requires ignoring covid. Sorry, Covidians. All those US Open players are jabbed. They have protection. So, Covidians, it must be something else.

Hard stop.

🔥 Finally, as a reward for slogging through some pretty tough material yesterday, enjoy this silly action-cat video, which is probably photoshopped, but is mindlessly entertaining anyways.

laughter__unlimited_

A post shared by @laughter__unlimited_

Don’t be the orange cat.

Have a wonderful weekend! Coffee & Covid shall return on Monday morning as usual, to help start the week better than a personal defibrillator.

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