☕️ SORRY NOT SORRY ☙ Monday, July 29, 2024 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

A quick roundup: media narrative swings on Biden and covid; smarmy non-apology for drag olympics; Butler SWAT team dishes on Secret Service; Proxy War stuck in the Ukraine mud; and more.

Good morning, C&C, it’s Monday! I am on the road again, this time in New York to litigate a fierce preliminary injunction hearing, so today’s roundup is on the brief side. No jokes about how much better it is this way, please. In today’s roundup: media suddenly discovers President Cabbage’s infirmities; Olympic committee apologizes, sort of, not really; Butler SWAT members tell ABC about Secret Service failures; more bad news for Ukraine after mega-aid package; Google misplaces the Trump assassination attempt; and media deploys a new summer covid narrative.

🗞💬 WORLD NEWS AND COMMENTARY 💬🗞

🔥🔥 Now they tell us:

“An unpopular president?” Either Joe Biden suddenly became unpopular, or corporate media has been caught lying during the entire period before Joe dropped out, back when he was sharp as a tack, or even sharper. With the same approximate IQ.

I challenge you to find any articles before this month discussing how “President Unpopular” was hurting the chances of down-ballot democrats. But after dropping out, now Biden was a down-ballot lead weight.

Meanwhile, President Groundhog spent the weekend in his hidey hole. This week’s schedule has him attending Rep. Jackson Lee’s sudden and unexpected funeral, and announcing a package of “Supreme Court reforms,” by which they mean a bill to rent the Supreme Courthouse to recovering meth addicts, and put the Justices into “temporary” trailers next to a steel plant.

What Joe is not doing is campaigning for presumptive nominee Cackle. For some reason.

🔥🔥 The Associated Press ran a story yesterday headlined, “Paris Olympics organizers say they meant no disrespect with 'Last Supper' tableau.”

They’re sorry if you took it the wrong way.

Artistic director Thomas Jolly, who designed the Drag Last Supper, explained, and I am not making this up, he only meant to celebrate “feasting and French gastronomy.” “My wish isn’t to be subversive, nor to mock or to shock,” Jolly explained as though talking to a five-year-old.

But you intolerant rubes assumed it was blasphemous.

“Clearly,” Olympic spokeswoman* Anne Descamps explained, “there was never an intention to show disrespect to any religious group.” Clearly. “If people have taken any offense we are, of course, really, really sorry,” she added, sneering.

(* spokesman, woman, we’re not sure.)

🔥🔥 Candidate Cackle was asked yesterday whether she’ll work with the GOP on the border, and gave one of her wandering, contentless dialogs. A fun party game is to let friends listen to her answer and make them guess what the question was. It’s harder than you think!

       CLIP: Cackle will be stuck to a teleprompter soon (1:07).

It is pretty wild that neither the alleged President nor the Vice President can express a coherent thought. But in two different ways.

Prediction: They will soon make her quit all extemporaneous speaking and Plan B will start reading everything off teleprompters. Just like her boss.

🔥🔥 ABC interviewed the Butler, PA SWAT Team yesterday. Among other things, the obviously unhappy team members said that they had NO communication with the Secret Service until after Trump and the others were shot. No briefing, no comms. Which, needless to say, is not normal.

       CLIP: ABC interviews Butler SWAT team (0:26).

If Butler County cops can talk to media, why won’t the Secret Service’s team give any interviews?

🚀 The Washington Post ran a sad story yesterday headlined, “Russia, adapting tactics, advances in Donetsk and takes more Ukrainian land.” The sub-headline added, “The new offensive focus comes as Ukraine faces depleted forces, sweltering heat and turmoil in a potentially consequential U.S. election.”

The article’s despondent tone is best summarized in these two paragraphs:

Things are going great! Remember, this dire situation follows the $61 billion dollar aid package. Somebody help me out; what do you call it when you pour billions of dollars into a giant hole in the ground, drop mortars and gasoline on top of it, then drive a bunch of high-tech tanks in for good measure, then set the whole thing on fire?

I’m just asking.

The news about the problems on the battlefield was not surprising to anyone keeping up with the war. But it was surprising that the far-left Washington Post told its readers the truth about the Proxy War to Save Democracy.

🔥🔥 Yesterday, the New York Post ran a story headlined, “Google omits Trump assassination attempt from a key feature as Don Jr. claims ‘Big Tech is trying to interfere in the election’.” Senator Robert Marshall (R-Ka.) tweeted that he would be making an official inquiry to Google this week as to why the search giant’s autocomplete feature seems to have already forgotten all about the assassination attempt on President Trump:

He’s right, I tried it myself:

Search engine software is very complicated. It has lots of “ifs” and “ands” and “logic gates” and other monotonous buzzwords, and dummies like us shouldn’t ask questions. Plus, it’s Trump’s fault.

Public service notice: your daily reminder that ‘election interference’ is literally the worst crime imaginable. And also insurrection. So.

💉💉 It’s that time of election season again! Lockdowns, social distancing, school closures, masks, vaccines; they all, apparently, failed. The Terror continues! Corporate media drowned in an epidemic of sudden and unexpected covid stories this morning. Here are a few alarming headlines for you. First, The Nation:

Newsweek:

Bloomberg:

The LA Times:

The UK Independent:

The Philadelphia Enquirer:

In his tweet, Fetterman vowed he was “grateful to be fully vaccinated.” Curiously, immediately after noting Fetterman’s jabby gratitude, the Enquirer reminded readers that Fetterman has had: a stroke, lingering auditory problems, atrial fibrillation, clinical depression, and last month, a bizarre car accident.

It could have been worse!

What in the Narrative is going on? Apart from long-expected, population-wide immune suppression, my best guess is that the media is setting the stage for people to wear masks to voting centers and ballot drop-off boxes.

Resist! If there’s one thing we’ve learned about 2024, it’s that everything can change in a split second. There are still three full months until the elections.

Have a magnificent Monday! C&C shall return tomorrow morning with your regular full roundup of essential news and snarky commentary.

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