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Eric's avatar

I’d like to take a moment to thank the United States Government for instilling in me such a profound and egregious sense of distrust, anxiety and angst that not only did I turn my phone OFF during yesterday’s panic fest, I - per impassioned, if not a bit neurotic, internet instructions - nuked it in the microwave for 45 seconds, coaxed the Reynolds Wrap out of the pantry and systematically sealed it up in an aluminum foil coffin, buried it (along with an 11- inch resin polynesian tiki statue and several ceremonial poi ramekins) deep underneath the wellsprings of a backyard Strangler Fig Tree, “cancel-cultured” my regularly scheduled yard work, and - since the end was nigh - booked a single pilot, single engine puddle jumper to Bora Bora, culminating my itinerary by, at long last, emptying my bitcoin reserves and securing that primo cemetery plot serenely nestled between the Exxon Station and Waffle House retention pond that I’ve been putting off since the Ford Administration. Additionally, I can’t shake the feeling that my 65” Sony flat screen is staging a coup d'etat on my better judgment.

Whoever wrote here yesterday that the Government has an approval rating of 19%......I salute your optimism.

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GERALD WILLIAMS's avatar

We do not need anymore "politically correct" people. Stay with the "X"

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