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Eric's avatar

To this horrid iteration of Democratic Party liars, lip doodlers and drool merchants,

Sunsets are wasted on you.

I realize getting your hand caught in the cookie jar can have unpleasant consequences but, please, a little decorum might be in order here. Elon Musk, according to Her Yuckiness AOC, is a rather dumb and ignorant dolt who, by all counts, managed to luck his way into becoming the richest man on the planet sans business acumen, analytical expertise or really any worthwhile skills to speak of. (I believe what we have here is a clear case of “the toilet” calling “the sink” porcelain.) But, hey, it is what it is. The President is free to appoint anyone he wants to get a job done, and as much as it pains you, our current one just happens to have the full support of sane people across the land. Frankly, even though Musk is working pro bono, Trump could HIRE the services of Sherlock Holmes, Teddy Roosevelt or Jim Rockford for all I care. One is a world renowned fictional literary sleuth, the other is a kick-ass, albeit quite dead, former U.S. President, and the last is a manufactured rough and tumble TV private detective, and all three of them are collecting social security…at least SOMEONE’S been cashing the checks. And, therein lies the problem…well, “a” problem…but you ignore the revelation and excoriate the revealer.

The more Musk, et al uncover gargantuan diaper loads of government waste, fraud and corruption - including some high dollar donations to campy sex change advocates and barbaric foreign terrorist groups - the more oppositional caterwauling and squawking you do, and thus, unmistakingly guilty you become. Didn’t they teach you anything at that Ivy League brainiac hole? Who's the dummy now? So, at best, to appear less loathsome and contemptible - and perhaps just a smidge more rational - either shut your cake holes entirely or offer up something of value so we can engage in civilized discourse.

The winds of change are blowing, the storm is gathering and you're drifting towards the Mariana Trench on a woefully cobbled together rudderless balsa wood raft with FEMA windbreakers, Bargain Mart life preservers and the erratic asphyxiating breath of Rachael Maddow filling your sails. Julius Caesar had a brighter future when on a mundane mid-March morning in 44 BC stated to his wife: “I should really go into the office today.” Happy Sailing!

One thing is for certain: If you don't recognize the sheer awesomeness and poetic whimsy of the newly christened Gulf of America, you’re definitely playing for the other team. You might want to keep that one to yourself….and get to packing.

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Margaret Anna Alice's avatar

“At a public health level,” the AI concluded, “prioritizing Vitamin D sufficiency could be as effective—or more effective—than flu vaccines while being far cheaper and universally beneficial.”

Wow, I didn’t realize ChatGPT was such a deadly disinformation superspreader! Don’t let the CDC see that, or it will be sent off to the reprogramming gulags.

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