If a girl waits until marriage to have sex and her husband waited too, neither is at risk of any sexually transmitted disease, no pap smears or gardasil needed.
People these days seem to think having sex is an uncontrollable urge. It’s not. “My body my choice” begins before sexual intimacy occurs.
If a girl waits until marriage to have sex and her husband waited too, neither is at risk of any sexually transmitted disease, no pap smears or gardasil needed.
People these days seem to think having sex is an uncontrollable urge. It’s not. “My body my choice” begins before sexual intimacy occurs.
I hear you, but that’s not the way the world is these days. According to my younger friends, people don’t even really date anymore. Just casual hook ups. Not saying this is right, but the human sex drive has been a problem for thousands of years. I applaud anyone who has those principles and sticks by them.
There is nothing wrong with the human sex drive. Every period in history has its flaws, and these days there is a serious problem in our culture with responsibility. If you suggest to someone that it might be healthier to eat real food instead of a hotdog, cheetos, and a coke for lunch, you’re “fat shaming”. If a teacher refuses to inflate grades for “students of color” they’re racist. If you remind a teenager that having sex can lead to having a baby or getting a disease, you’re called a prude.
In all times in history, making good decisions leads to good outcomes. Sorry if that offends you.
I was born in 63. People haven’t changed, culture has. But the fact still remains that sex is not an uncontrollable urge. It’s a choice. But people act like “Oops, I didn’t mean to have sex, it just happened and now I have this baby/disease/feeling of emptiness.” Actions have consequences, and that wasn’t just true in the 50s.
I think it's a better bet, given the level of sex shaming and suppression of knowledge. to raise your children to be responsible and loving and to understand the consequences of sex, with and without birth control.
and to understand the financial consequences, and the life path consequences of unprotected sex. and even better, save it til you are in a committed relationship with someone you TRUST.
wishing and hoping for a day when kids dont have sex seems to me like the silliest of the options.
“Suppression of knowledge” is a myth. Young people aren’t having sex outside of marriage because the adults in their lives didn’t educate them, but because the adults are saying “it’s fine - do what you want”.
If those adults would actually give them knowledge, along with wise counsel about how dangerous it is to engage in sex outside of “a committed relationship” - aka marriage, with all the social and legal protections that come with it for the couple and the children that will likely be the result - then young people would get married and then have sex.
I’m not “wishing and hoping for a day when kids don’t have sex”. To me, wishing and hoping for a day when kids can have sex with no undesirable consequences is a whole lot sillier.
Well put Bryn. This notion that, "they are going to do it anyways (not just sex out of marriage but any self-destructive behavior) so let's try and remove all consequences" has been the direct cause of just about every society ill of the past seventy five years. And as we've seen with the trans stuff, there's no end to it as the more things are destigmatized, the more we get. We now have people arguing it's somehow compassionate to help kids cut their genitals off. Slippery slope on steroids.
This is the basic social conservative/social liberal divide that at it's heart is about exercising self control. Those who exercise self control are more successful in life by almost every objective measure; marriage length, physical health, mental health, financial status, legal issues, children's success, etc. This is blindingly obvious to most rational people. Bad decisions destroy people's lives and those of the ones around them.
Bottom line though is that this is a spiritual issue. People who exercise self-control usually do so out of accountability to God. People who behave recklessly, or even worse encourage others to do so, usually believe that they are accountable to no one. This is such an obvious reality that it boggles my mind that people cannot see it.
You misunderstood me. I have no problem with the human sex drive. We wouldn’t exist without it. I personally do not think it is necessary to wait until marriage, but I would counsel A young person to be careful to understand the risks and responsibilities, and try to have an experience with someone that they truly love. With very good birth control. I do respect people whose religious values make them want to wait until marriage. Again, not my personal issue. Just pointing out that expecting everybody to wait is unrealistic.
So what did you mean, then, when you wrote “the human sex drive has been a problem for thousands of years”?
Counseling a young person to “try to have an experience with someone that they truly love” is the problem, because it is full of assumptions and ignores reality. You don’t have to have “religious values” to understand that that “experience” can and often does lead to a baby, and then what? What if that person you “truly love” doesn’t truly love you? Abortion? A marriage that begins with duress? Single motherhood? Adoption, which is lovely for the couple wanting a child, but full of heartache for the foolish girl following your bad advice?
And that’s just the pregnancy possibility, what about the STD that will likely follow you the rest of your life? And no one talks about the very real emptiness young people experience with casual hook-ups.
You don’t have to have “religious values” to look at this with eyes wide open and see that there just is no upside to sex outside of marriage, only risks. Responsibility is not religious. And the adults in the room need to wake up and start talking about this honestly, the whole thing, not just birth control and fantasy love.
Btw, both of my children were conceived while I was using birth control. Good thing I was happily married.
If a girl waits until marriage to have sex and her husband waited too, neither is at risk of any sexually transmitted disease, no pap smears or gardasil needed.
People these days seem to think having sex is an uncontrollable urge. It’s not. “My body my choice” begins before sexual intimacy occurs.
I hear you, but that’s not the way the world is these days. According to my younger friends, people don’t even really date anymore. Just casual hook ups. Not saying this is right, but the human sex drive has been a problem for thousands of years. I applaud anyone who has those principles and sticks by them.
These days? Yikes. Are we that decrepit now?
There is nothing wrong with the human sex drive. Every period in history has its flaws, and these days there is a serious problem in our culture with responsibility. If you suggest to someone that it might be healthier to eat real food instead of a hotdog, cheetos, and a coke for lunch, you’re “fat shaming”. If a teacher refuses to inflate grades for “students of color” they’re racist. If you remind a teenager that having sex can lead to having a baby or getting a disease, you’re called a prude.
In all times in history, making good decisions leads to good outcomes. Sorry if that offends you.
LOL> the 50s are calling you. Reality check
I was born in 63. People haven’t changed, culture has. But the fact still remains that sex is not an uncontrollable urge. It’s a choice. But people act like “Oops, I didn’t mean to have sex, it just happened and now I have this baby/disease/feeling of emptiness.” Actions have consequences, and that wasn’t just true in the 50s.
I think it's a better bet, given the level of sex shaming and suppression of knowledge. to raise your children to be responsible and loving and to understand the consequences of sex, with and without birth control.
and to understand the financial consequences, and the life path consequences of unprotected sex. and even better, save it til you are in a committed relationship with someone you TRUST.
wishing and hoping for a day when kids dont have sex seems to me like the silliest of the options.
but maybe that's just me.
“Suppression of knowledge” is a myth. Young people aren’t having sex outside of marriage because the adults in their lives didn’t educate them, but because the adults are saying “it’s fine - do what you want”.
If those adults would actually give them knowledge, along with wise counsel about how dangerous it is to engage in sex outside of “a committed relationship” - aka marriage, with all the social and legal protections that come with it for the couple and the children that will likely be the result - then young people would get married and then have sex.
I’m not “wishing and hoping for a day when kids don’t have sex”. To me, wishing and hoping for a day when kids can have sex with no undesirable consequences is a whole lot sillier.
Well put Bryn. This notion that, "they are going to do it anyways (not just sex out of marriage but any self-destructive behavior) so let's try and remove all consequences" has been the direct cause of just about every society ill of the past seventy five years. And as we've seen with the trans stuff, there's no end to it as the more things are destigmatized, the more we get. We now have people arguing it's somehow compassionate to help kids cut their genitals off. Slippery slope on steroids.
This is the basic social conservative/social liberal divide that at it's heart is about exercising self control. Those who exercise self control are more successful in life by almost every objective measure; marriage length, physical health, mental health, financial status, legal issues, children's success, etc. This is blindingly obvious to most rational people. Bad decisions destroy people's lives and those of the ones around them.
Bottom line though is that this is a spiritual issue. People who exercise self-control usually do so out of accountability to God. People who behave recklessly, or even worse encourage others to do so, usually believe that they are accountable to no one. This is such an obvious reality that it boggles my mind that people cannot see it.
Great comment Jeff C!
You misunderstood me. I have no problem with the human sex drive. We wouldn’t exist without it. I personally do not think it is necessary to wait until marriage, but I would counsel A young person to be careful to understand the risks and responsibilities, and try to have an experience with someone that they truly love. With very good birth control. I do respect people whose religious values make them want to wait until marriage. Again, not my personal issue. Just pointing out that expecting everybody to wait is unrealistic.
So what did you mean, then, when you wrote “the human sex drive has been a problem for thousands of years”?
Counseling a young person to “try to have an experience with someone that they truly love” is the problem, because it is full of assumptions and ignores reality. You don’t have to have “religious values” to understand that that “experience” can and often does lead to a baby, and then what? What if that person you “truly love” doesn’t truly love you? Abortion? A marriage that begins with duress? Single motherhood? Adoption, which is lovely for the couple wanting a child, but full of heartache for the foolish girl following your bad advice?
And that’s just the pregnancy possibility, what about the STD that will likely follow you the rest of your life? And no one talks about the very real emptiness young people experience with casual hook-ups.
You don’t have to have “religious values” to look at this with eyes wide open and see that there just is no upside to sex outside of marriage, only risks. Responsibility is not religious. And the adults in the room need to wake up and start talking about this honestly, the whole thing, not just birth control and fantasy love.
Btw, both of my children were conceived while I was using birth control. Good thing I was happily married.