☕️ Coffee & Covid ☙ Saturday, April 23, 2022 ☙ UNFLATTERING EMOJIS 🦠
Musk makes progress on buying Twitter; both jabmakers hire new CFO's; Israel finally ends masks; the CDC makes a permanent covid bureau; Mass. parents battle groomers; and more.
Happy Saturday, C&C! It’s a quick update today, because now I’m off to Jacksonville, having just spent an hour in the hotel lobby in Tallahassee chatting with Dr. McCullough about wide ranging topics including faith, family, Covid, his lawsuit, my lawsuit, Fauci, fitness, and — of course — jab science. With coffee. The good doctor has a brilliant mind and is one of the best public speakers you could ask for, possibly the most effective champion for drug safety of our generation. He’s done more to push back against mandates than any single other health professional, at great personal cost.
If I ever agree to another four-day speaking tour, somebody please stop me. I’m starting to feel like I’m trapped in a Johnny Cash song … “I’ve been everywhere, man, I’ve been everywhere…”
Jacksonville, here I come. Get ready.
🗞*COVID NEWS AND COMMENTARY* 🗞
🔥 Bloomberg reported yesterday that, in spite of poison pills, DOJ “investigations” and SEC threats, scrappy entrepreneur Elon Musk is still in the fight to buy Twitter, having made some solid progress this week. The financial mag’s article is headlined, “Musk Swayed Wall Street by Pitching His Vision for Twitter.”
According to the article, last weekend Musk’s financial team put on a Powerpoint for some of the biggest banks on Wall Street, like Morgan Stanley, explaining how Twitter’s business could be run better, and how the struggling social media company’s revenues could be improved. Details of Musk’s plan aren’t public, but we have some hints, including a tweet about his plans to authenticate Twitter users and, hilariously, stop paying Twitter’s fatcat board members.
Most of the banks who saw the presentation over Easter weekend signed commitment letters by Wednesday, after pulling several all-nighters analyzing the newly-disclosed information about Musk’s plans.
Even more entertaining news surfaced yesterday in the roiling waters of the Twitter acquisition financial tsunami. According to a short series of leaked text messages, Bill Gates had reached out to Musk and the two had a brief disagreement of sorts. Here’s what the text messages that we know about said, and I am not making this up:
GATES: Just landed.
MUSK: Cool. Do you still have a half billion-dollar short position against Tesla?
GATES: Sorry to say I haven’t closed it out. I would like to discuss philanthropy possibilities.
MUSK: Sorry, but I cannot take your philanthropy on climate change seriously when you have a massive short position against Tesla, the company doing the most to solve climate change.
Boom! Get stuffed, Gates, you hypocrite! And just to make sure Gates got the message, Musk then tweeted an unflattering pot-bellied, man-boobed picture of the tech billionaire, comparing him to Apple’s new “pregnant man” emoji.
Hahaha! For those of you who don’t follow the nuances, a “short position” is a public bet that a company will perform badly or even fail. Large outstanding short positions tend to depress a stock’s price just by existing, because they send signals to the market that people “in the know” must know something bad. Musk is rightly annoyed that Gates is betting so big and so publicly that Tesla will fail. Gates, for his part, is a pretty cheeky little bugger, pestering Musk for money for his ludicrous climate change plans while simultaneously betting against Musk’s electric car venture.
I vote we all use Apple's loopy new emoji for "Bill Gates." What do you think?
🔥 The Wall Street Journal ran an interesting article earlier this month headlined, “Vaccine Makers Pfizer, Moderna Hire New CFOs.” It’s curious timing that both Covid vaccine makers replaced their CFO’s at the same time, although it’s not easy to explain why apart from pure coincidence. The twitteratti speculated that the CFO’s must be ditching a sinking ship of jabs, but there isn’t any hard evidence for that beyond the timing. The Journal’s article explained how both companies are looking for new ways to invest all the covid cash they’ve skillfully siphoned out of taxpayers, like by buying up a bunch of smaller pharma companies, implying that the firms are seeking new CFO’s with experience in large-scale acquisitions.
I find it hard to imagine how Pfizer and Moderna getting bigger could be good for anybody, but that’s just me. Of course, I’m just a lawyer, not a scientist. Personally, I’d rather they just fill up some olympic-sized swimming pools with what used to be our cash and paddle around in them like Scrooge McDuck or something.
🔥 The Times of Israel reported yesterday that “After Two Years, Israel Scrapping Indoor Mask Mandate From Saturday Night.” The mideastern democracy will end its long-standing mask mandate as of May 1st. Israelis probably won’t know what to do, having worn the damnable things for over two years now.
The Times obliquely referenced the recent US decision striking down the CDC’s airplane mandate, suggesting that it might have had something to do with the change of policy in Israel. Maybe. Masking will still be mandatory in nearly-universally-jabbed Israel “at places with high contagion potential,” including hospitals, senior living facilities and airplanes. And, Israel is also still running “quarantine centers.”
🔥 Good news! You don’t need to worry anymore, because the CDC has formed a new, super-expensive permanent bureaucracy to help “predict” covid’s every move from here on out, forever and ever, amen. The Washington Post reported the story in an article headlined, “New CDC Team: A Weather Service to Forecast What’s Next in Pandemic.”
“We think of ourselves like the National Weather Service, but for infectious diseases,” said Caitlin Rivers, an epidemiologist and freshly-promoted associate director of the CDC’s crack new highly-motivated squad of expert operatives.
According to the CDC, ONE HUNDRED new scientists will analyze technical data and recommend policy options to decision-makers about how the virus is behaving and who is most at risk — in “user-friendly terms.” They want to dumb it down for us, because we’re too stupid to understand all the hard technical details and bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo.
I guess the problem all along has been our failure to understand whatever nonsense Fauci was spouting, and that there just weren’t enough people in the government working on covid, so OF COURSE we need a PERMANENT giant new bureaucracy to cement covid into the federal government forever. Just in time for the end of the pandemic, too. Brilliant! Science.
🔥 The New York Post reported late last week that some Massachusetts parents are fighting back, in an article headlined “Ludlow Public Schools Secretly Promoted Our Kids’ Gender Transition, Parents Allege.”
In the lawsuit, the parents said they asked their children’s middle school staff NOT to have any private conversations with their kids about gender issues. But the superintendent, the principal, the guidance counselor and two teachers ignored their request, even calling BOTH their daughter AND their son by bizarre pronouns and new names without the parents’ permission or even knowledge. In fact, school staff tried to hide what they were doing from the parents.
According the claims in the complaint, the parent’s 11-year old daughter sent what looks like a scripted email to school staff filled with gender jargon saying, “I am genderqueer. … My new name will be R**** … If you deadname me or use any pronouns I am uncomfortable with I will politely tell you … A list of pronouns you can use are: she/her he/him they/them fae/faerae/aer ve/ver xe/xem ze/zir. … Please only use the ones I have listed and not the other ones. I do not like them,” B.F. wrote, the parents said in court papers.
The other child, a 12-year-old boy, asked teachers and counselors to address him by a female name, “S.” and concealed those conversations from the parents.
I’m wondering, what are the odds of having TWO trans kids coming out at the same time? Seems unlikely to be organic. And that’s what these parents seem to think, too.
When asked by reporters, the children’s father explained “The term groomer is being used a lot today. Imagine what goes through any parent’s mind when you have some other adult talking to your kid about sexuality — and saying we’re going to hide this conversation from your parents.”
Indeed. What goes through this parent’s mind is, “grooming.”
Have a terrific weekend! I’ll see ya’ll back here on Monday, hopefully on our normal reliable Coffee & Covid schedule.
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