111 Comments

This is getting more ridiculous with each passing moment. This has predictably devolved into a convoluted dumpster fire of absurd incongruencies. They simply can’t keep up: “First of all, is anybody here from the Post Office or the CDC? …….Get out of here!... Fly. Be Free. The world is your oyster. Seee ya!……Okay, you remote workers stand in the corner, we’ll get to you. If you’re not going to be walking around menacing your co-workers, we certainly can’t have you being a threat to yourself.…….NEXT!.....Let’s see….John, you got 2 shots, both on a Friday….that should carry you through most of December. You’re allowed on buses, but not taxis….oh, and you have to wear a mask on buses, but not in the grocery stores….except in the restroom, including grocery store airplanes with restrooms. Movies are okay, but you have to stay under your seat. They’ll need to see your vaccine card, an abacus, and the most recent copy of Farmer’s Almanac, but only if it’s raining during a Star Wars marathon. Avoid Steak n’ Shake and potholes. All Florida Guide Books including, but not limited to, Home Buying and Apartment Guides and generally anything remotely uplifting are regarded as propaganda and will be confiscated. Where’s DeSantis activity books, nope…out!

Thanks to “Operation Dork Speed” your 9th booster should be available sometime before Christmas. Rest assured, after long term studies performed over the weekend, we can confirm that these boosters are both kinda safe and sort of effective, especially when injected during the Winter Solstice. The effectiveness spikes to damn near 2% in the vicinity of the ley lines of the Great Pyramid………that’s the big one.

By this time, if you’re still vertical, you should start to feel like absolute garbage and your kids might start playing connect-a-dot on your arm. Don’t be alarmed. This is perfectly normal. Think of it as quality family time. Now, if you skip this booster then you might as well kiss your pious, non-compliant ass goodbye because Omi”ConJob” - THE most deadly strain of sniffles on the planet - takes no white Christmas or dark winter prisoners. The great and powerful Brandon hath declared it so. Entropy, entropy we all fall down. Incidentally, females under 5’ 3'' will be covered longer than males over 6’ ¾”, but not quite as long as school age children with web toes born in August during a Crescent Moon.

Have a nice day, and stay Pfizer…uh safe.”

Expand full comment

Yep...been that way for almost 2 years

Expand full comment

"most recent copy of Farmer's Almanac" LOLOL

Expand full comment

You still crack me up! Thanks 😊

Expand full comment

Hilarious and much needed! Thanks!

Expand full comment

Hilarious!!!! 💕💕💕

Expand full comment

Pfizer Pfree?

Expand full comment
Dec 21, 2021Liked by Jeff Childers

This “cup” is particularly delicious. So many paradoxes in one post. Such wonderfully bitter irony and sarcasm

“Too bad we don’t have a well-funded government health agency that could study the connection.”

CDC is the medical equivalent of the post office. They couldnt get this right even if they wanted to . Its the nature of the organization. Mix politics and medicine and one gets politics

Expand full comment
Dec 21, 2021Liked by Jeff Childers

Speaking of the post office, I mailed a package 2 weeks ago 2 day air. Still hasn't arrived. I think it must have been put into a pile labeled "packages brought in by individuals not wearing masks who had to be reprimanded."

Expand full comment

Perhaps the Ivermectin-sniffing dog hasn't has a chance to check it out.

Expand full comment

I don't work for or support the history of the USPS, yet there are still hopeful employees who 'ain't havin' the narrative' or telling anyone elese what they should be doing. I haven't worn a mask in our post office in WA since puppet Inslee, Gate's finger mandate mouth, rescinded masks early summer. No one cares. Postal workers chose to cover their face or NOT and no one cares. Civilians don't care. One prevents oxygen from entering their lungs by wearing one or NOT. The nots are still low, but no one is rude or distances oneself from me. I just smile as happily as I can. In a Costco pharmacy line, a man sees me without a mask and says I agree with you, we know what's going on. I reply, yes, we do. You can make a statement of patriotism (he was an obvious veteran) any time you choose. My health is between my doctor and myself and no politician will infringe on freedoms earned by so many. He smiled and nodded. I believe he slept on that with critical thinking in tact!

Expand full comment

I have gone cold turkey on all the propaganda put out by the alphabet news. Chris Christie on Fox last night, “This is an epidemic of the unjabbed, but the hysteria over mandates fostered by the President is unconscionable. Get jabbed and keep the hospitals clear because the jab won’t keep you from getting *C, but you won’t DIE! Omicron is spreading faster than the BS we are shoveling, but if you get jabbed, you will live! No mandates though!” Virtually every GOP politician has the exact same line. And the hospitalization stats from every blue state mimic each other. As do the sad doctor stories from every hospital system. But no talk of natural immunity, ivermectin, HCQ, unjabbed Congress or postal workers and everyone’s rights trampled. Law suits are the way things will change in many blue states and I know from a cousin lawyer in a law firm here, they have been warned take no cases regarding *C in any shape or form. Do not even discuss it or you WILL be disbarred.

Expand full comment

They censored the front line docs, censored clinical data that didn't support the narrative and those who posted and spoke of the data, fired HC workers and whined about the shortage of same, and now hear threatening attorneys for taking cases. They've been busy for several decades, but I think this is a socio-economic and class 'war'. Any other issues are distractions so that we don't get within 6 ft and talk amongst ourselves.

Expand full comment

Seriously??

Expand full comment

100%. They can't even keep up with their own lies. I am feeling conflicted as my anger morphs into a strange kind of pleasure at watching this bad dystopian dark comedy unravel.

Expand full comment

MiFlyjust now

Ive tried very hard to not allow myself to feel schadenfreud. I've worked to cultivate an attitude of understanding, compassion and love. I still definitely have boundaries however. No vax for me right now. And no firearms confiscation. No vaxxed for my kids; I will withdraw them from the school system if need be. Remember back in the Fall of 2020 when Georgia and Florida started opening up again and these fanatic psychotic people where gleefully predicting mass death. There was this article , I think it was in the Wash post, that said Georgia would be an experiment in human sacrifice. Fauci was livid. Oh there's going to be trouble. He said. nothing happened. They've been wrong so much and so profoundly. Yet people still listen out of fear and ignorance and laziness. You can only get so far blaming other people. It starts to rot your heart. Im in the process of removing myself from this whole situation. I've been profoundly disappointed in my colleagues ( im a med doc ) my neighbors. I've lost some friends over this whole this. Im saddened by the state of my culture. I hoped that we all had more courage and intelligence than this. but apparently not.

Expand full comment

That is wise of you to do for self-protection. I keep my schadenfreud to myself while I work on advocacy and organizing events in my state. I cope with the horribleness by volunteering all of my time to fighting this madness. But some days I wonder what a toll it is taking on my body (I feel my heart beat rapidly with every negative development - just listening to Biden yesterday for just a few minutes caused by heart rate to soar over 120) and my emotional health. I am beginning to really hate people, and not just the ones pushing this, but all of the ones who are willfully blind. Maybe one day I will step away from this also and cut off all forms of media. I think the Amish got it right.

Expand full comment

Yes. Definitely stressful. I bought a “faraday” bag which is a sleeve that i put my i phone in so even if it off it is totally cut off from any signal. We must practice self care and build communities of like minded people. Im grateful for all of u here in this thread. I dedicate today to u all

Expand full comment

While it's long been a police State spying platform (not going back to Ben Franklin - but certainly going back as far as J. Edgar Hoover), the Post Office USED TO work pretty well in this country. For a few ¢ents you could send a letter anywhere in the country - even places that weren't profitable to send things. It was only because of a deliberate campaign from the 'free market'-privateering-gospel church's evangelists, and a completely unique, Congressionally-mandated requirement - that the Post Office fund the pensions of the currently unborn letter carriers, of tommorow - like say - 72 years into the future - (thank you Paul Ryan) - that 'Postal Service' now completely sucks. Dismantling something that works well enough without your interventions, is an ideological crusade, not a public policy measure.

Just sayin'... Maybe if the people who worked there, weren't so unionized, or so disproportionately 'urban'-looking, the Koch-suckers could have just let it be.

Expand full comment

Masks don't work because you can still see the TV

Expand full comment

"CNN’s obnoxious TV doc Leanna Wen, who never saw a mandate she didn’t want to marry and have a family with....." LOL!!! That turned me into a coffee spewing machine. Thanks, I needed that.

Expand full comment

Me too! Best line ever.

Expand full comment

Yeah she is the worst and you called it, there. But can we please get her message to Gavin, so he rescinds his Face Suffocator mandate? Since he wouldn't listen to the oh scores of studies that prove masks = theater and only theater? Please....

Expand full comment

I am so grateful to have found this blog. It's the first thing I read every morning, and I have shared it to so many friends. I live in the communistic state of New Mexico, with a crazy governor and thank god we live in the northern mountains and not in a big city. This blog gives me HOPE. That if I hang in there long enough, things will start making sense again. My husband and I are not vaxxed and don't intend to get vaxxed, but even so, at times we are made to feel like second class citizens when we are actually SUPER involved in our community and my husband is a first responder. THANK YOU, thank you, thank you, Jeff Childers, for this ray of hope you provide!

Expand full comment

The unjabbed are generally wonderful people!😉

Expand full comment
Dec 21, 2021Liked by Jeff Childers

Re "Cloth masks are little more than facial decorations." Geez, will Nancy and rest of the politicians, celebrities, & 15-minute famers stop acquiring and wearing the dozens of wardrobe-coordinating accessories they have worn to virtue signal how to make the best of the situation they've imposed? Bunch of jerks who are so out of touch with the majority of citizens in this nation.

Expand full comment

THAT is what I called a mask when I wore one. I’d say to my husband, ‘Don’t forget your VSD!’ (Virtue Signaling Device)

Expand full comment
Dec 21, 2021Liked by Jeff Childers

Megatron an Optimus Primus are the next variants beware!! These will be disguised as an electric chevy prius.

Expand full comment

Heard a good one today that fits perfectly with BioNTech CEO Ugur Sahin's comment.

What do the vaccinated and unvaccinated have in common? They both will never be fully vaccinated.

Expand full comment
Dec 21, 2021·edited Dec 21, 2021

Not only is it funny, it's also true!

Expand full comment

Jeff, I love each post you put out. It is very thorough and gives me a good understanding of what’s going on. I am a free subscription currently but considered paying. Problem is I can’t afford $50 per month, but I’m willing to give what I can to help. Any consideration to a pay what you can type subscription? I’m not sure if substack allows that.

Expand full comment

You could sign up for the monthly subscription, then cancel after the first payment.

Expand full comment

Jeff, I just wanted to thank you for your time in putting these news updates together every day. I look forward to reading each morning!

Expand full comment

I love drinking my coffee and reading your stuff. As a nurse from Ascension that you defended, thank you! <33

Expand full comment

I can’t say it enough how I enjoy this post everyday !! I get more information here and from the subscribers than any other source!! Yesterday however, Boston Chinese Communist enacted a new mandate stating all indoor restaurants and gyms ect will require a vaccine card to get in.. starting Jan 15 - I guess that means I’m never giving my money to any business in Boston again.. Sorry small business and large business owners- I have already sent letters to both the governor and the mayor and called them and left messages with their so-called assistants Who didn’t even take my number down or my name! I guess that just means that they put it in the trash because they don’t care what the people think about their illegal actions against the people!!

They must forget that Massachusetts was the state that had the flags don’t tread on me and actually won a revolutionary war against British tyranny!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

The sons and daughters of liberty are now rising up in these states and are prepared to fight all forces!!!! ⚔️🛡⚔️🛡⚔️

Expand full comment

I did the same things today too. I actually lost it and cried on the phone with the Mayor's office in between telling them how tyrannical they are.. This state is INSANE. And my neighbors are all in on the tyranny. Maskies outside walking on conservation land in the fresh air....it is so disheartening. But this C&C Substack makes me smile for awhile. It is better than crying.

Expand full comment

Hang in there. Your voice is heard and this is a place to find common ground and support.

Expand full comment

Thank You. I appreciate your kind words.

Expand full comment

We fly the same flag in WA. And have a tyrrant as governor. Gate's mouth to the people. Wear masks, (breathe unclean carbon dioxide and bacteria, depress your immune system), vaccinate. Our second amendment rights are prepared to defend and fight for freedom for our children's children! Our Constitution is alive and well!

Expand full comment

I love this newsletter.

Expand full comment

Thank you for this amazingly witty and informative newsletter . I get excited to read it and always puts a smile on my face during these crazy times in the world!!

Expand full comment

Fauci is not a doctor. Nor a scientist

He is a scared old man who's last exposure to something called "risk" was probably sometime in the 1980s.

He is the covid-jailer-in-chief.

2024 or the inevitable, it can't come quickly enough

Expand full comment

Airliners are notorious for inflicting oxygen deprivation on unwitting passengers. At cruise altitude the cabin pressure is equal about 7 to 8 thousand feet but flight attendants never warn passengers about this mandated "disability"... Forcing passengers to wear a mask in rarified air is asking for a lawsuit dontcha think?

Expand full comment