“Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.” —Victor Borge
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'
At a party, a woman admonished her husband, saying, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” He shrugged and answered, “Why should it? I keep telling them it’s for you.”
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please.”
My wife just nudged me and said, "you weren't even listening, were you?".
I thought, 'that's a strange way to start a conversation'.
---
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher..
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.
"See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis Bull...
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety.
The officer is clearly terrified.
The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs...
"Your badge... SHOW him your badge!"
---
An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone.
"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".
"It's worse than that", he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"
----
A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here.
Put up your hand if you are the laziest."
24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man "why didn't you raise your hand?"
The man replied: "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge."
---
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years.
He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak.
His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail.
He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father."
The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed"
At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.
A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here.
I love you, Ahmed."
---
Children marvel.
A blade of grass is a miracle. Rain is a blessing.
They receive the world. They don’t try to own or analyze it.
We adults become too clever for wonder. Too proud for mystery.
Modern man can't see God because he doesn't look low enough. - Carl Jung
Yesterday afternoon, setting out my onion seedlings, I had to dig up the Sambucus nigra I had put there last spring, to grow from a bitty little thing to a "safe" size. Had the dickens of a time freeing it from the soil. Turns out, the roots--I measured them--had grown straight down --so no compaction, which would make them grow sideways-- and grown straight down TWENTY FOUR inches. I was in wonder. Absolute wonder. This is the 38th garden year on this soil.
Well, actually, have for perhaps 37 years--as I put in two cultivars of Sambucus Canadensis when we first were gardening here. Used them chiefly for wine. Tend to make elderflower champagne (like a barely alcoholic fizzy lemony drink). And put in more cultivars 3 years ago. Made elderberry syrup and liqueur in '23. Last spring, getting hold of the European Nigra was a new opportunity. I've moved to thinking that if a plant doesn't provide food, I don't want to give it yard room.
Guys, here is a lengthy but what I found to be quite a keen analogy for our current predicament. It was posted by Edwins Newletter #1. The first 2/3rds are copied here, with the conclusion linked back to Edwin's substack. If this rings some bells with you and you're feeling a bit generous, rather than giving a thumbs up to this comment, I was hoping you could please save it for Edwin's article in order to show him some support and encouragement =)
Depopulation: A Space Odyssey
By J.B. Shurk
Imagine being onboard a giant space vessel traveling through the galaxy in the distant future. You are part of a multi-generational mission meant to colonize another planetary system. The spacecraft you are on is enormous and can support a city-state of human travelers for thousands of years. Then, one day, a member of the captain’s privy council comes to a startling conclusion: at the current rate of the vessel’s population growth, human requirements will exceed resources in a few hundred years.
The captain gathers his trusted advisers in secret to discuss the dilemma. One side is not worried at all. Scientists from this coalition point out that before the ship departed, Earth engineers fully expected future inhabitants to continue innovating and improving the vessel’s capabilities. An agricultural adviser explains that the ship has exponentially increased its food production in the last few generations alone. Speaking to this point, the original doomsayer stands and says, “That’s just the problem. The more food we produce, the healthier our people become. The healthier they become, the more children they have. And the more children they have, the faster we will run out of resources in the future!”
The doomsayer proceeds to paint a picture of the future in which the spaceship is severely overcrowded, and the space travelers are forced to fight for clean air, water, and food. “When such a time arrives,” the doomsayer insists, “there will be riots, famine, and war. There will be revolution. Desperate people will rebel against the ship’s government and hang the privy council!”
“What’s your solution?” another council member asks.
“Depopulation,” the doomsayer answers dispassionately. “We must begin to cull those passengers who offer no benefit to our mission or future survival.”
Many in the gathering are shocked. They demand that nothing so drastic be considered until the whole ship has had a chance to vote. “Are you mad?” the doomsayer snaps. “The people will never vote for their own elimination. And if they did, we’d be the first ones they’d eliminate. No, we must do this in secret — for the passengers’ own good!”
At this point in the animated discussion, a priest stands in opposition. “Fellow members of the privy council, I cannot believe what I’m hearing today. We are not here to destroy human life. We are here to foster human life across the galaxy. We cannot play God. We must pray, seek the Almighty’s guidance, and use the gifts that He has given us to find solutions that safeguard our future. If we start killing others to save ourselves, we betray our ultimate mission as human beings.”
In anger, the doomsayer points an accusatory finger at the priest and shouts, “Don’t tell us about your imaginary God, sir. You are a charlatan, and your Bible is nothing but an opiate for the masses. You are meant to keep the passengers docile, peaceful, and relatively happy. You know nothing of science, and you can save no one with your thoughts and prayers.”
The priest begins to answer, but the doomsayer’s friends shout him down and threaten his removal. “Continue ignoring science and pushing God, sir, and we will begin our depopulation efforts with you.” Silence and fear permeate the room.
The ship’s captain clears his throat and asks the doomsayer what he has in mind. “We need to act on the margins,” the doomsayer responds. “We need to manipulate the spacecraft in subtle ways, so that fewer people are born and more people die suddenly. But we need to make it impossible for passengers to discern what is happening to them.”
The doomsayer, having clearly thought about his plans for human culling in great detail, begins to unveil elaborate proposals for social engineering on a massive scale. There are four main parts, he says. We must (1) destroy the family, (2) keep passengers at war with one another, (3) eliminate uncontrolled innovation by strictly controlling education, and (4) develop the tenets of a “new religion” that elevates the worship of the spaceship above all else.
Women, the doomsayer contends, must be provoked to resent their role in the family. They should see motherhood as a burden, something that distracts them from career success and ship-wide recognition. Being a mother and wife should be scorned as something ugly and outdated. Female passengers should be reminded that there is a secret conspiracy among men — let’s call it the “patriarchy” — that exists to subjugate them.
Furthermore, the doomsayer argues, we should encourage promiscuity and abortion. Loving families produce children. Sexually adventurous singles do not. There’s no reason to stop with women, either. It would be good if we can convince men to see marriage as a form of imprisonment. It would be great if we can convince everyone to doubt the science behind biological sex. What better way to slow population growth than to so confuse passengers about sexual reality that they are too busy experimenting with strange fetishes to get married and have kids?
Next, the doomsayer continues, we must pit the passengers against one another. We must divide them by race, ethnicity, and religion. We must establish new political parties that create tribal loyalties and exacerbate meaningless distinctions. We must keep passengers suspicious of one another and constantly at each other’s throats. We should make some groups’ living quarters too small and hot and blame those conditions on others. We should starve one group and overfeed another. We should maximize resentments and ossify hatreds. Then we should step back when war breaks out and let the passengers “depopulate” themselves.
There is overwhelming evidence to suggest that the global population numbers are nothing but lies, deception, and fabrications. It is highly unlikely that there are 8 billion people on this planet: https://old.bitchute.com/video/Q0KHQdiHkXcC [6:17mins]
According to the UN India has 1.4 billion people. The top 300 cities have a combined population of 200 million, that leaves 1.2 billion scattered around the rest of the countryside?
More likely: The eight billion figure is merely yet another cage, making us think that population is a problem in order to get us to funnel the remainder of our freedoms, wealth, property, & happiness to the top .01%.
I don't ever want to be an adult. Adults wear those boring clothes. I want to keep wearing beautiful and happy clothes, with colors. Adults lose their happiness. And they don't want to play. I don't want to stop playing. I want to keep my heart. And they think they can only give gifts on birthdays and Christmas, but I give gifts all of the time. I give people compliments, and I can make people happy. And adults stop singing, but I sing my song. And I don't want to lose my heart. I want to stay a kid forever. And they think you have to spend all of your time learning things and I don't want to forget who I am. And they think you have to pray with the right words in the right way, but the real prayer is in your heart and it's praying all of the time. I don't want to lose my heart.
I swear I'm not the adult that she speaks of! LOL!
“Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.” —Victor Borge
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'
At a party, a woman admonished her husband, saying, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” He shrugged and answered, “Why should it? I keep telling them it’s for you.”
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please.”
My wife just nudged me and said, "you weren't even listening, were you?".
I thought, 'that's a strange way to start a conversation'.
---
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher..
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.
"See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis Bull...
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety.
The officer is clearly terrified.
The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs...
"Your badge... SHOW him your badge!"
---
An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone.
"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".
"It's worse than that", he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"
----
A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here.
Put up your hand if you are the laziest."
24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man "why didn't you raise your hand?"
The man replied: "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge."
---
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years.
He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak.
His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail.
He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father."
The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed"
At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.
A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here.
I love you, Ahmed."
---
Children marvel.
A blade of grass is a miracle. Rain is a blessing.
They receive the world. They don’t try to own or analyze it.
We adults become too clever for wonder. Too proud for mystery.
Modern man can't see God because he doesn't look low enough. - Carl Jung
Love the "show them your badge!" Such a wise old rancher and such a good illustration of the illusion of power :-)
Yesterday afternoon, setting out my onion seedlings, I had to dig up the Sambucus nigra I had put there last spring, to grow from a bitty little thing to a "safe" size. Had the dickens of a time freeing it from the soil. Turns out, the roots--I measured them--had grown straight down --so no compaction, which would make them grow sideways-- and grown straight down TWENTY FOUR inches. I was in wonder. Absolute wonder. This is the 38th garden year on this soil.
Let us know when you start harvesting your own elderberries.
Well, actually, have for perhaps 37 years--as I put in two cultivars of Sambucus Canadensis when we first were gardening here. Used them chiefly for wine. Tend to make elderflower champagne (like a barely alcoholic fizzy lemony drink). And put in more cultivars 3 years ago. Made elderberry syrup and liqueur in '23. Last spring, getting hold of the European Nigra was a new opportunity. I've moved to thinking that if a plant doesn't provide food, I don't want to give it yard room.
Guys, here is a lengthy but what I found to be quite a keen analogy for our current predicament. It was posted by Edwins Newletter #1. The first 2/3rds are copied here, with the conclusion linked back to Edwin's substack. If this rings some bells with you and you're feeling a bit generous, rather than giving a thumbs up to this comment, I was hoping you could please save it for Edwin's article in order to show him some support and encouragement =)
Depopulation: A Space Odyssey
By J.B. Shurk
Imagine being onboard a giant space vessel traveling through the galaxy in the distant future. You are part of a multi-generational mission meant to colonize another planetary system. The spacecraft you are on is enormous and can support a city-state of human travelers for thousands of years. Then, one day, a member of the captain’s privy council comes to a startling conclusion: at the current rate of the vessel’s population growth, human requirements will exceed resources in a few hundred years.
The captain gathers his trusted advisers in secret to discuss the dilemma. One side is not worried at all. Scientists from this coalition point out that before the ship departed, Earth engineers fully expected future inhabitants to continue innovating and improving the vessel’s capabilities. An agricultural adviser explains that the ship has exponentially increased its food production in the last few generations alone. Speaking to this point, the original doomsayer stands and says, “That’s just the problem. The more food we produce, the healthier our people become. The healthier they become, the more children they have. And the more children they have, the faster we will run out of resources in the future!”
The doomsayer proceeds to paint a picture of the future in which the spaceship is severely overcrowded, and the space travelers are forced to fight for clean air, water, and food. “When such a time arrives,” the doomsayer insists, “there will be riots, famine, and war. There will be revolution. Desperate people will rebel against the ship’s government and hang the privy council!”
“What’s your solution?” another council member asks.
“Depopulation,” the doomsayer answers dispassionately. “We must begin to cull those passengers who offer no benefit to our mission or future survival.”
Many in the gathering are shocked. They demand that nothing so drastic be considered until the whole ship has had a chance to vote. “Are you mad?” the doomsayer snaps. “The people will never vote for their own elimination. And if they did, we’d be the first ones they’d eliminate. No, we must do this in secret — for the passengers’ own good!”
At this point in the animated discussion, a priest stands in opposition. “Fellow members of the privy council, I cannot believe what I’m hearing today. We are not here to destroy human life. We are here to foster human life across the galaxy. We cannot play God. We must pray, seek the Almighty’s guidance, and use the gifts that He has given us to find solutions that safeguard our future. If we start killing others to save ourselves, we betray our ultimate mission as human beings.”
In anger, the doomsayer points an accusatory finger at the priest and shouts, “Don’t tell us about your imaginary God, sir. You are a charlatan, and your Bible is nothing but an opiate for the masses. You are meant to keep the passengers docile, peaceful, and relatively happy. You know nothing of science, and you can save no one with your thoughts and prayers.”
The priest begins to answer, but the doomsayer’s friends shout him down and threaten his removal. “Continue ignoring science and pushing God, sir, and we will begin our depopulation efforts with you.” Silence and fear permeate the room.
The ship’s captain clears his throat and asks the doomsayer what he has in mind. “We need to act on the margins,” the doomsayer responds. “We need to manipulate the spacecraft in subtle ways, so that fewer people are born and more people die suddenly. But we need to make it impossible for passengers to discern what is happening to them.”
The doomsayer, having clearly thought about his plans for human culling in great detail, begins to unveil elaborate proposals for social engineering on a massive scale. There are four main parts, he says. We must (1) destroy the family, (2) keep passengers at war with one another, (3) eliminate uncontrolled innovation by strictly controlling education, and (4) develop the tenets of a “new religion” that elevates the worship of the spaceship above all else.
Women, the doomsayer contends, must be provoked to resent their role in the family. They should see motherhood as a burden, something that distracts them from career success and ship-wide recognition. Being a mother and wife should be scorned as something ugly and outdated. Female passengers should be reminded that there is a secret conspiracy among men — let’s call it the “patriarchy” — that exists to subjugate them.
Furthermore, the doomsayer argues, we should encourage promiscuity and abortion. Loving families produce children. Sexually adventurous singles do not. There’s no reason to stop with women, either. It would be good if we can convince men to see marriage as a form of imprisonment. It would be great if we can convince everyone to doubt the science behind biological sex. What better way to slow population growth than to so confuse passengers about sexual reality that they are too busy experimenting with strange fetishes to get married and have kids?
Next, the doomsayer continues, we must pit the passengers against one another. We must divide them by race, ethnicity, and religion. We must establish new political parties that create tribal loyalties and exacerbate meaningless distinctions. We must keep passengers suspicious of one another and constantly at each other’s throats. We should make some groups’ living quarters too small and hot and blame those conditions on others. We should starve one group and overfeed another. We should maximize resentments and ossify hatreds. Then we should step back when war breaks out and let the passengers “depopulate” themselves.
Concluded here: https://edwin797.substack.com/p/depopulation-a-space-odyssey
The problem with the above:
There is overwhelming evidence to suggest that the global population numbers are nothing but lies, deception, and fabrications. It is highly unlikely that there are 8 billion people on this planet: https://old.bitchute.com/video/Q0KHQdiHkXcC [6:17mins]
According to the UN India has 1.4 billion people. The top 300 cities have a combined population of 200 million, that leaves 1.2 billion scattered around the rest of the countryside?
More likely: The eight billion figure is merely yet another cage, making us think that population is a problem in order to get us to funnel the remainder of our freedoms, wealth, property, & happiness to the top .01%.
TT... well you just pulled me up short! I never even thought about that and yet........
Ever flown over, say, the United States and looked out the window, Phil?
(It's mostly empty)
Wow, just wow!
Thank you Tri Torch! Great stack from Edwin
Thanks Teresa!
I sub to Edwin's newsletter, and wonder who exactly is J.B. Shurk. He/she is a damn sharp writer.
My 7 year old was pillow talking at bed time:
I don't ever want to be an adult. Adults wear those boring clothes. I want to keep wearing beautiful and happy clothes, with colors. Adults lose their happiness. And they don't want to play. I don't want to stop playing. I want to keep my heart. And they think they can only give gifts on birthdays and Christmas, but I give gifts all of the time. I give people compliments, and I can make people happy. And adults stop singing, but I sing my song. And I don't want to lose my heart. I want to stay a kid forever. And they think you have to spend all of your time learning things and I don't want to forget who I am. And they think you have to pray with the right words in the right way, but the real prayer is in your heart and it's praying all of the time. I don't want to lose my heart.
I swear I'm not the adult that she speaks of! LOL!
Runemasque: your 7 yr old is wise beyond those years. Bless you for sharing!❤️
Thank you. I needed to laugh today.
Tritorch, thank you so much for the delight of all of these. Sending to husband who loves to share jokes with me.
Thanks Via =)
Awesome, I needed that
Thanks, i needed that.
😂
Love the story about the bull! Laughed out loud! Thank you
Five beers!