☕️ DIRECTOR SQUIRREL FINDS A NUT ☙ Saturday, July 27, 2024 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

Paris's blasphemous Olympic opening shocks social media; sudden FBI reversal on bullet investigation; Kennedy censorship lawsuit makes progress; yesterday's funniest Kamala clip; and more.

Good morning, C&C, it’s Saturday! And that means it’s time for the weekend edition roundup of essential news and snarky commentary: France tries to immanentize the eschaton or something with revolting opening ceremonies that caused Amazon to run out of eye bleach in ten minutes; even a blind federal bureau of investigations can occasionally find an acorn, and it did yesterday; Kennedy case offers unexpected hope for resurrection of Missouri v. Biden injunction; and the latest entertaining Harris meme, although we are losing count.

Note that your author must appear for a high-profile client in New York Federal Court first thing on Monday morning, so the next roundup might be short, but it will be sweet. I promise I’ll get something out to you guys.

🗞💬 WORLD NEWS AND COMMENTARY 💬🗞

🔥🔥 Fox News ran a story completely ignored by corporate media yesterday headlined, “Olympics opening ceremony sparks outrage with drag queens parodying Last Supper: 'Gone completely woke’.” It quoted Twitter’s owner in the subheadline, “'This was extremely disrespectful to Christians,' Elon Musk wrote.”

They should rename the international sporting competition The Surrealist Games.

Where is Saturday Night Live’s Church Lady when you need her? In social media’s biggest story yesterday, mentioned nowhere in the New York Times, Washington Post, or Politico, the organizers of the XXXIII (33rd) Summer Olympics did their very best imitation of Sodom and Gomorrha, highlighting multiple multimedia spectacular set pieces involving large numbers of unattractive cross-dressers reproducing famous religious imagery and performing interpretive dance routines that looked like a group of inexperienced campers being attacked by a giant cloud of mosquitos.

The avante-garde spectacle was, presumably, intended to riffle the feathers of the world’s 2.4 billion Christians, but it backfired. Instead, it seems to have had the unintended effect of exciting mature believers who raced to check off new squares on their Last Days Bingo cards (“Ooh! B-36! That one’s going right into the winepress of wrath.”). For example:

The program’s patriotic theme was "Liberté, égalité, absurdité,” and it landed with a resounding faux pas. Even some atheists were shaking their heads, asking je ne sais quoi the heck?:

Another Elon tweet neatly summed up most people’s bewilderment at the french … sense of humor? Edge lording? Tolerance and diversité? Cheesiness? Anyway, whatever it was, it made everyone feel like it was intended to provoke God into pulling the plug on the whole experiment:

Practically begging for a lightning bolt, and auditioning for cameo appearances in Hades, the Olympic Committee rounded up every bearded tranvestite in Paris and liberally deployed makeup in gallon-sized cartons. The opening ceremony’s ‘centerpiece’, if you can call it that, was a living replica of the Last Supper, except featuring poorly-passing, overweight men (and one child, of course) dressed in gayly decorated, over-the-top drag costumes, in a blasphemous facsimile of the Creator of the Universe and his twelve disciples.

The ‘Drag Last Supper’ was only one of several trans-abled segments in an overlong, painfully dull series of performances. Attendees weathered things like fun, modern takes on the French Revolution, a singing, beheaded Marie Antoinette in drag, sordid Gallic themes like the ever-popular ménages à trois. At one point, an apocalyptic metallic horse galloped across the Seine on rails at the exciting pace of an escargot race.

Bearded mimes dressed as gals twerked and cavorted to bizarre electronic music, moving just like electrified frogs in a high-school science experiment, and generally made asses of themselves.

Judging purely by appearances (forgive me), none of these performers had any chance of competing in the Drag Queen 5K’s walking division, much less the Olympics. They appeared (again, sorry) to be best qualified to participate in any event ending with the words “eating contest.” Until very recently, the Olympics used to celebrate peak human performance and althetic ability, but in this 33rd year, they more resembled an amateur LGBTQIAA++ fashion show.

Even the Atlantic seemed unimpressed. “This Was the Best Opening Ceremony Paris Could Give Us?”, its headline asked.

Other corporate media breathlessly covered the least controversial parts of the opening ceremony, which got rained on. I wondered whether reporters’ studious avoidance of the transgender segments confirmed that corporate media knows full well what a repellent eyesore it all was. But I may be overly hopeful in that particular.

Polish-British novelist Joseph Conrad once observed that a man can be judged by the quality of his enemies. Well, Christians, there you go.

🔥 I guess the merciless mocking worked. Yesterday, Politico ran a story headlined, “FBI says Trump was indeed struck by bullet during assassination attempt.” The sub-headline added, “The agency’s one-sentence statement was the most definitive law enforcement account of the injuries and followed earlier, ambiguous comments from Director Christopher Wray.”

Ambiguous was one way of putting it. At his Congressional testimony on Wednesday, myopic FBI Director Chris Wray shocked House Republicans when he testified, “There’s some question about whether or not it’s a bullet or shrapnel that hit his ear.” Whether or not it was a bullet. “Or not.” It could have been Rocky the Flying Squirrel.

Yesterday, everyone —including your humble author— heaped scorn and derision on the reputationally impaired law enforcement agency, whose dwindling credibility was plummeting faster than a regular, non-flying squirrel without a parachute.

In the latest twist, yesterday the bushy-tailed bureaucracy released a rare, one-sentence statement admitting that, “What struck former President Trump in the ear was a bullet, whether whole or fragmented into smaller pieces, fired from the deceased subject’s rifle.”

President Trump graciously accepted the FBI’s statement as an apology.

While the FBI’s squirrelly about-face is nearly miraculous, the real miracle remains that someone (or someones) fired eight times at President Trump with a clear line of sight, and it all missed.

🔥🔥 Speaking of squirrels and other small mammals, Prime Minister Netanyahu has been a busy beaver the last couple of days. On Thursday, he met with President Groundhog down in his hole behind closed doors. Later in the day —the delay explained by a ‘campaign appearance’— Mr. Netanyahu met separately with Vice President Cackle, who was described by corporate media as bold and leaderlike. And bold. ABC ran the story headlined, “Harris pushes cease-fire after Netanyahu meets with her, Biden separately.”

In statements following the meeting, Harris confirmed the U.S.’s continued support for its Middle Eastern ally, but also condemned the war in Gaza and called for an immediate cease-fire until after the election.

Then yesterday, Politico ran a related story headlined, “Netanyahu wraps US visit with a meeting to woo Trump.” (Axios: “Trump and Netanyahu bury the hatchet.”)

The last time Netanyahu met Trump was at the White House in September 2020, at the signing ceremony of the historic Abraham Accords, which were brokered by Trump. But their relationship soured in early 2021 after Netanyahu publicly cozied up to Joe Biden right after the disastrous election, becoming the first foreign leader to congratulate President Cabbage on his victory by mail-in ballot.

According to the Trump campaign’s readout of yesterday’s meeting at Mar-a-Lago, the former President told Netanyahu that, should Trump return to the White House, he “will make every effort to bring peace to the Middle East.” Notably, the readout did not mention any commitment to continued aid for Israel — a commitment described as Netanyahu’s main goal for the meeting.

In an interview after the meeting with Netanyahu, Trump told reporters that V.P. Harris was “disrespectful toward Israel,” adding, “I actually don’t know how a person who’s Jewish can vote for her, but that’s up to them.”

👨‍⚖️👨‍⚖️ Good news. Robert Kennedy’s anti-censorship case appears to have legs. You’ll recall the Missouri v. Biden case, in which the Supreme Court this month found the plaintiffs lacked standing to stop the federal government from bullying social media into censoring Americans, because none of them proved they’d been “directly affected” by the government’s indirect efforts to censor them. The Supreme Court thus reversed the Fifth Circuit’s injunction, delighting corporate media, for some reason, whose own neck is scheduled next on the censorial chopping block.

This week, the Fifth Circuit considered Robert Kennedy, Jr.’s separate but identical injunction request, and found that, unlike the Missouri plaintiffs, Kennedy’s case might actually support standing under the Supreme Court’s new, more demanding rule. Kenedy has evidence the Biden Administration directly intervened to censor the independent presidential candidate.

The appellate judges returned the case back to the original district court for an evidentiary hearing within 30 days to figure out whether Kennedy does have standing.  If the court finds Kennedy does, the original injunction will, Lazarus-like, suddenly spring back to life, closing down again on the government’s meddling in America’s speech.

Robert Kennedy, Jr. is turning out to be one of the most unexpected blessings of the exciting, made-for-television 2024 season.

🔥🔥 One suspects that, at least until her expiration date comes around, the presumptive Democrat nominee will continue, in a bold and leaderlike fashion, to serve as the wellspring for endless entertainment. Enjoy this Harris Campaign Ad (parody):

CLIP: Kamala Harris’s most honest campaign ad ever (1:52).

Sometimes, the significance of the insignificant is itself, significant. And unburdened.

Have a wonderful weekend! I’ll be back on Monday with a quick update and then back to full steam ahead on Tuesday with a fulsome roundup unburdened by what has been, and recognizing that time, as it passes, is no more than time, which passes each day, with the passage of time. Or words to that effect. You get the idea.

We cannot do it alone. Consider joining up with C&C to help move the nation’s needle and change minds.  I could sure use your help getting the truth out and spreading optimism and hope, if you can:  ☕ Learn How to Get Involved 🦠

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