☕️ DISTRACTING BEASTS ☙ Saturday, June 24, 2023 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

Putin is about to be deposed in another coup, again; White House officials try not to talk about Hunter's WhatsApp bribe; Covid origins "report"; monkeypox jabs failing; SADS; and more.

Good morning, C&C, and welcome to the Weekend Edition! Your roundup this morning includes: gigantic distracting Russia coup story eclipses Biden Bribery story, again; White House officials shilly-shally and refuse to answer questions about Hunter’s WhatsApp shakedown texts; Hunter dines well; White House finally delivers declassified covid origins “report”; SADS MMA heart attack; celebrity dancer turbo breast cancer; new anchor SADSly dies from brief illness; SADS teen idol turbo brain cancer; CDC cartoon advises more jabs; monkeypox jabs prevent serious illness; and a beast lumbers out of the sea in Destin.

🗞💬 *WORLD NEWS AND COMMENTARY* 💬🗞

🚀 Late yesterday afternoon, a sensational, full-on Proxy War propaganda storm hit the airwaves, and as usual, there is no way at all to know what to believe yet. The Wall Street Journal covered the exploding story this morning with the electrifying headline, “Russia’s Putin Orders Military to Crush Wagner Power Grab, Calls It Treason.”

Former ex-con and Russian businessman turned mercenary leader

The sub-headline explained, “President intervenes after Yevgeny Prigozhin’s paramilitary group seizes city of Rostov in most serious challenge to Putin since he took power.”

The Wall Street Journal’s was the LEAST inflammatory headline. Headlines from other corporate media outlets were much more excited, calling what’s happening in Russia a “coup” and suggesting Putin may have already been arrested (again).

The “coup” story — which is 100% speculative at this point — was front and center on nearly every platform, with top sources running multiple articles analyzing the developing story from every direction.

But good luck finding any mention of Biden’s ongoing, well-established Bribery Case anywhere! Here’s how our friends at the New York Times framed it, with seven separate articles:

Nobody really knows anything. But to be honest, the Russians are serving up plenty of highly-suggestive material. Both Prigozhin

¹

and Putin have published competing videos, a bunch of troops have moved around, Moscow is under martial law … but nobody’s reporting any real-life kinetic military encounters.

So WHAT is going on?

Russian has fooled the media before. The same Prighozin famously published a video claiming his troops were completely out of ammo — right before taking Bahkmut. During the now-failed Ukraine Spring CounterOffensive™, Russian forces repeatedly used a false-retreat strategy to dupe the Ukrainian forces. When attacked, the Russians would fall back in apparent disarray, leading the Ukrainians into a trap.

And the Ukrainians kept falling for it, over and over, till they’d lost.

Could this sudden “internal turmoil” could be a larger version of the same tactic? In other words, the Ukrainians, having all but conceded defeat of their glorious counteroffensive, are now being sorely tempted: should they scrape together a final all-out assault to take advantage of Russia’s apparent internal disarray?

²

Before forming any opinions about what is or isn’t happening, just WAIT a few days, because this story appears to be a perfect psyop narrative — two giant personalities facing off against each other in a murky, high-stakes conflict: Putin versus Prigozhin. The whole contretemps could “resolve” with one phone call.

The one thing we know for sure is: we have no idea what’s really going on. Even though all of corporate media’s cherry-picked armchair military experts are completely confident, which is the usual giveaway.

🔥 While corporate media was completely distracted with the Russian coup story, only conservative media covered the Biden Bribery story this morning. The Washington Times ran its story headlined, “WH: President Uninvolved in Hunter Biden’s Deal With Chinese Businessman, Despite Claims in Message.”

The headline is kind of deceptive. The White House never directly addressed Hunter’s WhatsApp message. Instead, yesterday doubly-diverse, extra-intersectional White House press secretary and self-imagined national treasure Karine Jean-Pierre lawyered up:

REPORTER: “In regard of this text message and what the president’s son was alleging, was the president there or not?”

JEAN-PIERRE: “I would refer you to my colleagues at the White House Counsel. They have addresses and I would refer you to them.”

REPORTER: “Have you asked [Biden] whether he was there with his son on July 30, 2017 [when he sent a text to his Chinese business partner]?”

JEAN-PIERRE: “This is not a conversation that I’ve had with the [Biden]. Again, I would refer you to the White House counsel.”

REPORTER: “Do you plan to have that conversation?”

JEAN-PIERRE: “No.”

REPORTER: “Did the [Biden] speak with the attorney general at all?

JEAN-PIERRE: “I can, I can, I cannot say whether the [Biden] had a conversation with the attorney general at all last night. What I can do is refer you to the White House counsel’s office.”

https://twitter.com/ImMeme0/status/1672316988369018903

Anyway, yesterday reporters also asked Baghdad Bob, I mean State Department propagandist John Kirby, about Hunter’s WhatsApp shakedown text messages. Kirby refused to comment, and threatened to walk out if reporters kept on asking him about it. And when reporters did keep asking, Kirby did walk out. He’s not used to having to answer unscripted questions.

“All right guys, that’s it. Have a great weekend.” Da svidanya, Maria.

https://twitter.com/MarioNawfal/status/1672314542150262805

Online wags quickly pointed to these officials’ shilly-shallying as evidence the Biden ship is sinking, and Gavin Newsom will soon be the democrat party’s replacement Approved Candidate™. Seems a tad premature but, hey, they have to do SOMETHING. Despite corporate media’s best efforts to smother the WhatsApp story, it seems to be turning into a smoking gun.

🔥 Meanwhile, admitted tax fraud Hunter Biden, who has no official government job, enjoyed a delicious state dinner Thursday night at the White House, helping host India’s Prime Minister.

One wonders what the Prime Minister thought about it all. This is the modern democrat party.

🔥 Yesterday the Biden Administration finally delivered the vast tranche of declassified covid origins material that dozens of federal agencies have dutifully collected since the beginning of the pandemic.

Haha, just kidding. They “declassified” one single six-page report (nine pages with the index). And even that was just a short summary, a nothing-burger, a miracle of bureaucratese, coming nowhere near close to satisfying the January law’s declassification requirement.

The unexciting report did, however include this line:

“The Department of Energy and the Federal Bureau of Investigation assess that a laboratory-associated incident was the most likely cause of the first human infection with SARS-CoV-2, although for different reasons.”

Well, we already knew that.

But the report also cited other agencies going the other way, toward a conclusion of natural origins. So … who knows? Nobody knows! The report covers all the possibilities, and none of them, and nobody can utilize the report for any useful purpose.

It’s just all so murky!

Laughably, the report also — without naming the evidence, explaining HOW it reached these conclusions, or distinguishing opposing viewpoints — determined the virus itself was completely natural:

Almost all IC agencies assess that SARS-CoV-2 was not genetically engineered. Most agencies assess that SARS-CoV-2 was not laboratory-adapted; some are unable to make a determination. All IC agencies assess that SARS-CoV-2 was not developed as a biological weapon.

Whew! Glad that’s settled. I don’t think ANY credible scientist outside the government believes the virus is natural anymore. It has too many markers of genetic engineering. But once again, the report’s ambiguity means everything and nothing at all.

How about this: why not just give us all the evidence and we’ll decide for ourselves. Would that be too much to ask?

Here’s the link, if you want to waste time reading their silly report.

💉In our first SADS case today, which still has hope, a featherweight MMA champion is in the fight of his life. Cris Lencioni, 28, had a sudden and unexpected heart attack on June 8th, while he was training.

The GoFundMe set up by a friend described Cris as being in “peak physical condition.” Cris is married and is the father of a 2-year-old boy.

Now he’s in the ICU.

I should say, Cris is “still” in the ICU. Weeks after his hazily-described “cardiac incident,” the 28-year-old remains in the hospital in critical care.

Don’t get all conspiratorial on me. Twenty-eight-year-old athletes have heart attacks all the time. (These days.)

💉 Some good news for a change. The BBC ran a story last week headlined, “Strictly’s Amy Dowden More Positive After Cancer Surgery.”

‘Strictly Come Dancing’ star Amy Dowden, 32, was suddenly and unexpectedly diagnosed with stage 3 turbo breast cancer in April. She discovered the lump a day before her honeymoon, right as she was due to fly to the Maldives with her new husband Ben.

In May she had a double mastectomy, and is now looking forward to seeing how the cosmetic reconstruction turned out. “I haven’t looked, I’m waiting for the bruising and swelling to go down,” Amy admitted.

Covid coincidence.

💉 Sadly, UK Mirror Sky News and ITN presenter Rae Stewart, 56, died Tuesday morning “after a brief illness.”

‘Brief illness’ is the new euphemism. “Illness” used to refer to something chronic or extended. A bad health outcome that happened suddenly always used to be called an “attack” or “outbreak.” Saying somebody died “after a brief illness” used to suggest weeks, or at least days, in the hospital.

But nowadays, people can suddenly and unexpectedly drop dead of a “brief illness” while in the shower, reaching for the loofa. Bang! “What was that?” “Oh, probably just Bob, dying after heroically struggling with a brief illness.”

VERY brief. Super brief. Nearly instantaneously briefly.

💉 In another positive development, Shannen Doherty of Beverly Hills 90210 fame, 52, shared a video clip this week of her January surgery to remove a brain tumor. TMZ ran the story, headlined “Shannen Doherty Shares Vid From Brain Tumor Removal Surgery … ‘I Am Petrified’.”

Sometime in 2021, Doherty’s breast cancer, long in remission, came back with a vengeance in “turbo cancer” mode. Now it has metastasized to the actress’ brain.

In some positive reports this week, celebrity reporters said Doherty looked upbeat, was out and about, and said she was feeling “okay.”

We pray for a complete recovery from cancer for Shannen. And for the other thing.

💉 Ironically, the CDC used a cartoon this week to tell people a joke about mixing and matching vaccine brands in the agencies’ summer push for more jabs. Except it wasn’t a joke.

This is not a serious health agency. The only reason it doesn’t matter what brand of vaccine you took last time is because none of them work. We’re two years into the vaccine rollout and we don’t know whether any of the jabs is any better than the others? Seriously?

And, what’s with the cartoon glasses?

It’s a clown world now, and the CDC isn’t even trying very hard to pretend otherwise anymore.

💉 Here we go again! The CDC announced a new outbreak of Monkeypox in Chicago and most — 17 of 21 cases — were among men with both doses of the two-dose Monkeypox vaccine.

Safe AND effective! So effective you’re more likely to get the disease the jab is supposed to prevent.

In the clip from a news piece below, interviewed expert Dr. Kristin Englund explained, “Were coming up on Pride week right now, when there are celebrations within our populations that are at highest risk for getting mpox.”

https://twitter.com/TheChiefNerd/status/1658919374734909442

Celebrations! That must be the new word for “festivals.”

Dr. Englund admitted, “We don’t know how long the vaccination is going to provide immunity, nor do we know how long necessarily natural disease is going to provide immunity.”

I’ll give you ONE GUESS as to what the CDC is recommending now. You got it on the first try! MORE JABS.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!

The White House’s Monkeypox Coordinator and puppy fetishist Dmetre Daskalakis advised, “Simply put, higher vaccination rates equal lower risk for an outbreak. So even though no vaccine is perfect, even imperfect immunity in many people, still means a lot of immunity in the population.”

It’s the same thing. Curiously, the monkeypox vaccine ALSO doesn’t prevent infection but does — mysteriously — partially treat future monkeypox infections, making them “less severe.”

Ha! Disprove that.

“Now is the time to get vaccinated,” Daskalakis advised reporters, making a lot of assumptions about their celebratory habits. “If you didn’t get your first dose — get it. If you didn’t get your second dose — get that.”

Same old, same old.

🔥 Here’s something you don’t see every day. I guess everybody’s moving to Florida now:

https://twitter.com/HespressEnglish/status/1669726537011150854

A baby black bear recently swam ashore in Destin, on Florida’s gulf coast, fraternizing with crowds of startled beach goers. It was not immediately obvious why the forest creature decided to take its refreshing swim at the crowded beach.

It probably WASN’T the beast that came out of the sea in the Book of the Revelation. Probably.

But, hurricanes, alligators, and beach bears are all hazards of life in Free Florida. It’s still worth it, though.

Have a wonderful weekend! I’ll circle back here on Monday morning to help kick off the new week of C&C news.

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1. [FN1] Prigozhin, 52, is a true made-for-Hollywood, bigger-than-life character, a former convict turned Putin insider after serving for years as Putin’s top caterer. You can find lots of pictures of Prigozhin lurking in the background of political events hosting world leaders in Moscow. Somewhere along the line, Putin quietly assigned him to the Wagner Group — Russia’s private paramilitary force — which the former cook somehow turned into a highly skilled mercenary army that assists Moscow around the world with its ‘special operations.’

Since the start of the Special Military Operation in Ukraine, Prigozhin became one of Russia’s “most powerful and popular personalities,” with Wagner opening its own recruitment centers all over Russia. Wagner troops were widely successful in Ukraine, especially most recently in Bahkmut.

2. [FN2] So far, only three things have happened. Both Prigozhin and Putin have published videos. Putin’s video calmly labels “the leaders of this action” as criminals and traitors, but oddly without directly naming Prigozhin. The Wagner leader, who frequently publishes videos critical of Russian military leadership, uploaded an unhinged video claiming Russian normal military forces attacked his troops in what sounds like a limited, friendly-fire mistake, not any kind of full-scale military conflict.

Finally, there have been lots of troop movements consistent with a story of Wagner occupying a Russian military base in Rostov, southern Russia.

UPDATE: Prigozhin released a video this morning claiming to only be supervising the military operations in Rostov to prevent more accidents from happening.