☕️ FORKED ☙ Wednesday, January 29, 2025 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

President Trump wielding his swamp-draining chainsaw against the federal workforce in more historic ways yesterday, which feels like it is building to some kind of swamp-draining crescendo.

Good morning, C&C, it’s Wednesday! It’s another revolution in the making, with President Trump wielding his swamp-draining chainsaw against the federal workforce. They’re forked. The way he’s doing it made even more history yesterday, with a special cameo appearance by DOGE. Plus even more swamp draining and media draining.

🌍 WORLD NEWS AND COMMENTARY 🌍

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Late yesterday, Forbes ran a story headlined, “States And Nonprofits Suing Trump Over ‘Catastrophic’ Pause In Federal Funding: ‘Immediate Nationwide Harm’.” Yesterday played out just as I predicted, as progressives filed countless lawsuits in a vast, chaotic, terrified, deep-state reflex to the threat of even a temporary pause in their federal payments.

On top of the lawsuits —nobody knows yet how many, but it’s a lot— progressive activists took to social media to spread fear, uncertainty, and doubt. The truth was the proposed freeze —now halted by a Delaware judge— would only affect non-profits and NGOs. Payment to individuals, such as Social Security or Medicare, were already exempt.

Among the frantic howls of protest, we have uncovered a universe of progressive NGOs and nonprofits who live off the federal government, and live very well, and nearly all of them are Democrat-aligned. It’s becoming clear why this ecosystem of federal finance is so opaque: to protect the extended part of the progressive deep state.

Project 2025 or whoever planned this assault on the Swamp must surely have anticipated these legal challenges. We must wait and see how they respond. But the Swamp-draining continued yesterday at a frantic pace, and a whole new front opened in Trump’s war with the deep state.

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In 2017, many people (myself included) hoped that when Trump took office in his first term, he would immediately begin reproducing the plot of his reality TV show, The Apprentice. How we longed to hear Trump’s unique voice utter that famous phrase —you’re fired! That’s what we thought draining the swamp would look like.

To be clear, we had no beef with a lot of career federal workers, who are almost certainly loyal, hardworking Americans always holding the country’s best interests in first priority. But, we also had conclusive evidence against many other federal workers, like celebrity villain Lois Lerner and her team of career IRS staff who helped her. They were all just delighted to illegally spin the wheels of power to the “grind” setting and levigate legions of innocent Tea Partiers.

In other words, since 2013 we’d realized there were literal criminals inside government, empowered by progressive protectors, who were outright destroying people’s lives and insidiously making things immeasurably difficult for the rest of us. They’d hide in the regulatory bushes, and just after we played slip-n-slide on a hot Saturday afternoon, they’d figuratively spring out and declare the leftover puddles in the lawn to be protected wetlands.

We waited breathlessly for all the swamp-draining to start, but nobody ever got fired. Trump 1.0 was a great disillusionment. Worse, whenever President Trump wasn’t looking, the swamp thumbed its reptilian nose and made faces at us. This happened a lot, because the President was often distracted by all the lawfare and impeachments and Democrats otherwise clowning around like idiots.

We expected sackings, at least at the Cincinnati IRS office where Lois Lerner’s squad of partisans unleashed bureaucratic hell on their fellow Americans. But we got inaction. Our long-deferred expectations dissolved into disappointment. For instance, consider this headline from NBC, September 2017:

But we weren’t just disappointed about Lois. Granted, it is maddening that she is living on a Greek Island somewhere enjoying her generous, federal defined-benefits retirement plan, which we are paying for, and given what we’ve been learning lately, we are also paying for her taxpayer-funded security detail and probably a government-funded personal shopper.

It’s been too long; Lois has escaped the net. The remaining issue is this: What about the so-called nonpartisan, apolitical, career IRS personnel who did Lois’ dirty work? What about them? In 2013, the Inspector General found the IRS officials had broken the law. But no charges were ever brought. No federal employee was ever reported to have been fired.

Lois Lerner and her crew of ‘nonpartisan’ civil servants weaponized the IRS against conservatives, sabotaging core, First Amendment-protected political participation, all thinly disguised as bureaucratic red tape. And what happened? Nothing. No one got fired. No one got charged. No one even lost their pension.

Nothing changed to ensure it couldn’t happen again.

Absurdly, as you read this, the same staff at the same Cincinnati office still process conservative tax-exempt applications. But don’t worry—they got an hour of mandatory ethics PowerPoint training! With a multiple-choice quiz at the end.

But now we have Trump 2.0. And finally! at long last! oh, glorious day! Trump 2.0 has started out the way that we’d originally hoped Trump 1.0 would begin. A great gurgling noise is coming from Washington, DC, and the swamp creatures are getting louder and louder. The reckoning has begun, and nobody cares anymore about all the tired, absurd claims about how “apolitical” the civil service is.

Want to know the main reason why conservatives have zero sympathy for pajama-wearing federal workers being ordered back to the office five days a week? I can answer in two words: Lois Lerner.

Which brings us to our next story.

🔥 They are operating very quietly, but I detect the work of DOGE. The Associated Press ran a terrific story yesterday headlined, “Trump offering federal workers buyouts with about 8 months' pay in effort to shrink government.” In other words: It has begun.

With the federal workforce in chaos from the previous executive orders, 92% of them facing the terrifying prospect of having to go back to work over the next few weeks. But yesterday, Trump dangled them a lifeline.

Well, it was a dark lifeline, but still. The lifeline was a “deferred resignation” offer providing eight months of salary and benefits —and full exemption from the back-to-the-office requirement— for any federal employee who wants out now. (There are certain exceptions, like military personnel and so on.)

And it is fully automated. It couldn’t be any easier. All a federal employee needs to do is send a blank email to “hr@opm.gov” from their government email address, with the simple word “resign” in the subject. And Bob’s your Uncle, you’re in the program.

It was more swamp-draining, and more record-setting. This could be the single greatest exhibition of bureaucratic judo in modern history, maybe of all time. Instead of waiting for the inevitable malicious compliance, slow-walking, and subversive resistance, Trump offered a golden parachute and an attractive way out to every disgruntled federal employee who considers themselves a “resister.”

Do you hate the idea of working for Trump? Terrific, here you go: Eight months of paid vacation should be plenty of time to find a new gig working for someone else who you like better than the Bad Orange Man.

🔥 But there was more. A lot more.

Federal employees received the emailed offer yesterday under the subject “Fork in the Road.” The phrase must have been Elon Musk’s signature. Here’s the giant fork in the road the space billionaire first erected at Tesla HQ in California, and later moved to Texas in 2024:

The email didn’t just make the separation offer. It also explained how things will change for the federal workers who choose to stick around. Specifically, it described “four pillars” of reform. Those of us accustomed to the private sector will wonder what the big deal is about.

But for those who’ve long enjoyed the gentle comforts of a government work environment, the four pillars might either excite and encourage certain workers. They will undoubtedly terrify others.

Here is the OPM website including the new Fork in the Road voluntary separation offer and the four pillars. It’s pretty short. Read the whole thing.

🔥 DOGE’s Four Pillars of Federal Reform included: (1) Return to Office, (2) a Performance Culture, (3) a More Streamlined and Flexible Workforce, and (4) an Enhanced Standard of Conduct. Each pillar was described in a short paragraph on the web page. Not only must federal workers now get dressed and come in to work, they will also have to, and I am not making this up, strive for excellence.

And it also delivered the bad news. “The majority of federal agencies,” OPM explained, “are likely to be downsized through restructurings, realignments, and reductions in force.” Presumably, the generous severance will be off the table, but downsized workers can be assured that, “should your position be eliminated, you will be treated with dignity and will be afforded the protections in place for such positions.”

Remember Trump’s new Schedule F? At-will is coming at them, fast. The memo said, “These actions are likely to include the use of furloughs and the reclassification to at-will status for a substantial number of federal employees.” And then it hinted there were even more unpleasant changes to come: “Employees will be subject to enhanced standards of suitability and conduct as we move forward.”

The website said the last day to accept the deferred resignation program is February 6th, 2025 — in other words, next Thursday. By next week, we’ll know how many bureaucrats would rather take a paid exit than work under a merit-based system. And the ‘resistance’ within the federal bureaucracy will be significantly weakened, assuming that the most Trump-deranged partisans pull the ripcord.

🔥 Speaking of Schedule F, OPM released a memo the day before, on Monday, with deadlines for the new schedule’s implementation. The OPM memo set deadlines for federal agencies to recommend workers for reclassification under the new at-will Schedule. Agency heads were told to establish a contact person no later than Wednesday (today), and to begin submitting ‘interim personnel recommendations’ on a rolling basis, finishing no later than 90 days from now.

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The draining continued at an impressive speed yesterday, with new pumps coming online. The New York Times reported on one drained swamp creature under the headline, “Pentagon Removes General Milley’s Security Detail and Revokes His Clearance.” Not only that! The sub-headline added, “The Pentagon asked its inspector general to review the record and behavior of Gen. Mark A. Milley.”

General Milley’s record and behavior are well known. From just what we do know, assuming nothing else tumbles out of his skeleton closet, Milley’s behavior will not likely bear up under intense scrutiny through the microscopic lens of the Military’s Uniform Code of Conduct.

Milley must be a general as nervous as the proverbial toad ‘neath the harrow.

The Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) offers several immediately possibilities. Article 88 (contempt toward officials), Article 92 (failure to obey orders or regulations), and Article 133 (conduct unbecoming an officer) all spring to mind. While Milley’s pardon and his retirement probably preclude a full-on court-martial, he could still be administratively sanctioned.

In other words, the four-star general might lose a star or two, which translates directly to reductions in his pension.

Thus, any investigation could pose a serious problem for Milley, which is assuming nothing else buried in the general’s woodpile we don’t know about yet. That’s a big ‘if.’

Taking care of General Milley was one of Pete Hegseth’s first priorities as Defense Secretary. It makes one wonder what Attorney General nominee Pam Bondi has on her list. Or FBI Director nominee Kash Patel. Trump has unlocked a Cabinet-level power never before used in this way.

Like some others, Milley’s previously permanent security is alleged to have resulted from his involvement in the killing of Iranian General Soleimani. Now he’ll have to arrange his own security if he feels the threat is real. They need to stop acting like Russian oligarchs.

🔥 Some folks feel badly for these officials whose security was canceled by President Trump. But I can offer three good reasons for stripping these awful officials’ security. First of all, the cost. How many of these private armies are we, the taxpayers, paying for? Since we get no vote or say, and since they obviously will never tell us, I feel very uncomfortable saying it is okay without oversight.

There is simply too little transparency, especially given the costs involved.

Second, what our security? What about security for us when the government makes risky policy decisions? Rationally, when government actors do things that increase risks for the general public, why should the official be better protected from the consequences? For example, Biden’s open borders didn’t just invite criminals and terrorists into our suburbs and neighborhoods, but the Cabbage even flew them all around the country for free. That’s a lot of additional risk.

Yet where was our security? Where was our protection from the rapists and the murderers planted in unwitting and unprepared communities in order to further Biden’s deranged border policy? For that matter, where’s our private security that will protect us from any terrorists retaliating for the killing of Iranian General Soleimani, or Osama Bin Laden?

Should everyone share the burden of risk? Maybe the general bore some unquantifiable amount of additional risk than the general public, but at least Milley had a choice. He could’ve quit rather than carry out the order.

But we didn’t even know it was happening, never mind having any kind of choice.

Third and finally, what kind of terribly designed, two-tiered system gives public officials —in and out of office— their own lifetime private police forces, while many of them are also busy defunding or destabilizing our police protections? When you net out the risks and benefits, should we protect officials from the consequences of their actions? Or should we let the heightened risk attached to those consequences provide a natural check and balance, a brake on too-risky decisions?

All this recently disclosed, billionaire-level private security for retired public officials could create disastrous perverse incentives. Imagine how different Tony Fauci’s pandemic decisions might have been, had he known he’d be forced to pay for his own security after he retired.

Here’s the thing: If they don’t want to fear their fellow citizens, they shouldn’t do things while in office that infuriate everybody. If you’re afraid of the people you govern, you’re probably governing badly. Good leaders earn respect rather than resentment.

I recognize there’s an argument for protecting diligent public servants from crazy people and perhaps from once-in-a-lifetime events. But so far, I remain unconvinced that we owe it to rafts of bureaucrats to give them secretive, murky, dark-budget-funded, lifelong protection, especially at the cost of hundreds of millions each.

I say No. Maybe for a few years, in special circumstances. But not without transparency, and not forever. End this ugly, oligarchical perquisite.

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Yesterday, the AP ran another great story headlined, “CNN's Jim Acosta, an irritant to Trump, says he's quitting rather than take a late-night time slot.” Acosta wasn’t just an ‘irritant to Trump.’ He was an equal-opportunity irritant. So, today we can celebrate another pandemic media villain biting the rhetorical dust.

CLIP: In 2021, CNN’s Jim Acosta calling people who don’t want the jab “herd stupidity” (0:23).

To be clear, CNN did not fire the storied anchor, who became a liberal hero in 2018 after refusing to give up the microphone at a White House briefing and excoriating President Trump in a totally unmemorable and unhinged diatribe. Rather, CNN graciously offered Acosta the overnight (midnight till 2am) slot, which each evening entertains half a dozen groggy airport travelers.

On hearing the news about the offer, Trump offered a few salty suggestions and wished Acosta good luck:

Fox reported that CNN staffers were “in shock” about how quickly Acosta had been purged from the network. Shock and awe. There’s a lot of that kind of shock going around this week, and all in the right places.

Acosta broke the news at the end of his one-hour morning show yesterday, when he puzzlingly advised viewers: “Don’t give in to the lies. Don’t give in to the fear.” It wasn’t clear what he was talking about. Maybe … lies like, the vaccine will save you from covid? Or fears like, you’ll die if you don’t take the shots? Stuff like that?

Goodbye, Jim. I suggest podcasting.

Have a wonderous Wednesday! I can’t begin to tell you how much essential news is piling up. We are on an express train to fulfilling all our political hopes and dreams. Tune back in tomorrow morning when we will try to get caught up. See you then.

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