Parents who fight and try and turn children against the other parent really are awful, there isn't much more reprehensible behavior. It's not that hard to get along if there's a will to do so.
It really is a sign of our spoiled and narcissistic culture that grown adults cannot behave themselves and act responsibly in front of children. No…
Parents who fight and try and turn children against the other parent really are awful, there isn't much more reprehensible behavior. It's not that hard to get along if there's a will to do so.
It really is a sign of our spoiled and narcissistic culture that grown adults cannot behave themselves and act responsibly in front of children. No one has to act out on their emotions, it is a choice to do so. People also choose to be miserable and take their misery out on others. They could choose to keep their mouth shut and slap a smile on their face, instead yelling and screaming at each other is a conscious, selfish act.
I'm sorry you had to go through this and wish your parents had behaved differently. But understand that they chose to behave the way they did despite the horrible effects on the children. No one forced them to do this, yet they didn't care. I say this so hopefully you don't make the same mistake with your kids (if you have them), and also so you can keep it in mind when your elderly parents now try and manipulate you through guilt.
You didn't deserve this, and recognize your parents chose to make the house miserable. Forgive them (for your own benefit) but don't forget. You have no obligation to participate in their dysfunction. People rarely change, but if they do (by the grace of God) it will be obvious.
I am almost 70, my parents have both long since passed and were brought up to believe that "until death us do part" meant just that, even if you discovered that you actually had nothing in common save for a baby, neither of you intended to make. But, it was considered "the right thing to do". I have forgiven them long ago. My reasoning being, they were both so wrapped up in their own misery they just didn't see what it was doing to us kids. They didn't do the usual yelling, screaming, throwing things and definitely no violence, they would just go months without speaking one word. I have often wondered how much happier they, and in turn we, would have been had they been able to divorce.
Parents who fight and try and turn children against the other parent really are awful, there isn't much more reprehensible behavior. It's not that hard to get along if there's a will to do so.
It really is a sign of our spoiled and narcissistic culture that grown adults cannot behave themselves and act responsibly in front of children. No one has to act out on their emotions, it is a choice to do so. People also choose to be miserable and take their misery out on others. They could choose to keep their mouth shut and slap a smile on their face, instead yelling and screaming at each other is a conscious, selfish act.
I'm sorry you had to go through this and wish your parents had behaved differently. But understand that they chose to behave the way they did despite the horrible effects on the children. No one forced them to do this, yet they didn't care. I say this so hopefully you don't make the same mistake with your kids (if you have them), and also so you can keep it in mind when your elderly parents now try and manipulate you through guilt.
You didn't deserve this, and recognize your parents chose to make the house miserable. Forgive them (for your own benefit) but don't forget. You have no obligation to participate in their dysfunction. People rarely change, but if they do (by the grace of God) it will be obvious.
Thank you but there is no need for concern.
I am almost 70, my parents have both long since passed and were brought up to believe that "until death us do part" meant just that, even if you discovered that you actually had nothing in common save for a baby, neither of you intended to make. But, it was considered "the right thing to do". I have forgiven them long ago. My reasoning being, they were both so wrapped up in their own misery they just didn't see what it was doing to us kids. They didn't do the usual yelling, screaming, throwing things and definitely no violence, they would just go months without speaking one word. I have often wondered how much happier they, and in turn we, would have been had they been able to divorce.