☕️ MEANDERING ☙ Monday, June 17, 2024 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

Gaffe-prone Resident fills b-roll of weekend senior moment clips; critical Ohio bodily autonomy bill; dems jet-fuel the draft; terrific La. court decision drops important truth bombs; and more.

Good morning, C&C, it’s Monday! Coffee & Covid is safely back in the satirical saddle, and we have a terrific roundup of the weekend’s essential news: Biden meanders all over the globe and controversial clips constitute a compelling advertisement for elderly care homes; critically important bodily autonomy bill winding through Ohio’s legislature; democrats turbo charge the draft and delete offensive sex-based stereotypes; and a fabulous Lousiana federal court decision puts brakes on Biden’s gender-bending school rules.

🗞💬 WORLD NEWS AND COMMENTARY 💬🗞

🔥🔥 Joe Biden’s brain enjoyed a restful Father’s Day weekend. About an hour before Barack Obama gently walked a stiff, motionless Joe Biden, 81, off a West Coast fund-raising stage, the leader of the free world hallucinated that he’d taught Constitutional law for nine years, a happening more imaginary than Irish fairies or the cannibals who ate Uncle Bosey. Joe’s point, generously interpreting his slurred, rambling monologue, was that he, Sleepy Joe, is just as qualified as any Justice on the Supreme Court to interpret Constitutional law.

As far as anyone can tell, Joe has never been an actual professor of anything, much less Constitutional law, and his resume is pretty packed since he graduated college in 1968, leaving little time for teaching. Joe started his meteoric, full-time political career two years after graduation in 1970 serving on the County Council. From there, only two years later, he rocketed to the United States Senate in 1972, squatting there until Obama scraped him off the Senate toilet seat for vice-president. Biden’s selection as VP set a new low for already subsurface vice-presidential standards, which broke through to another lower historical level on the day Joe picked his own hyena-like VP.

Democrats seized on the fact the University of Pennsylvania paid Joe a million bucks as an ‘ancillary professor’ — a post with zero job duties — a gig he knitted into a wide variety of tall tales. This “job” has long been the subject of much mirth in conservative media. From the New York post, last September:

In case you missed it, here’s the clip of Joe forgetting where he was, and freezing for about ten seconds in front of an audience of generous but credulous democrat donors.  You’ll see Obama notices, takes Biden’s hand, and leads him offstage like a lost child, forming a perfect metaphor for the whole sham Biden Presidency:

CLIP: Buh bye! (0:42)

Biden’s mental walkabout this weekend came fast on the heels of his striking performance, or lack of performance, at the G7 Summit in Italy late Friday. The day produced this fantastic New York Post cover:

CLIP: The full video, decide for yourself (1:00).

Democrats cried foul, insisting the former Vice-President was trailblazing, going his own way so to speak, having stepped off of the photo-op reservation to admire a different parachutist than all the other leaders. Here’s one example of corporate media’s defensive headlines:

Corporate media’s gushing explanation that Joe was distracted by a different display failed to satisfy, though, since it doesn’t explain how Joe got so confused that he wandered away from all other G7 leaders who all seemed to know where they were supposed to be standing for the photo op. Once again, Joe was rescued by another leader — this time kindly Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni — who gently led Biden back to where he was supposed to be standing.

Forget about the meandering. Throughout the clip, notice Biden moving at one-quarter speed compared to all the other leaders. In the best light, Biden still looks physically and mentally slow. More reasonably, Biden looks like he needs some extended quiet time in an assisted-care facility with a full-time nurse.

Nearly every deplorable clip of Biden’s G7 performance, and there are many, show the other world leaders leading Joe around like Little Bo Peep’s lamb, pointing out wherever he was supposed to go next, and huddling around him like anxious nursemaids.

And then, of course, there was this bizarre, indescribable encounter between Joe and Catholic Pope Francis, whatever it was, or whatever you want to call it:

CLIP: Joe slowly butts heads with the Pope (0:20).

Mental telepathy? A failed attempt at hair sniffing? A literal meeting of the minds? A slow-motion head-butt? An inappropriate but well-intentioned forehead embrace? Did Joe think the Pope looked like a giant vanilla ice cream cone? Words, for once, fail to do the scene justice. See for yourself.

I’d feed my Uncle Bosey to the cannibals for the chance to be a fly on the wall the instant the Pope got out of the cameras. And check out President Milei’s facial expression from a different angle.

Are they really planning war with Russia, China, and Iran, lead by this relic?

🔥 A heart-rending clip making the rounds this weekend showed the halting testimony of a covid vaccine-injured pharmacist. Former pharmacist. He’s 100% disabled now. Mike Yoha testified last week before an Ohio house committee considering the fabulous Conscientious Right to Refuse Act, H.B. 319:

CLIP: Guilliane Barre injured pharmacist Mike Yoha testifies in support of Right to Refuse (5:34).

Mr. Yoha represents the jagged tip of a bloody iceberg of pain, disability, and tears. I encourage all Ohio C&Cers to ceaselessly lobby their legislators to pass this critical bill, which would be a first in the Nation and an example for all right-thinking citizens in other states to follow. In short, H.B. 319 would award attorney’s fees and treble damages to any Ohio employee experiencing discrimination for declining a mandated medical intervention.

Here’s the link to the Bill, and here is the Bill’s mot juste:

Keep a couple things in mind. First, we need a federal version of this bill, which should be uncontroversial but remains impossible so long as democrats control any of the House, Senate, or Presidency. Second, after long thought over all these years, I’ve come up with only one narrow case where it might be legitimate for an employer to require vaccination: when the employee’s job duties include international travel to foreign countries requiring particular vaccinations for entry. But that’s it.

We have to start somewhere. Come on, Buckeyes! In October 1958, Ohio adopted the state motto, “With God, All Things Are Possible.” For the rest of us outside Ohio, pray for the success of H.B. 319.

🚀🚀 In perhaps another sign of the times, late last week, the House passed a democrat amendment to the Defense Authorization bill to register young Americans for the draft automatically. Fox reported the story under the headline, “House passes defense bill automatically registering men 18-26 for draft.”

The amendment is intended to turbo-charge the draft process, allegedly for the citizens’ convenience. It is already mandatory for Americans to register on their 18th birthday, and failing to do so is a felony. So. They’re from the government, and they are here to help.

You’re welcome.

On the plus side, this year’s draft NDAA also includes a +20% pay raise for junior enlisted troops, presumably intended to boost the military’s failing recruitment efforts. Thanks to House Republicans, it also includes a raft of amendments cutting military funding for abortion, transgender medical care, and diversity efforts. Thus, the NDAA is currently dead on arrival in the Democrat-controlled Senate, where such issues are viewed as vital to America’s military readiness.

In what should have been the headline, shattering more historical standards, the democrats’ amendment also requires women to register for the draft. Four years ago, proposing a woman-drafting policy would have been instant death by political self-electrocution. Now, it’s just a footnote. Draft sponsor Chrissy Houlahan (D-PA) explained, “Simply put, as the Selective Service System is currently written, it is unconstitutional and discriminates based on sex.”

The Happy Fighting Women of America

Congratulations, ladies! You’ve broken through the military’s Kevlar ceiling, and you can now enjoy fighting Russians in Ukraine for America. Drafting women was inevitable; it only makes sense. Well, it makes sense in the same way that explaining the logistics of how Santa’s sleigh flies makes sense. Since nowadays the military recognizes gender by self-selected identity, we can’t afford men getting out of the draft by identifying as women.

That would be absurd.

It’s also practical. It’s about making the numbers. Representative Houlahan — herself an Air Force veteran — offered the plain logic, “It ensures the Selective Service System is able to provide the DoD with all the sufficient numbers of personnel with the necessary skills in the event of a national mobilization.”

Houlahan’s automatic draft registration amendment sailed through committee on a nearly unanimous bipartisan vote. So bet that it will survive negotiation with the Senate.

It is an open secret the U.S. military, while flirting with three major world conflicts, is also facing an unprecedented recruitment crisis. Current military staffing levels sit at a woeful eighty-year low. For some reason.

The Army is authorized for 494,000 personnel, but has only 445,000. The Navy is short about 16,000 sailors and, most worryingly, the shortage of junior sailors is particularly acute. The Air Force is facing such serious personnel shortfalls that it’s offering pilots a retention bonus of six hundred thousand dollars to stay in the service. Only the Marine Corps and Space Force, the two smallest services, got close to their recruitment goals last year—barely.

So get ready! Biden has big plans to teach our global enemies a lesson we won’t soon forget.

🔥🔥 On Friday, CBS ran a story headlined, “Biden preparing to offer legal status to undocumented immigrants who have lived in U.S. for 10 years.”

Biden’s so-called “Parole in Place” plan would be the largest ‘immigration’ program for unauthorized immigrants since Obama’s 2012 DACA program, which was touted as a “temporary (permanent) stopgap" measure allowing illegal immigrant children and their families to obtain citizenship despite breaking the law to enter the U.S.

Biden’s even better plan is expected to be unveiled on Tuesday, at a White House event “celebrating” DACA’s 12th anniversary. According to CBS’s anonymous sources, the new plan will allow illegal immigrants enjoying ten years of illegal U.S. residence to apply for citizenship without having to leave the U.S. first, which is the current law.

Of course, Biden lacks authority to do this, and lawsuits are certain, but when has that ever before stopped the Meanderer in Chief?

🔥🔥 Speaking of Biden overreach, in a terrific story mysteriously AWOL from corporate media, the Dallas Express ran an article Friday headlined, “Federal judge states Biden administration's unilateral Title IX changes are a ‘threat to democracy’.”

Last month, the Biden Administration extended Title IX protections — originally meant to protect women’s sports and ensure equal access to education — to trans people, pre-empting protective state laws and allowing punishment of any colleges and schools that ban biological men from playing in women’s sports or accessing their private areas.

In other words, Biden’s new rule re-defines ‘womanhood’ to include penis carriers. So much for the feminists’ concept of toxic masculinity; farewell, we barely knew thee.

Biden’s new 423-page rules also require schools to let men use womens’ bathrooms and changing rooms, and requires teachers to use ungrammatical pronouns whenever students feel the urge to experiment, as many times as they want to swap genders, without limitation.

Louisiana, Mississippi, Montana and Idaho filed suit, and late last week, federal district judge Terry Dougherty approved the four states’ emergency request for an injunction to halt the new Biden policy. By the way, Judge Dougherty is the same terrific Trump appointee who issued the great decision in Murthy v. Missouri, the social media censorship case now at the Supreme Court.

The plaintiff states correctly argued that Biden’s monstrous new rules turn Title IX on its head, undermining and eviscerating the law’s original objective. Encouragingly, the Court rejected the Biden Administration’s stupidly Orwellian effort to re-define “sex:”

Title IX was written and intended to protect biological women from discrimination. Plaintiffs provided this Court with three different dictionary definitions of "sex" before, at, and after Title IX's enactment in 1972. All these dictionaries define "sex" as "male or female." Defendants have not provided a single dictionary definition that defined "sex" as including gender identity or sexual orientation either before or at the time of Title IX's enactment.

Allowing this would allow decades of triumphs for women and men alike to go down the drain, and this Court finds that Defendants' argument is meritless.

But the Court really hit its stride considering whether Biden had authority to make sweeping social changes like this without Congress weighing in. Judge Dougherty relied on the court-developed major questions doctrine, which became invaluable during the pandemic. Major questions require an act of Congress and can’t be slipped in through agency rulemaking:

To be a "major question," the power exercised must be of a vast economic and political significance. Here, the Court finds that the Final Rule is an issue of vast economic significance. It is of vast political significance because it will affect every public elementary school, middle school, high school, and college in the United States that receives federal funding, and because it is a polarizing political issue that an agency has no authority to make.

Accordingly, this Court finds that Defendants do not have the authority to enact regulations which change the meaning of "sex discrimination" to include gender identity, sexual orientation, sex stereotypes or sex characteristics.

Maybe best of all, the Court found the new rules were irrational. In the law’s lingo, they are “arbitrary and capricious:”

Defendants failed to consider that biological females and biological males that identify as females have different body parts. Nearly every civilization recognizes a norm against exposing one's unclothed body to the opposite sex. Yet, Defendants did not consider these cultural norms or the reasons such norms are so prevalent when adopting the Final Rule.

The Final Rule may likely cause biological females more discrimination than they had before Title IX was enacted. Importantly, Defendants did not consider the effect the Final Rule would have on biological females by requiring them to share their bathrooms and locker rooms with biological males. The Final Rule only focuses on the "effect on the student who changes their gender identity" and fails to address the effect on the other students ("cisgender students"). These cisgender females must use the bathroom, undress, and shower in the presence of persons who may identify as females but still have male biological parts. Many of these students are minors.

Judge Dougherty was ungentle in his conclusion, explicitly calling Biden’s new Title IX rules “an abuse of power,” and quoting ancient wisdom about tyranny. His simple, straightforward conclusion needed no editing:

But the order’s final sentence was perhaps the best of all. Judge Dougherty — co-opting the left’s ceaseless refrain but using it properly — put the capstone on his order by correctly labeling executive overreach as a “threat to democracy:”

An appeal to the reliable Fifth Circuit will no doubt be forthcoming. From there, it will leap to the Supreme Court, which has, since 2020, been in the regular habit of striking revolutionary agency rulemaking like this 453-page monster.

Progress.

Have a marvelous Monday! And come on back here tomorrow for another essential news roundup in the inimitable and unique Coffee & Covid style.

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