☕️ NOT-SO-EASY STREETS ☙ Wednesday, April 1, 2026 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

Trump's "go get your own oil" triggers a 24-hour European domino collapse, Ukraine's allies tell Zelensky to stop helping, the Supreme Court crushes Colorado counseling ban; New ballot order; more.

Good morning, C&C, it’s Wednesday! And March is over. Just like that. Your jam-packed roundup includes: a Biden 2028 comeback that’s sharper than ever; Trump signs a masterwork mail-in voting executive order that gives Democracy better package tracking than Amazon Prime; the Supreme Court strikes down Colorado’s conversion therapy ban 8-1 and Sotomayor joins the majority; DeSantis gets the Florida SAVE Act plus Missy’s Law and a judicial impeachment; and a geopolitical earthquake where Trump says “go get your own oil” and Europe starts embracing populism within hours.

🌍🇺🇸 ESSENTIAL NEWS AND COMMENTARY 🇺🇸🌍

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I’ll admit, I didn’t have this one on my 2026 Bingo card. Yesterday, the New York Times ran a giddy story headlined, “Biden Announces Likely 2028 Presidential Run.” The subheadline assured Times’ readers, “Despite concerns about his age, Mr. Biden’s inner circle insists he is ‘sharper than ever’ and eager to offer voters ‘a return to normalcy.’”

In a stunning political development, Politico reported yesterday that former President Joe Biden is “strongly considering” a 2028 presidential run, citing what unnamed aides described as “unfinished business” and a “burning desire to restore normalcy.”

According to senior Democratic sources, Biden has been “sharper than ever” during his time at his Rehoboth Beach compound, where he’s reportedly been holding daily strategy sessions with a small circle of trusted advisors. “He’s fired up,” one aide told Politico. “He watches the news every morning for almost twenty minutes before starting up to 90 minutes of intense daily strategy planning.”

Mr. Biden would be the oldest president in U.S. history, achieving a seasoned 86 when he took the oath, and leaving office at age 90. “People forget that Dianne Feinstein served until 90,” Senate Minority Leader Chuckie “Cheese” Schumer (D-NY) noted. “Joe could beat me in a foot race. If he were ten years older, he would still outthink the warmongering imposter currently hogging the Oval Office.”

The Times reported that Biden’s inner circle says he feels he has “unfinished business” and is being driven by “an irresistible moral and ethical... thing.” That is a direct quote. The “thing,” presumably, is either the burning desire to save democracy or a misplaced set of car keys. We don’t know yet.

According to anonymous aides who are definitely not just three raccoons in a trench coat, the former president has been “at his sharpest” at his Delaware compound. They told Politico the former president recently completed a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle of a golden retriever in under three weeks, and only tried to feed it a biscuit twice.

The working campaign slogan, leaked to Axios, is reportedly: “This Time I’ll Stay Awake.” A backup option was “No Malarkey 2: How Could It Get Any Worse?” Sources say Jill Biden is personally managing his TikTok presence, which so far consists of one video of the former president successfully navigating a revolving door, captioned “HE’S BACK 💪.”

Political analysts at CNN are already calling it a “masterclass in Gen Z engagement.”

Biden’s 2028 exploratory committee is reportedly making quick moves to prepare for a grueling two-year campaign. In a bold staffing decision that signals a shift toward a more dynamic, youthful energy, Biden has reportedly hired an outside-the-Beltway campaign manager: his physical therapist, Gary O’Connor.

Gary brings a wealth of experience to the stretching table, having successfully managed several local but high-stakes campaigns, including “Let’s Try Bending the Knee” and the astonishing long-shot campaign, “Squeezing the Stress Ball for Five Minutes.” Insiders say Gary’s strict adherence to a 2:00 PM nap schedule will be the cornerstone of the campaign’s rigorous swing-state strategy.

The first rally is scheduled for a Jamba Juice in Wilmington, Delaware, where Biden plans to announce his “Juice and Justice” tour— a nationwide barnstorm (limited to states with no stairs, no wind, and no questions from reporters). Politico teased a “special appearance from an old Biden family member,” and excited rumors on BlueSky speculate it may be Uncle Bosie, not eaten by cannibals after all.

On hearing the news, President Trump posted on Truth Social, “I wish him well! Let’s see Sleepy Joe try bombing the Ayatollah. Maybe it will cure his oil cancer.”

Haha, just kidding. April Fool’s! Don’t worry; so far as we know, Joe plans to stay in the cabbage patch.

Now for some real news.

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When the Times builds the rebuttal right into the headline, you know it’s worried. Yesterday, the Grey Lady reported —not anywhere on its home page, mind you— “Trump Signs Order Seeking Federal Control of Mail Voting as He Promotes False Claims.” As if its opinion weren’t clear enough, the subheadline added, “Election experts and Democratic officials called the order legally invalid, and Arizona and Oregon pledged to immediately challenge it in court.”

CLIP: President Trump and Howard Lutnick explain new mail-in voting order (2:21).

The order, titled “Ensuring Citizenship Verification and Integrity in Federal Elections,” is a masterwork. Nobody saw it coming. The problem the White House faces is that the Constitution gives states the right to administer their elections, subject to federal law. With the SAVE America Act hogtied in the Senate, Democrats thought Trump was stymied.

He found a third way. Democrats built the mail-in system. Trump only added a return address.

Mail-in ballots —the most unregulated voting scheme in the developed world— must, by their nature, pass through the hands of the Executive Branch at a critical chokepoint: the mail. The Executive Branch runs the US Postal Service. So Trump’s order builds on existing rules governing how and when the Postal Service can process mailed ballots. The new rules are based on three innovations: a list, special ballot envelopes, and new audit tools.

First, the list. Under the new order, each State must send USPS a list of people eligible to vote by mail in federal elections and who will be getting a mail‑in or absentee ballot (the “Mail‑In and Absentee Participation List”). If you’re not on the list, USPS can’t send you a ballot. Period. States can regularly update and correct their lists with USPS before each federal election, “consistent with State law.”

When a State wants to mail a ballot to someone, it must request a special, unique barcode for each eligible person and address. The barcodes and database will be maintained by DHS.

Next, the envelopes. Any ballot sent through USPS must be placed in an “Official Election Mail” envelope using USPS‑approved markings and layouts. The envelopes must be automation‑compatible and must carry the Intelligent Mail barcode from DHS, so that USPS can track each envelope and tie it to a specific approved voter on the State’s list.

Democracy now has better package tracking than Amazon Prime.

Finally, the new auditing features. States and localities will keep their own substantive rules on which voters are eligible, and how mail-in voting is processed locally. But they are instructed to preserve, for five years, all records and materials (excluding, for privacy, the actual cast ballots) that show voter participation, like ballot envelopes. The fact that each ballot envelope can be tied to a specific entry on the Participation List enables federal tracking and audit of ballot flows through the mail.

For example, the USPS could report how many ballots were mailed on time. Second, the database list requirement would effectively ensure that only US citizens vote in federal elections— or at least make non-citizen voting much harder.

Separately, the new order instructs the DOJ to prioritize investigations and prosecutions of officials or entities that violate the EO by sending ballots to ineligible voters or misusing the mail for election fraud. Carrot, meet stick.

For Democrats, these straightforward new rules are about as welcome as a skunk in a sauna.

🔥 Prepare for the lawfare tsunami. This is one of Democrats’ worst-case scenarios.

Helpful to President Trump, the USPS has long provided special rules and guidelines for processing mailed ballots. For years, the USPS has already defined “Election Mail” and “Ballot Mail” and given election officials detailed guidance on how to design, prepare, and enter ballot envelopes so they move quickly and are visible in the system.

All the new Executive Order does is ratchet up USPS procedures and guidelines one level, and connect them to a federally maintained database of eligible voters. It reeks of common sense. On its face, the order is administratively routine: keep a clean list of who should get a ballot, track the envelopes, and preserve records in case of disputes or investigations. Who can argue with that? (Don’t answer; it was a rhetorical question.)

USPS and election officials already used barcodes, standardized envelope designs, and special handling for ballot mail, so Trump’s EO just builds on familiar operational tools, rather than inventing anything exotic. I’m not saying the Democrats can’t object; after all, they just convinced a DC judge to order the White House ballroom project shut down.

But to oppose these reforms, they will have to reach— by claiming the order has secret ulterior motives that, if you squint hard enough, make it an unconstitutional power grab from the states. Of course, Democrats forgot about states’ rights around 2009. They just remembered.

Most states print state and federal election choices on the same ballots. So I expect blue states to argue that, if they adopt these federal rules for federal elections, then, as a practical matter, it will also force them to use the same rules for their state and local elections, which would be an unconstitutional invasion of states’ rights. They’ll argue about that, and equity, the children, and carbon footprints the size of above-average bovines.

The truth, as everybody knows full well, is that:

1. Mail-in ballots are a mess. They are chaotic, slow, and are about as trustworthy as a Craigslist roommate. They stymie the country’s ability to know results for weeks after Election Day.

2. At least half the country distrusts the mail-in balloting system.

3. The issue is so politically toxic that Congress, which treats the rules themselves as partisan spoils, is effectively paralyzed.

Addressing this mess, only one branch of government is actually doing anything concrete to tighten the machinery and restore basic confidence in elections: the executive. While Congress shouts and stalls and states yank in opposite directions, the President is using tools that already exist —federal lists, postal envelopes, and the criminal code— to make sure that when a federal ballot goes into the mail, it is traceable, lawful, and auditable.

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Yesterday brought another terrific Supreme Court decision. The BBC reported, “Supreme Court strikes down Colorado’s ban on conversion therapy.” Plastic surgeons were hardest hit.

“Conversion therapy” is a grotesque progressive euphemism. The term refers to any psychological counseling or even coaching provided to people experiencing gender dysphoria. Colorado banned it, leaving victims no choice but to enter the highly profitable pipeline-to-surgery.

Yesterday, the Supreme Court struck down Colorado’s ban, 8-1. (Justice Jackson dissenting, of course, in a separate opinion that could have been scribbled up by a below-average Portland middle-school student.)

The 8-1 decision even included Justices Kagan and Sotomayor— not exactly founding members of the Federalist Society. When you’ve got Sotomayor elevating free speech and religion over trans rights in an electric culture-war case, you didn’t just lose the case. You lost the entire argument.

But the decision itself has implications far beyond the gender wars. Don’t miss this. The opinion was a muscular reaffirmation of free speech, particularly against viewpoint-based restrictions disguised as health regulations. The justices are catching on to the trick.

Writing for the majority, Justice Neil Gorsuch ratified a robust First Amendment in general. “The First Amendment stands as a bulwark against any effort to prescribe an orthodoxy of views,” he wrote, “reflecting a belief that each American enjoys an inalienable right to speak his mind and a faith in the free marketplace of ideas as the best means for finding truth.”

(Haha, note the pronoun jab— Gorsuch said “his mind.” Not “their.” Not even the ridiculous “his or her” construction. Old school.)

Various other government-prescribed orthodoxies come to mind, including covid origins, vaccine injuries, election fraud, mask pseudo-science, and the Lost Continent of Atlantis, to name a few. Gorsuch’s reasoning pushes back on the idea that someone’s ideas can be “dangerous.” Activists didn’t pick up on it, though.

The BBC quoted an LGBT activist group leader, Jaymes Black, who called the decision “painful.” ‘They’ explained, “The Supreme Court’s decision to treat the dangerous practice of conversion therapy as constitutionally protected speech is a tragic step backward for our country that will put young lives at risk.”

For the children!

In her dissent, Justice Jackson wrote, “The Constitution does not pose a barrier to reasonable regulation of harmful medical treatments just because substandard care comes via speech instead of scalpel.” But what about the scalpel? What about the lasting physical harm from macabre surgical procedures that create lifelong side-effects? Never mind those!

⚖️ Meanwhile, in Florida:

🦩 Florida’s version of the SAVE Act was formally presented to Governor DeSantis yesterday, giving him 15 days to sign or veto it, or it automatically becomes law. He’s expected to sign. Democrat lawfare expert and Perkins Coie alum Marc Elias reflexively vowed to immediately sue.

Good luck, Marc! He’ll be in Florida courts this time. He’ll undoubtedly start in Tallahassee, with its bench of liberal luminaries, but then the case will springboard into the commonsense arms of the First District Court of Appeal, which is the most conservative appellate bench in the country. I can’t wait.

🦩Governor DeSantis signed Missy’s Law, which requires judges to keep people convicted of sexual crimes in custody until sentencing— a loophole liberal judges used that got Missy Mogle, 5, murdered.

🦩Governor DeSantis and the State’s Attorney General James Uthmeier called for the legislature to impeach the Leon County judge, Tiffany Baker-Carper, who released Missy’s murderer— a convicted (but not yet sentenced) pedophile. AG Uthmier asked the legislature to impeach her for malfeasance, bringing disrepute to the judiciary, and wearing earrings the size of one of Neptune’s moons:

Judge Baker-Carper released him because he had “no violent criminal history.” He made some, about a month later. Maybe if we can get this impeachment thing going at the state level, it will bubble up to the federal court system at some point.

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Something remarkable broke loose yesterday, and the corporate media —preoccupied with its usual obsessions— completely missed it. Or maybe they didn’t miss it; maybe they just couldn’t figure out how to frame it without accidentally making Trump look like a genius. Let’s start with Ukraine —the linchpin of 2016-26 geopolitics— because that’s where this story really begins. Two days ago, Reuters reported, “Allies sent Ukraine ‘signals’ on reducing strikes on Russian oil, Zelenskiy says.”

For the last two years, the collective West cheered every time Ukraine hit a Russian oil refinery. Zelensky was glowingly described as David slinging precision drones at Goliath’s wallet, cutting an estimated $150 million per day from Moscow’s war chest. He was a hero! He got standing ovations in Congress. He got magazine covers. The works.

Then Iran happened.

When the Strait of Hormuz closed in early March, twenty percent of the world’s oil supply vanished overnight. Brent crude (what the Europeans pay) rocketed to $116 a barrel —a 60% surge in a single month, the largest on record. European gas prices shot up 70%. Western Australia literally declared a state of fuel emergency this week.

And the first thing the West did —the very first thing— was ease sanctions on Russian oil. Because suddenly they needed it. It wasn’t optional. It wasn’t a “nice to have.” It’s existential.

The not-so-funny comedian watched his leverage vanish into the Ukrainian mud. The sanctions he’d spent two years fighting for were quietly rolled back, because (1) Europeans needed to heat their citizens’ homes and fill their tanks, and (2) everybody is getting sick of him anyway. So Zelensky did the only thing he knows how to do: he escalated. On March 26th, he told Reuters his strikes on Russian refineries were specifically because the West had eased sanctions — “By lifting sanctions on the aggressor, who makes money every day,” he explained.

Two days later, Ukrainian drones struck Russia’s Baltic export terminals at Primorsk and Ust-Luga— ports that pipe oil to Europe.

That’s when all the phone calls started. Reuters, Bloomberg, and the BBC all reported that unnamed “allies” sent Zelensky “signals” to knock it off. Scale back the strikes. You’re hurting us. Six months ago, Zelensky was Europe’s Churchill. This week, he became the guy standing between London and affordable petrol.

Zelensky nervously read the room. On March 30th, he publicly proposed a mutual “energy ceasefire”— Ukraine would stop hitting Russian refineries if Russia stopped hitting Ukrainian power plants. It was an optics move intended to make him look reasonable and shift the ball into Moscow’s court. But Russia, predictably, rejected it. They launched 339 drones overnight just to make the point.

🚀 What just became abundantly and astonishingly clear was: the Iran war is doing more to end the Ukraine war than two years of diplomacy ever did. Not necessarily by design— or maybe entirely by design. Because the cascade didn’t stop with Vladimir’s conundrum.

On March 31st, President Trump apparently had enough of his “allies.” Italy had just refused to let American bombers use Sigonella air base. France denied airspace for weapons transport. Spain blocked base access. Poland said no to Patriot deployments.

Trump’s response was vintage: he called them “cowards,” told them to “build up some delayed courage,” and delivered the line of the year: “Go get your own oil!”

Within hours —not days, not weeks, hours— the dominoes started falling. The UK Home Office, which had spent years studiously ignoring the grooming gangs scandal, suddenly announced a full national inquiry to “explicitly examine the role of ethnicity, religion, and culture.” The same day —the same day— they announced they were scrapping Non-Crime Hate Incidents, ending the Orwellian practice of investigating ordinary, law-abiding British citizens for legal social media posts. That tweet got 30,000 likes. When a government announcement goes viral, you know something fundamental has shifted.

Then, puffy-faced UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer made an emergency address to the United Kingdom announcing that UK military planners would meet to discuss how to make the Strait of Hormuz “accessible and safe.” His exact words to the British people: “I do have to level with people on this. This will not be easy.”

CLIP: Starmer ‘levels’ with people, finally (2:28).

Twelve thousand miles away, Australia’s prime minister, Anthony Albanese, gave a nearly identical emergency speech. “The months ahead may not be easy. I want to be upfront about that.” Almost word for word. If those weren’t shared talking points from a Five Eyes briefing, I’ll eat my cordless keyboard.

🚀 Meanwhile, Germany’s Chancellor Merz suddenly found the courage to admit that “a considerable proportion of violence” in Germany comes “from immigrant groups” — a sentence that would have ended a German political career six months ago. Germany’s Economy Minister called their nuclear phase-out a “huge mistake.” (In related news, the captain of the Titanic was quoted as saying, ‘icebergs are underestimated.’)

Even France, which had just refused American bomber access, sent Macron scurrying to Tokyo for emergency energy talks with Japan — America’s closest Pacific ally. Macron is trying to build a coalition around the United States by lobbying America’s best friends, which tells you everything you need to know about how much leverage France actually has with Trump right now.

The pattern is unmistakable. Trump said go get your own oil, and within 24 hours:

• The UK addressed the grooming gangs, restored free speech protections, and committed military assets;

• Australia declared a fuel emergency and started rationing talk;

• Germany admitted immigration is causing violence and its energy policy was wrong; and

• Zelensky offered to stop hitting Russian oil and asked Trump to broker an Easter truce.

Some of these —like Australia’s fuel emergency— are genuinely driven by the energy crisis. But the grooming gangs? Non-Crime Hate Incidents? Those aren’t about oil prices. Those are political concessions that have nothing to do with the Strait of Hormuz and much more to do with staying in their own public’s good graces.

In other words, the energy crisis is forcing Europe to start embracing populism.

The energy crisis is doing what years of populist movements, Brexit, Yellow Vests, and AfD couldn’t— it’s forcing the establishment to adopt populist positions just to survive. Grooming gangs, free speech, immigration honesty, nuclear power— these were all “far right” talking points six months ago. Now suddenly, they’re government policy.

The irony! European elites spent a decade calling populism a threat to democracy. Now they’re adopting it to save their own skins. Somebody should look into how this happened.

Finally —and most significantly— President Trump has scheduled another emergency address about Iran at 9pm tonight (after the markets close). Many think he plans to announce the next phase in the Iran war —a phase that will be even less easy for the Europeans.

Useless corporate media will report all this separately, as a series of unrelated events. That’s not even close to the real story. What you’re watching is the post-American world order being renegotiated in real time, and the negotiator is a guy who builds hotels for a living.

This will not be easy. True, not for them. But President Trump is making it look pretty easy for him. The sooner the Europeans figure out what TAW stands for, the better it will go for them.

Europe is undergoing its own conversion therapy right now — converting from globalism to populism. I’m pretty sure the Supreme Court just ruled you can’t ban that.

Have a wonderful Wednesday! Swerve back here tomorrow morning, for another installment of essential news and insightful commentary.

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