☕️ UNCERTIFIED ☙ Thursday, July 10, 2024 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

Tides wash right back in over Biden's Campaign prospects; now, the tires are falling off; Dem lung cancer; NATO's new high-tech weapon terrifies Putin; French update; election security; and lots more.

Good morning, C&Cers, it’s Thursday! I am blogging this morning from an undisclosed location in Nashville, where I am attending a semi-secret political event. So I’m an hour behind Eastern Standard Time and also pressed for time. I need to iron my slacks. Nevertheless, I bring you today’s roundup of essential news: the tides turn again on the Biden Campaign as Hollywood heavyweights and Democrat leaders refuse to get back on the Biden Bus; weird new cluster of airline accidents emerging; SADS story about Democrat lung cancer has happen ending but raises questions; NATO deploys newest high-tech weapon to defeat the evil Russians; what the heck is going on in France; and great election news begins bubbling up around the country.

🗞💬 WORLD NEWS AND COMMENTARY 💬🗞

🔥🔥 Yesterday, the media tried to leverage Joe’s intimate NATO opening address into a comeback story. But not so fast! After a brief low tide of media attacks early this week, during which Joe Biden’s prospects began walking stiffly out of the surf back onto dry land, the water began washing back in. This morning’s first example is a BBC story headlined, “Biden's bruising day sinks hopes Democrats will move on.”

The trouble began when, just as the media was returning to its normal gaslighting about Joe’s potato-like intellect, the New York Times ran an op-ed by George Clooney that jammed the knife back in, right between Joe’s third and fourth political ribs.

Three weeks ago, Clooney hosted a gala, big-money, widely-reported Hollywood fundraiser for Joe. It was the one for which Joe skipped Zelensky’s non-peace peace conference. The one where leaked video showed Barack Obama leading Joe off the stage like a lost puppy. The one after which vexed Karine Von Claude asked Peter Doocy whether it was a crime to “not dance.”

Anyway, for his own reasons, after raising tons of money for Joe, and after being a top Hollywood Democrat for most of his overlong acting career, George Clooney apparently decided that yesterday was the right time to call for Joe to step down. To emphasize his point, Clooney confirmed that the Joe who came to his fundraiser was in fact the same decrepit Joe that America saw during the dreadful debate:

The BBC, citing Clooney’s op-ed, opined this could be it for Joe, despite how well Joe led NATO from behind:

Yesterday, Democrat party leaders deployed a new dodge and alert journalists immediately picked up on it. For example, when asked, Nancy Pelosi pretended Joe is still thinking about it, as though he hadn’t just delivered a neatly-typed, two-page letter saying he wasn’t going anywhere:

Even though Joe has clearly already decided, Pelosi still warned reporters yesterday that Joe doesn’t have much time left to decide. ABC-7 New York:

Nancy and Joe are like an old married couple, arguing through the headlines:

HIM: I’m going to buy that Ford after all.

HER: Well, take your time deciding. Don’t rush into something again.

HIM: Woman, I already decided. I’m buying it.

HER: Just decide wisely.

Perhaps the worst news of all for Biden’s presidential prospects came from this alliterative but sobering NBC headline:

NBC assigned one of their better writers to the story, who neatly incorporated lots of great disaster-related words describing the Biden campaign’s new cash crunch:

Disasters, seismic earthquakes, fallout, and tolls taken. The money has absolutely shut off, they complained. But that is precisely what happens when the media questions whether a candidate will continue in a race. Why should people dump more money into a campaign, until they know for certain who the candidate will be? Worse, a recent donor call with Joe intended to reassure monied Dems seemed fake. Joe just couldn’t sell it:

If money is the mother’s milk of politics, then Biden’s baby is starving. Merely having the question hanging over his campaign is hurting collections. And the question doesn’t seem like it’s going away, not if nagging Nancy has anything to do with it.

✈️✈️ Last month we saw a weird cluster of airplane engine fires. Well, July’s theme appears to be lost tires. First, on Tuesday a United plane lost a wheel on takeoff out of LA:

Then yesterday it happened again, in Florida. And this time, for extra fun, the plane caught fire:

Both planes landed safely, and both airlines managed to locate their lost tires, probably with help from their wives. It’s right there! Right in front of you! You just needed to move that bush over a little!

I’m on three flights in four days. Just saying.

💉💉 I haven’t run a SADS story in a while, but this one tracks our earlier story this week about smokers and lung cancers. The Hill ran the article yesterday headlined, “Arizona Democrat reveals he’s finished cancer treatment.”

The good news is that Representative Raúl Grijalva (D-Ariz.) is doing much better. In April, he went to his doctor with a persistent cough. At first, the doctors understandably misdiagnosed Raúl’s lung cancer as pneumonia, since Raúl is a non-smoker.

Why would they suspect lung cancer?

Anyway, they eventually figured it out and the Representative announced yesterday that his treatment is finished, and he’s just waiting for his doctors to clear him for airline travel, with or without tires, so he can get back to D.C. working for the people. Raúl posted this on X:

If there’s one thing we can learn from Raúl’s case, and from our earlier article about spiking lung cancer rates, it is that cigarettes can give you lung cancer even if you don’t smoke them. Just by existing. Try not to stand too close to the cigarette section when you check out at the gas station.

🚀🚀  NATO is back in the headlines, again, because everybody is waiting impatiently for Joe to mumble something so that social media can endlessly debate whether his calling the Constitution “the Confortuna fish” counts as dementia or not.  But this next article wasn’t about Joe. NATO has deployed a brand new high-tech weapon to defeat the Russians! This time, it’s lights out, comrades. The Washington Post ran the story headlined, “NATO’s newest weapon is online content creators. Influencers!

Influencers like the one pictured above. Her name is A.B. Burns-Tucker, and the WaPo described her as “covering commentary in African American vernacular.” NATO’s criteria for influencers must be a state secret, since Ms. Tucker’s most recent tweet —ten days ago on July 1st— only got two likes and three comments:

As of this morning, Burns-Tucker had a whopping 6,941 followers, which compares favorably to the Cooking with Beets Twitter account (5,391 followers). Haha, but in fairness, Burns-Tucker does have 700,000 followers (allegedly) on TikTok. I couldn’t transcribe this example of her work, you tell me what she said:

CLIP: ‘He gonna bust a grape,’ or words to that effect (2:15).

Astonishingly, she got over 60,000 comments on that indecipherable TikTok. But her older, NATO-themed video, filmed from the NATO summit, only got 78 comments. Her followers don’t seem to be as interested in NATO as A.B. Tucker-Burns suddenly has become, for some reason, which probably somehow involves little green pieces of paper with dead presidents on them:

You are probably wondering how NATO plans defeat Russia using its new influencer weapon, a weapon that WaPo generously called “arguably unproven:”

Arguably. But what isn’t arguable is that NATO is dumping millions, not into hypersonic missiles or air defense tech, but into flying influencers like A.B. Burns-Tucker around the world for free hoping to boost its flagging resonance, which is a nice way of saying nobody cares about NATO.

My best guess is NATO saw how well the covid scam worked by buying influencers during the pandemic and now it wants a piece of the action, too. Or, they watched a TikTok called “ten weird ways to boost your social media presence.” Either way.

🔥🔥 However bad you may think things are, it could be worse. A lot worse. We could be France. Consider several headlines yesterday about that country’s cheesy recent elections. The first headline explained—according to France’s sitting president, mind you— “no one won”:

So. Next up, Bloomberg said le rats are departing le ship:

And then came this wild headline, suggesting Politico’s aggravated headline editors just threw their hands up in the air, and asked the question that everyone is asking:

What the heck is going on? That’s what we’d like to know!

Jeff’s Rule of Modern Journalist 212: when a corporate media headline poses a question, the article never answers that question. Don’t bother reading it.

🔥 We are seeing signs of life in the election security arena, right on schedule. The fight was always going to come down to the last quarter. It wouldn’t make sense to have begun earlier, since that would have left time for Democrats to figure out new ways to cheat. Here’s our first headline, from Representative Chip Roy’s (R-TX) Twitter account:

The SAVE Act, or Safeguard American Voter Eligibility Act, is a controversial bill aimed at the bizarre idea of ensuring only U.S. citizens participate in federal elections, by requiring proof of citizenship for voter registration. Introduced by Senator Mike Lee and Representative Chip Roy, the bill would amend the National Voter Registration Act to require states obtain proof of citizenship when registering people to vote in federal elections. Crazy!

All but five House Democrats voted against requiring proof of citizenship to vote. Because racism. Anyway, it is progress. On to the Senate. It’s not completely clear that Biden could afford the veto if they can push SAVE through the Senate. Either way, it would be political dynamite.

Next up, a headline from yesterday’s Associated Press article:

In Nevada’s second biggest county, local Republicans refused to certify machine-counted votes in two recounted elections, creating a historic problem and freaking Democrats out about what could happen in November:

I suspect we will see a lot more of this soon. Stay tuned for more encouraging election security news.

After the NATO Summit finishes tonight, President Rutabega will take a calculated risk and try to shore up his cognitive credentials by delivering an “unscripted” press conference and supposedly answering actual questions from reporters. As far as I can tell, Joe’s last unscripted press conference was back on November 9th, 2022, when he gloated over the midterm elections. Since then, bupkis.

At this point, it’s hard to imagine what kind of Lincolesque performance Joe could possibly deliver to cure his political problems. This year continues to deliver.

I have to run! Have a terrific Thursday, and get back here tomorrow morning for more, including a recap of Joe’s first ‘unscripted’ press conference tonight.

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