☕️ APRIL’S FOOLS ☙ Monday, April 1, 2024 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

Biden goes walkabout; TN outlaws veggie vaxxing; Russia formally levels terrorism charges; (another) study shows vax-HIV link; NZ hate criminals whitewash gays; great Tucker and Guyana clips; more.

Good morning, C&C, it’s Monday! With only seven months left till the elections, things are heating up. Your roundup includes: Joe Biden’s Easter Walkabout; Tennessee moves against veggie vaccines; Russia formally accuses Ukraine in Moscow terror attack and demands terrorist be handed over; more evidence that long-vaxx is similar to HIV infection; hate criminals in New Zealand commit an unspeakable crime; Tucker vows to never use a pro-jab doctor again; and the President of Guyana, sitting on the largest seafloor oil reserve yet, amuses by handing a snooty BBC reporter his hat.

🗞💬 WORLD NEWS AND COMMENTARY 💬🗞

🔥 Late yesterday, Politico ran a story with the rather startling headline, “POTUS’ 48-minute walkabout.” Yesterday, the leader of the free world was missing for nearly an hour.

Politico explained that during yesterday morning’s annual non-religious Easter and Transsexual Awareness Day egg rolling contest, White House aides suddenly and unexpectedly discovered that the Resident was no longer present on the lawn. Capitol police sergeant Awame Blassho explained, “some confusion had arose over who was suppose to be attending the president at that time.”

Politico reported that at first, aides believed Biden had urgently shambled back into the White House to take a critical comfort opportunity. As a result, aides lost precious time searching White House conveniences. Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Porvody told reporters, “President Biden can be unpredictable in his choice of destination when nature calls, so it took several minutes to check all the obvious spots. But we didn’t find him.”

Once informed about the Nation’s missing chief executive, the Secret Service — working with Capitol Police — located Mr. Biden several blocks away from the White House.

The Secret Service declined comment for the story. But a person working in the White House yesterday explained, “the President heard the Franklin Park ice cream truck tinkling, went for a cone, but got disoriented. He sure loves his ice cream.”

Rather than viewing the lost presidential 48 minutes as anything alarming, Politico ended its article affectionately describing Biden’s wandering off as though it were just an eccentric quirk:

Most people can relate to Mr. Biden’s passion for a cool treat on a warm day — it was 68 degrees and sunny — but his pugnacious individuality can at times cause problems for the staff. Although Biden got understandably turned around, what with all the one-way streets around the White House, and couldn’t find his own way back, Capitol Police safely and effectively recovered POTUS — and all was well. Franklin Park, named for another highly-independent American character, Benjamin Franklin, was perhaps the most perfect place on a perfect day for the president’s sugary walkabout.

Haha, just kidding. Well kind of. It’s amusing because it could happen. But Happy April Fool’s Day! On to the real roundup.

💉 Tennessee local WKRN News ran an encouraging story over the weekend headlined, “Tennessee’s ‘vaccine lettuce’ bill heads to Gov. Bill Lee’s desk.” Bill sponsor Representative Scott Cepicky (R) explained the bill would “classify these types of food sources as pharmaceuticals, so if you want to consume them you would go to your doctor and get a prescription.”

It sounds totally insane to even need a law like this, but the article cited at least three different efforts to include vaccines in food.  The University of California Riverside is working on a $500,000, 2021 grant from the National Science Foundation to study whether plant cells could be engineered to produce mRNA vaccines. They are also trying to see whether edible plants can make as much mRNA as a traditional injection does (and provide the correct dosage).

For some reason.

Second, according to the article, Kentucky BioProcessing, LLC, has announced it is already “infecting growing tobacco plants with a genetically modified coronavirus to see if it can produce antibodies for a possible vaccine.” Nothing could go wrong with that plan. And third, Representative Cepicky said the U.S. Congress had recently taken up a bill that to allow vaccines to be dispersed through the nation’s food supply.

If all these plant vaccine schemes seem to you like the dumbest idea yet in a long series of dumb vaccine ideas, you’d be right. Apart from vaccinating people without their knowledge, which proponents deny is a reason, what is the use case justifying the cost and effort of safely and effectively modifying the genes of sweet potatoes and broccoli, to vaccinate people for covid, which people don’t even want anymore?

Why can’t they just leave the poor vegetables alone? Do they have to ‘improve’ everything?

You know the answer.

🚀 Yesterday, Russia Today ran a story fraught with implications headlined, “Moscow demands that Kiev surrender terrorism suspects.” Corporate media completely ignored the story.

Russia’s formally-presented demand for Ukraine’s terrorists included but was not limited to the recent Crocus City Hall concert hall attack, which left at least 144 people dead and over 500 injured. Among other reasons, the Russian government cited Ukraine’s assassination of a Russian military blogger, its car-bombing of a journalist Daria Dugina, its bombing of the Crimean Bridge killing several civilians, its recent raids on small Russian border villages, and its attacks on Russia’s polling places during the recent election.

Nobody but Ukraine seriously disputes Ukraine’s officially involvement in multiple acts of terrorism against Russia over the last couple years, as evidenced by this New York Times headline from October 2022:

Similarly, last June the Washington Post fingered Ukraine’s special forces for intentionally creating the largest manmade environmental catastrophe in history, by bombing the Nordstream pipeline, a purely-civilian infrastructure component that used to provide lifesaving energy to millions of Europeans:

Until now, Moscow never formally complained. But last week, during an interview, Ukrainian spy chief Vasily Malyuk bragged about attacking the Crimean bridge and doing “other” nefarious things inside Russia. Russia responded to all that bragging this weekend, by issuing a formal two-part demand based on various international treaties combating terrorism: first, Russia demanded that Ukraine generally surrender anyone in the country it suspects of terrorism. Second, and more interesting, it specifically identified Malyuk, pictured above, as a wanted terrorist.

To prevent arguments from the peanut gallery, here’s how the U.N. defines terrorism against civilians in its International Convention for the Suppression of the Financing of Terrorism:

Any act intended to cause death or serious bodily injury to a civilian, or to any other person not taking an active part in the hostilities in a situation of armed conflict, when the purpose of such act, by its nature or context, is to intimidate a population, or to compel a government or an international organization to do or to abstain from doing any act.

Next, here’s how the U.N. defines terrorism against infrastructure in its International Convention for Suppression of Terrorist Bombings (1997), which appears to easily encompass the Nordstream pipeline (an infrastructure facility) and the Kerch Bridge (a public transportation system):

Any person commits an offence within the meaning of this Convention if that person unlawfully and intentionally delivers, places, discharges or detonates an explosive or other lethal device in, into or against a place of public use, a State or government facility, a public transportation system or an infrastructure facility…with the intent to cause extensive destruction of such a place, facility or system, where such destruction results in or is likely to result in major economic loss.

Because the Obama/Biden neocons have abandoned the rule of law in favor of the rule of convenience, or the rule of justification, the U.N. will not hold Ukraine to account, condemn it, criticize it, or even talk to it in a stern tone of voice. Especially not with all the American and British octopus tentacles probably wrapped around these attacks. Terrorism is okay when we say it is.

So the Russian demands are more interesting for what they imply rather than for making anything happen. The West will ignore Russia’s formal linkage of Ukraine to the Moscow terror attack. Ukraine is probably yukking it up about the demand to hand over its spy chief, Malyuk. Like that will ever happen. But, by pushing forward in the political/legal domain, Moscow is pressuring the failing Ukraine regime and highlighting the West’s hypocrisy and moral poverty.

💉 On Saturday, the Epoch Times ran a story headlined, “Vaccinated People Show Long COVID-Like Symptoms With Detectable Spike Proteins: Preprint Study.”

Epoch’s article referenced a March 24th preprint study by thirteen authors with the wordy title, “Persistence of S1 Spike Protein in CD16+ Monocytes up to 245 Days in SARS-CoV-2 Negative Post COVID-19 Vaccination Individuals with Post-Acute Sequalae of COVID-19 (PASC)-Like Symptoms”

The gist was researchers studied 50 covid-naive (never infected) patients with long covid symptoms who’d gotten at least one of the covid vaccines. They extracted immune cells from 14 post-vaccine patients, finding that almost all of them (13) had spike protein in their immune cells — up to 245 days after their last jab. (Asymptomatic vaccinees showed no spike.)

Remember, they promised the mRNA spike could not possibly persist in the body for 245 days (or more). The mRNA was supposed to completely clear within hours. They impatiently explained to us morons that mRNA is very delicate and is quickly metabolized. But of course, the jabs don’t use natural mRNA, which is, in fact, delicate. Instead the jabs use super-sturdy artificial mRNA, which was basically designed to last forever.

And somehow, the people’s own immune cells got transfected by jab mRNA — something else that was never supposed to happen. The mRNA was supposed to safely stay in shoulder muscle cells near the injection site. Whoopsies! And now, one wonders how people’s immune systems can clear the body’s cells transfected with spike protein if the immune system itself was transfected.

Another broken promise.

You probably won’t be surprised to learn the transfection of immune cells reminded the researchers of how HIV and hepatitis C viruses work. Lead researcher Dr. Patterson even reported successfuly treating long covid patients using an HIV drug. Apparently it works so well, it is currently his preferred treatment modality. Patterson thinks ‘long vax’ and long covid are similar, both related to lingering spike protein, but long covid is caused by viral infection.

🔥 Some masked midnight hoodlums — if you can believe this — daringly painted over a rainbow crosswalk in woke New Zealand, leading to a massive, island-wide manhunt to locate and bring to justice the unidentified hate mongers, who are literally worse than Hitler:

CLIP: Kiwi scofflaws whitewash gay rainbow crosswalk (1:06).

How dare they! The genocidal street painters were literally erasing rainbow people, whose endless alphabet acronym has grown so long and complicated I won’t even try to recite it, out of fear of omitting some thin-skinned group and thereby committing a hate crime myself.

People must be getting pretty sick of all the rainbow nonsense to take a risk like that. They’ll be canceled for sure, and they could even get life in prison, or worse. They could be forced to do community service at drag shows.

💉 Tucker Carlson recently appeared on the Jimmy Dore Show and called for jab doctors to apologize. Even stronger, Tucker promised to never use any doctor who is “still lying about covid,” calling them immoral and dangerous:

CLIP: Tucker Carlson calls for doctors to apologize for pushing jabs (1:14).

It was interesting because Tucker wouldn’t attack “mainstream” doctors so emphatically if he didn’t think it resonated with his massive audience. Tucker’s little rant not only says something about where his mind is at, but it also says something more broadly about the country’s mood.

The country’s mood wants doctors to fess up and apologize already.

🔥 Enjoy this recent clip of a smug, fussy, effeminate BBC reporter accusing Guyana’s president of wrecking the “climate” by developing that country’s vast, newly-discovered undersea oil reserves. Guyana’s president was having none of it and quickly put the arrogant reporter in his place, right down amongst the creeping things that crawl upon the Earth:

CLIP: Mohamed Irfaan Ali, President of Guyana goes President Trump on BBC reporter (2:20).

President Ali starts by saying, “I am not finished as yet! I will lecture YOU about climate change!” and it only gets better from there. Since the pandemic, reporters regularly score the lowest on trust and likability surveys, much to the amusement and benefit of lawyers, whose stocks have gone up a lot. Behold Gallup’s headline from October 2022 (and things have only gotten worse for reporters since then):

Sometimes I wonder whether it was President Trump who first showed the world how to handle sold-out corporate media narrative pushers. Anyway, enjoy the clip of President Ali taking the awful BBC reporter to school.

Have a marvelous Monday! You may not be able to trust reporters, but you can trust Coffee & Covid, so get back here for a terrific Tuesday roundup, when I’ll explain what to do if the FBI visits to talk about your social media posts.

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