I find I am getting better at this as I age. It's hard not to fall into wanting to be liked though. But as I told my husband when I used to hang out with this group of other daycare moms (almost all of whom were staunch and loud liberals), we just disagree so much on life that much of our time spent together was me working very hard to k…
I find I am getting better at this as I age. It's hard not to fall into wanting to be liked though. But as I told my husband when I used to hang out with this group of other daycare moms (almost all of whom were staunch and loud liberals), we just disagree so much on life that much of our time spent together was me working very hard to keep my mouth shut. I was stifling myself. What is the point of having "friends" you can't be yourself around?
And we like to think oh, it's just politics, you can be friends with anyone, but it's so much bigger than that. There were real life issues that I very strongly disagreed with them on. For example, they thought it was just fine to send their 5 year old kids to a week long golf camp with TWO level 3 sex offenders present. My conservative mom friends pulled their kids from the camp and that was that. But this crew said things like "oh I am sure it's just a misunderstanding from highschool" or "oh but he's such a nice guy, I'm sure it's fine". See what I mean? This isn't politics, this is real life differences as wide as a canyon. I just can't get on the same page with these people.
I think it's great that it sounds like you've never really fallen into this trap. Saved yourself a lot of time and frustration from the sounds of it :-)
—“What is the point of having "friends" you can't be yourself around?”
Totally agree with this and the reason why I stopped interacting with many of my “friends” on FB. They were people I genuinely liked and cared about and who had been very supportive to me during some difficult times, but I got tired of the sneering and judgmental (or preening and self congratulatory) comments about politics and then about Covid, BLM etc. I was just over it. The thing is, we agreed on a lot of other things, but their lack of ability to see outside the “approved” political POV.
You are too kind, I don’t know that I’ve escaped it as it has affected me negatively in many ways but in the end, I feel like my integrity and principles matter much more than my popularity. But I had great role models in my parents, who never really cared about doing the popular thing.
Also the reactions of those moms to sex offenders working at camp is beyond the pale, I could never put my kid in danger like that 😕
I think it's crippling and always has been if you get dependent on approval from outsiders for your self worth. It seems that lately, social media has had a toxic effect on women in particular, making them so focused on approval from people they don't even know.
A great thing about getting older is that you get increasingly less concerned with what others think of you. I've always been polite and kind of everyone, but I still realize there will be people who just don't like me....and I just don't care. I don't like everyone I meet either!
I find I am getting better at this as I age. It's hard not to fall into wanting to be liked though. But as I told my husband when I used to hang out with this group of other daycare moms (almost all of whom were staunch and loud liberals), we just disagree so much on life that much of our time spent together was me working very hard to keep my mouth shut. I was stifling myself. What is the point of having "friends" you can't be yourself around?
And we like to think oh, it's just politics, you can be friends with anyone, but it's so much bigger than that. There were real life issues that I very strongly disagreed with them on. For example, they thought it was just fine to send their 5 year old kids to a week long golf camp with TWO level 3 sex offenders present. My conservative mom friends pulled their kids from the camp and that was that. But this crew said things like "oh I am sure it's just a misunderstanding from highschool" or "oh but he's such a nice guy, I'm sure it's fine". See what I mean? This isn't politics, this is real life differences as wide as a canyon. I just can't get on the same page with these people.
I think it's great that it sounds like you've never really fallen into this trap. Saved yourself a lot of time and frustration from the sounds of it :-)
—“What is the point of having "friends" you can't be yourself around?”
Totally agree with this and the reason why I stopped interacting with many of my “friends” on FB. They were people I genuinely liked and cared about and who had been very supportive to me during some difficult times, but I got tired of the sneering and judgmental (or preening and self congratulatory) comments about politics and then about Covid, BLM etc. I was just over it. The thing is, we agreed on a lot of other things, but their lack of ability to see outside the “approved” political POV.
You are too kind, I don’t know that I’ve escaped it as it has affected me negatively in many ways but in the end, I feel like my integrity and principles matter much more than my popularity. But I had great role models in my parents, who never really cared about doing the popular thing.
Also the reactions of those moms to sex offenders working at camp is beyond the pale, I could never put my kid in danger like that 😕
I think it's crippling and always has been if you get dependent on approval from outsiders for your self worth. It seems that lately, social media has had a toxic effect on women in particular, making them so focused on approval from people they don't even know.
A great thing about getting older is that you get increasingly less concerned with what others think of you. I've always been polite and kind of everyone, but I still realize there will be people who just don't like me....and I just don't care. I don't like everyone I meet either!
And the Bible cautions against seeking worldly/other people’s approval instead of focusing on God’s approval!