The trouble with people like Emily is that she is using her own lack of doing diligence as a reason to excuse her bad behavior. Like, she just didn’t know the koolaid had cyanide in it, but now she does, so can we just go back to making our mud pies. Or something.
I’ve done some things that, given what I know now, I would not have done. I don’t go around saying, “well, I just didn’t know.” Instead, I say, “wow, I wish I had listened to the people who trying to tell me x, that I had asked them some questions, instead of writing them off as kooks.” And I say, “I’m really sorry for what I did, I wish I had known differently. I would have done differently. Please forgive me.”
From my perspective, you are a rarity. I haven’t heard a single personal account of such an apology in my circle. My daughter was tortured by her in-laws through those times. Crickets. Just not a topic any longer.
My apology has nothing to do with the current craziness. I’m referring to other stuff. Although I hope that I would have the courage and moral character to be willing to admit wrong doing in this area as well.
And, in full disclosure, I have not actually been faced with having to actually say those things face to face, in a particular instance that is in my mind. So, I acknowledge that mentally envisioning the apology is easier than having to speak it out loud. And especially if I discovered that what I didn’t listen to or know ended up causing harm. So, just trying to remember my own human frailty too.
I agree with what you said.
The trouble with people like Emily is that she is using her own lack of doing diligence as a reason to excuse her bad behavior. Like, she just didn’t know the koolaid had cyanide in it, but now she does, so can we just go back to making our mud pies. Or something.
I’ve done some things that, given what I know now, I would not have done. I don’t go around saying, “well, I just didn’t know.” Instead, I say, “wow, I wish I had listened to the people who trying to tell me x, that I had asked them some questions, instead of writing them off as kooks.” And I say, “I’m really sorry for what I did, I wish I had known differently. I would have done differently. Please forgive me.”
From my perspective, you are a rarity. I haven’t heard a single personal account of such an apology in my circle. My daughter was tortured by her in-laws through those times. Crickets. Just not a topic any longer.
My apology has nothing to do with the current craziness. I’m referring to other stuff. Although I hope that I would have the courage and moral character to be willing to admit wrong doing in this area as well.
And, in full disclosure, I have not actually been faced with having to actually say those things face to face, in a particular instance that is in my mind. So, I acknowledge that mentally envisioning the apology is easier than having to speak it out loud. And especially if I discovered that what I didn’t listen to or know ended up causing harm. So, just trying to remember my own human frailty too.
Exactly. I am all for people doing that. But it takes humility and that is in very short supply nowadays, seemingly.