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BBS's avatar

When my son was 10 and my daughter was 8 months, their dad/my husband was killed by a drunk driver. We had plenty of male friends and family who could have stepped up, especially for my 10 yr. old son, but they didn't. We were so desperate to feel "normal" and it would have meant so much to the 3 of us to be included. I am urging all of you guys who know someone who is fatherless, for whatever reason, to , at least from time-to-time, reach out. Male figures are vital in a child's life.

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Mary Ann Caton's avatar

Same happened to my husband’s father. He stopped to help a guy move his disabled vehicle off the road when a drunk driver struck and killed him. Three children were left without a father and my mother-in-law tried so hard to be both parents to them. All 3 are grown adults now who have holes in their hearts that have affected them in different ways.

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FreeBird07's avatar

Agree 100%! My BIL passed away just a month ago leaving a wife and four children 17, 14, 10 and 9. They do have a strong church community with lots of fathers providing support.

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carily myers's avatar

Thank God

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Thunder Road's avatar

Wow. I am so sorry to hear of this tragedy you and your children have had to endure. Perhaps these men who in your view did not step up just really didn't know how or what to do. These situations are so horrible and can be so difficult for people to navigate even from outside. There is no script to follow. Just so much pain and confusion and loss. Of course I don't know anything of your particular situation and do not mean to judge. May God bless you and your children as well as your late husband.

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Paige Green's avatar

Think about it - a man, possibly with a family of his own, spending time with a widow’s children is so sus in this day and age. No offense to your comment, I think it’s beautiful. It’s just that there’s so many bad stories about this type of situation these days, whether real or fabricated.

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Annie's avatar

Agree 💯. I am sorry for your family's loss. 😞 Coaching and being there for all children is important. My husband is much loved as a coach and mentor to the children on our son and daughter's sports teams. 🥰

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Patrice's avatar

My husband died four years ago, at the time my children ranged from 18 to 29. Just last month my son was telling me how much he missed his dad and wished his dad was here to help him navigate life as a new father. Even adult kids need their dad.

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Gram's avatar

Men are vital in single women and moms' lives too!

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carily myers's avatar

YES. We had 5 girls and 1 boy (youngest). Our dad saw each girl differently, who we were, what we liked, tom-boy or fem girl. Dad's are esstential to young girls/women. He passed in 2005 (on my watch). I miss him all the time. He wrote me everyday when I was in Navy boot camp, on an old Royal typewriter (I have it).

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Robin Greer's avatar

What a wonderful dad you had and what a treasure to have the typewriter on which he used to write letters to you . I hope that you have written the story down for your family so that the memory of the typewriter's significance as a memory of your father isn't lost.

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Principled Pragmatist's avatar

Yes. Reading the memoir “Troubled” by Rob Henderson now, who never knew his father, and was abandoned by his mother, only to live in a series of foster homes and semi permanent homes until adulthood. He was desperately seeking a male role model and father figure to fill in the gap. Tremendous story.

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Oregon Kathy's avatar

As a single mom, I agree. Neither friends nor family stood in the gap. People just don't think of such a thing any longer.

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Frontera Lupita's avatar

Amen to that! Kids need a good ‘father’ figure, even if not related.

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