BOOM! Think you nailed it there. My parents scrimped and saved and pinched the pennies until they screamed to put all 4 of us girls through Catholic schools, where the vast majority of our classmates saw us as the charity case family. I struggled with 'imposter syndrome' early in my career but once I had kids I made them my priority and …
BOOM! Think you nailed it there. My parents scrimped and saved and pinched the pennies until they screamed to put all 4 of us girls through Catholic schools, where the vast majority of our classmates saw us as the charity case family. I struggled with 'imposter syndrome' early in my career but once I had kids I made them my priority and didn't give 2 f's what people thought any more. Our 'women warriors' group that started during covid ranges from a woman who lives in public housing to a woman who lives in a multi-million dollar home (that has a great space for holding fundraisers and political events). We are all GOD'S children and are united by a common cause. My friend was never able to have kids, although her white trash brother had kids by 5 different women and she is a great aunt to all these nieces and nephews. But she definitely comes at all this with a superiority complex, that you are right, is probably driven by an inferiority complex. Never thought about it that way but think you are 100% right.
After having observed a lot of these kinds of people over the years, I have thought a lot about why they are the way they are. I also think that they feel some guilt about their success in life (here I’m talking about the “educated” middle and upper middle class leftists) and so that helps drive the whole “we must save the poor and the minorities with our policies and legislation” mentality. This idea is coupled with their sense of being superior, so they think those poor and minority groups are too stupid to make their own decisions and must be told how to live by their “betters.” And they don’t actually care if those populations really *are* helped, just that there are as many government programs in place as possible that pretend to help. They’re tools and useful idiots whose vanities and insecurities are used by those in power to continue to make money and gain influence on the backs of those people they claim to be helping.
Yes, human psychology is so interesting! I took a couple of classes in college but found out you had to have a masters or PhD to actually DO anything with it, so went the business degree route. I too try to figure people out, without much success though. Better off in business as I am better at the left-brained linear kinds of problems vs right-brained out of the box thinking.
I know that from a policy standpoint, the 'save the poor' programs have been a disaster, as they are a hand OUT not a hand UP. My parents were lifelong D's and there were years in the 70's where my union electrician dad was laid off, construction was not a great field in the Carter years. But he refused any offer of help, even from the church, he was a proud man and refused charity. Planted a huge garden, and traded electrical work for sides of beef with his farmer uncle. We never went hungry. But never considered that the policies he voted for was the reason he was out of work. He started to see through the BS after he retired, died during the Obama years, never liked him, although he voted for him in 2008. Mom was staunchly pro-life, and volunteered for years at a pregnancy crisis center and was proud of all the gov programs she helped girls who kept their babies qualify for, and she distributed truck loads of donated diapers and clothes. She suspected some of them never actually planned to have an abortion, but knew there was a lot of free stuff there. Saving babies is God's work, but these programs also contribute to the destruction of the family, encourage learned helplessness, and dependence on the government. She quit around the time my dad's health started failing but also said she quit as she was tired of having to volunteer around all these Republicans, as by the 2000's abortion was clearly a partisan issue. Still votes D and anything I say that tries to question her narratives throws her into a blind rage. So I try to avoid it as much as I can, old dog, new tricks at this point.
Yeah I am not the kind of person who could study psychology much because imo a lot of it is mumbo jumbo theories that turn out to be wrong and a lot of times are used to justify poor policies and approaches. The human brain is so complex. We still don’t really understand a lot about how it really works. But I do like to observe people’s behaviors and try to figure out what their motivations are and what they have in common. Mostly as a curiosity and a way to help me understand the world and society, than anything else. I’ve come to the conclusion that the desire to feel superior to others (which is I think a common human trait) and a related issue of a lack of humility are at the root of many of our problems as a society and also as individuals. People can find this imagined superiority through their income, education, religion, status, political views/tribe, race, and many other things. Then they feel justified oppressing and othering the people they feel think they are superior to. When they refuse to question their own views or consider others’ experiences they are showing pridefulness and a lack of humility. I believe this is at least a good part of all of the strife we see in the world.
I’m sorry about your mom. It’s sad that you no longer feel like you can openly talk with her. It sounds like her desire to help wasn’t as strong as her aversion to Republicans 😕 I always wonder if people who refuse to be around people they view as inferior, the “bad guys”, just are afraid that it might result in their monolithic and stereotypical views of those groups being challenged and they can’t handle that idea.
Oh I have never been able to have a conversation about politics around my mom, although my dad was more rational, we could agree to disagree, although it did not come up as much when he was alive as it does now, where EVERYTHING is political in one way or another. But mom needs me so she will fly off the handle and then reign it in by doing a 180 and changing the subject. Biggest fight was over the shot. Lost that one. She got the first 2 but her dr told her not to get anymore as it gave her hives. Annoying but at least not life threatening.
Agree that humility, and tribalism are huge issues. Religion/belief in God used to reign in a lot of people's worst impulses, and turning from Him means allegiance to self reigns supreme. This is all by design, I believe. And I am guilty, I see people out wearing masks and my reaction runs from contempt to pity depending on my mood.
“Religion/belief in God used to reign in a lot of people's worst impulses, and turning from Him means allegiance to self reigns supreme. This is all by design, I believe.”
Agree with this. And I am fully aware that I am also susceptible to the superiority and lack of humility. But I think being aware of the tendency and trying to minimize it as much as possible, goes a long way.
BOOM! Think you nailed it there. My parents scrimped and saved and pinched the pennies until they screamed to put all 4 of us girls through Catholic schools, where the vast majority of our classmates saw us as the charity case family. I struggled with 'imposter syndrome' early in my career but once I had kids I made them my priority and didn't give 2 f's what people thought any more. Our 'women warriors' group that started during covid ranges from a woman who lives in public housing to a woman who lives in a multi-million dollar home (that has a great space for holding fundraisers and political events). We are all GOD'S children and are united by a common cause. My friend was never able to have kids, although her white trash brother had kids by 5 different women and she is a great aunt to all these nieces and nephews. But she definitely comes at all this with a superiority complex, that you are right, is probably driven by an inferiority complex. Never thought about it that way but think you are 100% right.
After having observed a lot of these kinds of people over the years, I have thought a lot about why they are the way they are. I also think that they feel some guilt about their success in life (here I’m talking about the “educated” middle and upper middle class leftists) and so that helps drive the whole “we must save the poor and the minorities with our policies and legislation” mentality. This idea is coupled with their sense of being superior, so they think those poor and minority groups are too stupid to make their own decisions and must be told how to live by their “betters.” And they don’t actually care if those populations really *are* helped, just that there are as many government programs in place as possible that pretend to help. They’re tools and useful idiots whose vanities and insecurities are used by those in power to continue to make money and gain influence on the backs of those people they claim to be helping.
Yes, human psychology is so interesting! I took a couple of classes in college but found out you had to have a masters or PhD to actually DO anything with it, so went the business degree route. I too try to figure people out, without much success though. Better off in business as I am better at the left-brained linear kinds of problems vs right-brained out of the box thinking.
I know that from a policy standpoint, the 'save the poor' programs have been a disaster, as they are a hand OUT not a hand UP. My parents were lifelong D's and there were years in the 70's where my union electrician dad was laid off, construction was not a great field in the Carter years. But he refused any offer of help, even from the church, he was a proud man and refused charity. Planted a huge garden, and traded electrical work for sides of beef with his farmer uncle. We never went hungry. But never considered that the policies he voted for was the reason he was out of work. He started to see through the BS after he retired, died during the Obama years, never liked him, although he voted for him in 2008. Mom was staunchly pro-life, and volunteered for years at a pregnancy crisis center and was proud of all the gov programs she helped girls who kept their babies qualify for, and she distributed truck loads of donated diapers and clothes. She suspected some of them never actually planned to have an abortion, but knew there was a lot of free stuff there. Saving babies is God's work, but these programs also contribute to the destruction of the family, encourage learned helplessness, and dependence on the government. She quit around the time my dad's health started failing but also said she quit as she was tired of having to volunteer around all these Republicans, as by the 2000's abortion was clearly a partisan issue. Still votes D and anything I say that tries to question her narratives throws her into a blind rage. So I try to avoid it as much as I can, old dog, new tricks at this point.
Yeah I am not the kind of person who could study psychology much because imo a lot of it is mumbo jumbo theories that turn out to be wrong and a lot of times are used to justify poor policies and approaches. The human brain is so complex. We still don’t really understand a lot about how it really works. But I do like to observe people’s behaviors and try to figure out what their motivations are and what they have in common. Mostly as a curiosity and a way to help me understand the world and society, than anything else. I’ve come to the conclusion that the desire to feel superior to others (which is I think a common human trait) and a related issue of a lack of humility are at the root of many of our problems as a society and also as individuals. People can find this imagined superiority through their income, education, religion, status, political views/tribe, race, and many other things. Then they feel justified oppressing and othering the people they feel think they are superior to. When they refuse to question their own views or consider others’ experiences they are showing pridefulness and a lack of humility. I believe this is at least a good part of all of the strife we see in the world.
I’m sorry about your mom. It’s sad that you no longer feel like you can openly talk with her. It sounds like her desire to help wasn’t as strong as her aversion to Republicans 😕 I always wonder if people who refuse to be around people they view as inferior, the “bad guys”, just are afraid that it might result in their monolithic and stereotypical views of those groups being challenged and they can’t handle that idea.
Oh I have never been able to have a conversation about politics around my mom, although my dad was more rational, we could agree to disagree, although it did not come up as much when he was alive as it does now, where EVERYTHING is political in one way or another. But mom needs me so she will fly off the handle and then reign it in by doing a 180 and changing the subject. Biggest fight was over the shot. Lost that one. She got the first 2 but her dr told her not to get anymore as it gave her hives. Annoying but at least not life threatening.
Agree that humility, and tribalism are huge issues. Religion/belief in God used to reign in a lot of people's worst impulses, and turning from Him means allegiance to self reigns supreme. This is all by design, I believe. And I am guilty, I see people out wearing masks and my reaction runs from contempt to pity depending on my mood.
“Religion/belief in God used to reign in a lot of people's worst impulses, and turning from Him means allegiance to self reigns supreme. This is all by design, I believe.”
Agree with this. And I am fully aware that I am also susceptible to the superiority and lack of humility. But I think being aware of the tendency and trying to minimize it as much as possible, goes a long way.