Really understanding heaping burning coals on the head and knowing God will have HIS vengeance really changed the way I deal with people who are not acting very nicely. Sometimes I have to talk myself into it, but I have never been sad for not reacting meanly back or vindictively.
My husband is very good at it (especially with me when I g…
Really understanding heaping burning coals on the head and knowing God will have HIS vengeance really changed the way I deal with people who are not acting very nicely. Sometimes I have to talk myself into it, but I have never been sad for not reacting meanly back or vindictively.
My husband is very good at it (especially with me when I get mad). It stops me dead in my meangirl tracks. I used to think he was trying to Svengali-like manipulate me out of being mad, but no, just his natural reaction. I do it now with friends. It teaches you kindness in the face of mean is strength and it also makes forgiving long term hurt a lot easier. God will sort out what needs sorting and it will be just. A good thing to praise Him for today!
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I’ve had a lot of opportunities to practice, but a huge turning point or learning opportunity was years ago in front of the abortion clinic with hateful people screaming and cussing at me. To respond in love was only possible by allowing Christ to speak through me. Good lesson.
And you never know who saw that interaction and got curious about Christ. Compassion and a kind word (IMO) are a lot more persuasive than other tools some may use to tell people about Christ. And there, in your situation, there was no doubt (in the eye of the onlooker) about the source of your gentleness.
Amen. My beloved sometimes reminds me that no one ever changed his/her opinions, political or otherwise, by being argued or harangued out of them, but only by love. It’s not always easy to practice, but it sure is compelling when we do 🙏🏻
There were many of those moments as we stood on the grass by the road on what felt like holy ground while the parking lot and building exuded evil. You could almost see the demons dancing on the roof.
Don't think I don't know how blessed I am for having him! Yesterday was our 30th anniversary. Maybe you will be the one like my husband. Being the kind one in the face of the snit thrower. He wasn't always like that. He said he was tired of fighting with me and asked God to direct his path. It was a wake up call for me. I asked God to close my big mouth and to start treating my husband like who he was to me - most important after God. It isn't perfection. But it will be one day.
That is so so beautiful Raptor. Pray for us. I come from a family of speaking horribly to one another. I see it but its so hard to break. We both have trauma in our past and lots of yelling in families. :(
Try picking one thing for one day. "I won't insist on the last word. Instead I will sit and listen and not say a word and keep my face neutral" or "I will say I am sorry even if I am mad and offer a hug to reset things and I won't get pissed if he rebuffs my hug. I will try later." Two very hard things that with prayer and getting bolstered by reading your Bible and waking every day with the goal things will get easier. But talk is easy. Go in with a plan and have contingencies for when things go sideways. You are not doomed to whatever course that you are on. God provides an exit ramp.
I sympathize! I do really well usually not to be insulting or use hurtful words but the yelling is something I have a very hard time stopping 😕 Raptor has some great ideas.
Well said. Blessed as well. Your husband is blessed that you are self aware about this. Yes, SNIT thrower is an apt description of MY behavior at times. Trying to be better. Sigh.
I was thinking those of us who commented here or liked the interaction of Raptor and Janice for her action at the clinic, might enjoy a ladies bible study uplifting eachother in being women and wives of God.
I know we all have pur own churches but truth is being primary caregiver of my kid I don’t get out for weekly bible studies. I’d love to connect with others who want to grow in this area. Seems like we have several ladies who would like to and we have some ladies who would do well to lead us.
If so, I’m not sure of other platforms but there is the fb group I started for C&C and we could do a subgroup chat for conversation.
I’m open to ideas! I need other women around me who openly struggle with this and more Titus 2 women to help lead! ❤️
I would be up for it. There are plenty of people on CnC (thank you and sorry Jeff) who love to talk all things Bible. Maybe we could start a stack. I will give it some thought while I am peddling. Hope others might want to.
Really understanding heaping burning coals on the head and knowing God will have HIS vengeance really changed the way I deal with people who are not acting very nicely. Sometimes I have to talk myself into it, but I have never been sad for not reacting meanly back or vindictively.
My husband is very good at it (especially with me when I get mad). It stops me dead in my meangirl tracks. I used to think he was trying to Svengali-like manipulate me out of being mad, but no, just his natural reaction. I do it now with friends. It teaches you kindness in the face of mean is strength and it also makes forgiving long term hurt a lot easier. God will sort out what needs sorting and it will be just. A good thing to praise Him for today!
Thank you Janice.
Proverbs 15:1 - A gentle answer turns away wrath . . .
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I’ve had a lot of opportunities to practice, but a huge turning point or learning opportunity was years ago in front of the abortion clinic with hateful people screaming and cussing at me. To respond in love was only possible by allowing Christ to speak through me. Good lesson.
And you never know who saw that interaction and got curious about Christ. Compassion and a kind word (IMO) are a lot more persuasive than other tools some may use to tell people about Christ. And there, in your situation, there was no doubt (in the eye of the onlooker) about the source of your gentleness.
Amen. My beloved sometimes reminds me that no one ever changed his/her opinions, political or otherwise, by being argued or harangued out of them, but only by love. It’s not always easy to practice, but it sure is compelling when we do 🙏🏻
That was truly a "Holy Spirit" moment, I'm sure, Janice. THE COMFORTER HAS COME and He is with us--ALL THE TIME!
There were many of those moments as we stood on the grass by the road on what felt like holy ground while the parking lot and building exuded evil. You could almost see the demons dancing on the roof.
I sure wish this was so in my family. I need a husband like yours and more grace to change our family.
Don't think I don't know how blessed I am for having him! Yesterday was our 30th anniversary. Maybe you will be the one like my husband. Being the kind one in the face of the snit thrower. He wasn't always like that. He said he was tired of fighting with me and asked God to direct his path. It was a wake up call for me. I asked God to close my big mouth and to start treating my husband like who he was to me - most important after God. It isn't perfection. But it will be one day.
That is so so beautiful Raptor. Pray for us. I come from a family of speaking horribly to one another. I see it but its so hard to break. We both have trauma in our past and lots of yelling in families. :(
Of course I'm going to pray for you!
Try picking one thing for one day. "I won't insist on the last word. Instead I will sit and listen and not say a word and keep my face neutral" or "I will say I am sorry even if I am mad and offer a hug to reset things and I won't get pissed if he rebuffs my hug. I will try later." Two very hard things that with prayer and getting bolstered by reading your Bible and waking every day with the goal things will get easier. But talk is easy. Go in with a plan and have contingencies for when things go sideways. You are not doomed to whatever course that you are on. God provides an exit ramp.
I wish I could “love” this
I sympathize! I do really well usually not to be insulting or use hurtful words but the yelling is something I have a very hard time stopping 😕 Raptor has some great ideas.
Love that perspective ❤️
Well said. Blessed as well. Your husband is blessed that you are self aware about this. Yes, SNIT thrower is an apt description of MY behavior at times. Trying to be better. Sigh.
I was thinking those of us who commented here or liked the interaction of Raptor and Janice for her action at the clinic, might enjoy a ladies bible study uplifting eachother in being women and wives of God.
I know we all have pur own churches but truth is being primary caregiver of my kid I don’t get out for weekly bible studies. I’d love to connect with others who want to grow in this area. Seems like we have several ladies who would like to and we have some ladies who would do well to lead us.
If so, I’m not sure of other platforms but there is the fb group I started for C&C and we could do a subgroup chat for conversation.
I’m open to ideas! I need other women around me who openly struggle with this and more Titus 2 women to help lead! ❤️
I would be up for it. There are plenty of people on CnC (thank you and sorry Jeff) who love to talk all things Bible. Maybe we could start a stack. I will give it some thought while I am peddling. Hope others might want to.
Sometimes we have to REALLY work on our grace. At least, I know I must. I am a mean girl by nature.
"Ask and you will receive", Lisa!
That is an amazing skill and one I still have to work on (a lot)!
You are demonstrating great wisdom, congratulations!